Feeling really anxious about moving

[LizzieMint]

Is this normal?
We're relocating, although not a massive distance away (about an hour's drive), so have to move two children at school and one pre-schooler. We haven't managed to sell our house but are buying one anyway (as we have to move ready for new job) and will just have a huge mortgage until we do sell. The new house is lovely but very old, right by a river and on a main road (we're currently in a very modern house in a quiet cul-de-sac). Both me and DH have been waking in the night with anxiety attacks about whether we're doing the right thing! Surely if it were the right thing it wouldn't be so nerve-wracking? Or is this just a normal part of the upheaval?

if you have already exchanged then it's done and dusted, so start thinking about the positives that made you choose it in the first place.

if you haven't, also think about those.

a huge mortgage will be worrying - where are you in the process of selling your current place?

We haven't exchanged yet, likely to do that next week. Whatever happens we have to move in January anyway because of the new job, it's not doable from where we are now.
We haven't had any offers on ours, have just switched agents but to be honest we're not expecting anything much to happen till next year really. If we had a sniff of a sale here I'd feel much more comfortable.
Huge mortgage is huge, but it's affordable, we wouldn't put ourselves in a position where it'd be difficult for us to pay. It's fixed rate for 2 years so won't go up if interest rates rise.

Have you exchanged now? Are you feeling better or worse?

Cold feet is normal when it comes to buying a new house. But having lived in modern houses, I can say that living in an old house has challenges that you probably can't imagine (due to the efficiencies of modern houses).

Find a more modern house if its not too late.

No, it all fell apart last week anyway because we couldn't get insurance (at a reasonable cost).
So no more anxiety about that, just replaced with massive stress about not having anywhere to move to!!

Sounds like a good thing it fell through, that didn't sound good. Any chance of renting for six months, to give yourselves breathing space?

We're looking at rentals but there's so little on the market where we want to be, it's either a fairly shit house for a reasonable price or a massive jump up (double the price) for a nice house. Hey ho!

sorry it fell through - lesson I suppose is check insurance costs early on next time. Riverside properties may not actually flood (I used to live in one) but insurers don't always see it that way.

re a rental: it's a roof. As long as it is clean, warm and dry (check all works), has all the right paperwork (deposit protection, gas safe etc) park up for six months. It puts you in a great position as a buyer.

We're already not in a chain so renting doesn't help us in that way. We're just going to wait and see what comes on after Christmas.

It's very frustrating, the vendors had checked with their insurer before going to market that there would be no issue (not only is it by a river, it's in Somerset), and they assured them there wouldn't be. It was one of the first things we queried with them and the estate agent, and we proceeded on that basis. Unfortunately, when it came down to it, they didn't come through. The vendor's following it up with the insurers and the ABI.
Anyway, at least that anxiety is dealt with!

Could you really not commute an hour away or is a further journey on top of that. I commute 90 mins each way, it's not great but short term could it work?

I don't commute at all (SAHM)
My H is working another 30 mins away from where we're moving to, so it'll be 90 mins each way. The problem is that he has chronic back problems, and driving exacerbates it. So we don't know how he'll cope with it, even short term. We were assuming he'd have to commute for a couple of weeks but will see how it goes once he's actually started.
Good news is that a house has come on today which has potential so I'm viewing that this week.

I'd still say - if you are used to a modern house then please buy a similar one. You'll see - you won't get as anxious about the move at all. Good luck!

Thanks! We lived in a period house prior to this one so we have some idea of the challenges it brings. My ideal would be a newly built house built in a proper Georgian style, with double-glazed, wooden sash windows.

Hope the new house is the right one!
Alternatively, can your dh rent a small place just for himself during the week till you find something good? Not ideal, but might work as a temporary solution.

That's exactly the situation we're moving to get away from leftovermonster. He's been doing that for the last 5 years (at a job much further away) we just can't face any more.