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Original poster

Living in a doer upper with a toddler - tell me it will be ok!

17 replies

WhereIsMyGin · 23/04/2014 21:06

We've just moved to a doer upper, first time buyers so a bit inexperienced with the whole property maintenance thing.

It needs new flooring throughout, walls stripped, probably skimmed and repainted, bit of damp sorting and a new boiler. For starters. That might not sound daunting for some of you more experienced home owners but for us it does.

I am mostly dreading doing all this work with a toddler running around. Please tell me it'll all be ok! Or alternatively tell me your horror stories so I can feel like I'm not alone.

OP posts:

Beaverfeaver2 · 23/04/2014 21:23

It'll be ok!

It will be stressful at times, but think just how perfect it will be when you have finished it.

Think of how much work you would have put in to make it your own

Think of how you haven't wasted money paying for someone to have done it all and for you to be paying the premium on that

Think of it as you are teaching your toddler a good lesson in life that things aren't always perfect straight away and sometimes you need to work at it

Think of all the mess he can make in the mean time and it not even matter

lulupeg · 23/04/2014 21:37

It will be ok! We did it, we lived in it throughout, it was hideous at times (all sleeping in the lounge as nowhere else habitable for a few nights). I had a 4 week old and 2.5 year old, SAHM so no childcare. It was crazy but doable. We did everything you say plus loft conversion incl bathrrom, walls down, walls up, gardens, front door, new kitchen, loads of carpentry, total redecoration, loads of plastering and a myriad of other jobs.

Spreadsheet, lots (and lots) of trips out and get it done as quickly as you can afford! We are so happy with the way it turned out. Fingers crossed it has financially set us up for the future too. I did feel guilty about the chaos but I don't think our toddler really cared, it was more us that hated it! I also think we did it at such speed and in a state of mild panic BUT we made some really good decisions, it really focuses your mind and I'm v proud of the style we managed to inject into what was a really crappy house when we started it and which now we proudly show to friends and family, knowing we did it!

Strength and good luck to you!

Artandco · 23/04/2014 21:41

Get one room done first so you have a safe place to leave him/ nap/ eat/ sleep etc..

Pay for membership to zoo/ farm/ swimming if near to get out when needed. Swimming good as can shower at same time when you have none!

Ubik1 · 23/04/2014 21:42

We are always living in a building site. DP will not buy a house that is not in a state of disrepair. As soon as he has done it up, we buy a new one.

Sigh

My advice, having had 3 children, is not to forget family time. The DIY can wait. The redecorating can be done gradually. Enjoy your high days and holidays. Don't spend them at B&Q

lulupeg · 23/04/2014 21:48

Totally agree re don't waste weekends at B&Q - we realised we were falling into a rut of this and cramming errand upon errand in, particularly when all the major work was pretty much done, crap for all of us. So now we have very small, realistic job lists each weekend - like put up 2 pictures, or choose new bedding, that's it. Any more and it takes over.

poocatcherchampion · 23/04/2014 21:56

its fine! we've got a baby as well as a toddler. toddler thinks she can wield a screwdriver and hammer pictures up as well as paint. its great fun!

SarahBeenysBumblingApprentice · 23/04/2014 22:12

We have a doer upper that needed a full cosmetic overhaul plus repairs. We're going for the doing it slowly option, partially as we have to save up for each bit and partially so as not to waste every weekend on the house. When we moved in we had DS who was 18 months and I was seven months pregnant with DD! Before she was born we'd had the fireplace renovated, a wall knocked down and the windows done.

You will be fine whatever way you do it, but my advice is to do the work that will make you the most comfortable first - in our case, the double glazing. Getting anything dirty out of the way to start with helps too (knocking down wall etc).

Buy your toddler a toy toolbox!

MoonlightandRoses · 23/04/2014 22:48

Agree with the others - it may actually be fun! (Well, apart from the dust bit when builders are pulling down/putting up walls/electrics/boiler type stuff - that was the only tough element, but only lasted about three weeks). Small child here was adopted by our builders and had great adventures.

We are probably about another six - ten months off finishing too, and it's really not a problem if you're only doing one space at a time. Just close the door at the end of the day and forget about it until whenever...

gracegrape · 23/04/2014 23:42

I've been living in a doer-upper for the past 3 months with a 4 year old and a 1 year old. It's been stressful for me but they couldn't care less. Young children are very adaptable. Definitely get all the messy stuff done first. We had all new plumbing/boiler/heating while we were living here but chose to move out and stay with family/friends for a couple of weeks while electric works were being done.

gracegrape · 23/04/2014 23:43

I forgot to add, we are using a lot more tradespeople than we might have done before we had children, when we might have done things like tiling ourselves. Having the little ones means one of us always has to be looking after them rather than both getting on with DIY.

Original poster

WhereIsMyGin · 24/04/2014 07:15

Thanks I feel a bit better now!

Yes Gracegrape that's one of the things that is making it more difficult, one of us always has to be on baby duty so things take twice as long. We can't really afford lots of tradespeople where we can do the work ourselves so it will just have to wait! No family nearby either to escape to/rope in unfortunately!

OP posts:

MiniatureRailway · 24/04/2014 07:18

It will be ok! I had no stairs and kitchen to speak of and two toddlers at one point!

Think of the end result (as you rock in the corner muttering to yourself). I now have a big, lovely home I wouldn't have been able to afford four years ago when we bought this. It's worth it!

Artandco · 24/04/2014 10:30

Let toddler join in also. Ie if your painting a room white, Jo harm in letting him paint on one wall in white also with little brush ie drawing. You will do a few coats of paint anyway so first coats ok if he 'helps'

Maybe get him some kids tools so he can 'help' fix his own things also.

A beanbag is good. When all else fails and not very safe he learns he has to sit on beanbag, with picnic lunchbox and books. Gives you half hour roughly if you both need to do something ie help each other lift/ pass stuff if high up.

If you have a garden make it safe first, add sandpit ad buckets and hopefully he will spend lots of time digging!

OldBeanbagz · 24/04/2014 10:41

It'll be fine. I've done it twice and DD's first words were not Mummy or Daddy but Bang, Bang, Bang!

The only thing i'd say is if you're taking the stairs out, make sure you have some way of getting to the bathroom

Oh and don't move the in-laws in for 4 months just as you take the kitchen out!

Spindelina · 24/04/2014 11:08

It'll be fine. I've lived in a doer upper for 5 years. We got it structurally sound, warm and dry, decorated a few rooms, then had a baby. We're now working on decorating the other rooms with a toddler.

50shadesofmeh · 24/04/2014 16:46

I did it with a 6 month old And a 3 year old , very hard going but we are nearing the end now and so glad we did it.

CommanderShepard · 24/04/2014 16:53

It's manageable. We renovated our office over the weekend and took turns to look after 23mo DD while the other one worked, and we both worked during naps and after bedtime.

I totally agree with letting him help - my friends' DCs helped with our living room and you can't tell a portion of the wall was painted over and over and over by a 4yo

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