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Original poster

How did you know the house you bought was 'the one`?

48 replies

Willow33 · 17/07/2013 14:18

More the one that was right for you...
We are looking and there isn't a huge amount of properties on the market in the area we are looking in. However there is one which dh likes because of the potential to extend and do a rent-a-room. We need to do this to enable me to work
part time. It does tick a lot of boxes but I am not sure in my heart. Dh says I need to think whether my concerns are valid - house on road with a bus route and ex local authority houses opposite which don't look nice (yes am a bit of a snob). Also storage in our bedroom minimal due to being in the roof and a dormer extension a bit too expensive considering other work we need to do.
So how did you know your place was where you would be happy? How did you know?

OP posts:

Snowgirl1 · 17/07/2013 14:39

I think we looked at so many houses (about 50) that I'd got to the point that I was more willing to compromise as I knew we weren't going to be able to find a house that we both loved that we could afford. I don't love our house, but it's a practical house that ticked all our requirements except 'attractive good looking house' (it's a 1970s box).

Can you keep looking? It might make you understand what really are deal breakers for you. A bus route wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, but a busy road would. Ex-local authority houses would put me off a bit if they didn't look nice, but if everything else was ticked on my list I'd probably live with it and just get some wooden venetian blinds to block the view!

Youhaventseenme · 17/07/2013 14:42

When you walk up the path, and into the house and the first thing you say to yourself is that is where my Christmas tree is going. Or is that just me ??

Pootles2010 · 17/07/2013 14:45

Yes agree we were same as Snow, it was the practical choice, just didn't have anything wrong iyswim?! It's done us well.

I honestly thing you need the practical things to be there when you buy it, then you make it your 'home' - add the bits you love yourself. It becomes your home by you living in it.

I do that youhavent - but i do it with every house . I want our next house to have a big bay window in front for that very reason...

SweetHoneyBeeeeee · 17/07/2013 14:51

My husband told me. Seriously. He loved it so much that I could never have said no. I wanted a detached, older house with period features...we bought a terraced new build. It is georgian style though

I knew we could live there for at least ten years and be happy. It is closer to his family, my work and a great place to bring up kids (good area, good schools and lots of outdoor space), so pretty much ticked every box, except old and detached. And 98 out of 100 is pretty good. Plus I could never have said no to dh once he'd seen it

Youhaventseenme · 17/07/2013 14:52

My last two houses have had huge bay windows for that very reason.

Shallow ?? Moi ??

chickensaresafehere · 17/07/2013 14:53

When we walked into the extended kitchen,the house was already in he area we wanted,but all the others we had viewed were small.
This one ,well ,I walked in & saw a huge open plan kitchen with patio doors onto the garden & thought 'this will be mine' & it is & I love it!!

bigTillyMint · 17/07/2013 14:55

When we parked up outside it It was just a gut feeling though we had seen a few (maybe 10? all similar London Vic terraced) before, including the one next door which needed loads of work and our NDN's bought!

tomatoplantproject · 17/07/2013 14:56

My husband told me. It was a complete wreck though and he is an architect and could see something in it. He was right!! We did compromise though - the garden is a bit too small and we will outgrow it when we have another child, so it's not our forever house.

bigTillyMint · 17/07/2013 14:57

Are you looking for a house for life, OP? If so, it has to be a gut reaction

Original poster

Willow33 · 17/07/2013 15:01

Mmmm...you see I feel I need to 'love' it! This is cos I have never liked the flat I live in now (8 years). Due to managing agents and previous neighbour hassle. Flat itself is nice though. Dh says its a question of attitude. I like the Christmas tree thought :-)

OP posts:

Original poster

Willow33 · 17/07/2013 15:05

Yes this is going to be our forever home. We have seen 10 to 12 houses but there are no more on the market in the area we want yet...

OP posts:

Keztrel · 17/07/2013 15:11

I think all the practical stuff needs to be in place first (and that does include whether you like the area - doesn't sound like you're keen), then I just go by gut feeling. With our last house, we looked round about 14, and went back two or three times to a couple of them. But with the one we bought, we didn't even need to go back for a second look, we put in an offer that same day. I'm with you - if the thought of the house and its surroundings doesn't make you happy/comfortable, keep looking. Your DH sounds a bit too focused on the one aspect he's pleased with.

DaisyBD · 17/07/2013 15:16

I think it's more a case of being 'a' one than 'the' one. Like knowing whether a man is 'the' one. In my experience, it's less a question of knowing than deciding. We were lucky when we were buying last year that we saw two that we really liked - the one I loved, that I fell in love with, we ended up not getting, and I was gutted. I'd told DH that I would literally DIE if we didn't get it. Funnily enough, I didn't die, and now I love the house that we did get (which was the other one of the two, and I had pretty much loved it when we first looked at it).

On the other hand, I moved into my DH's house after we got married, in the hope that I would come to love it, or at least tolerate it, and I never did. Even after all the F&B tartification. I'm so glad we don't live there now. So while I think you may not ever know if a house is 'the' one, you do have to trust your gut instinct.

Original poster

Willow33 · 17/07/2013 15:25

Yes dh wants me to be happy but said we have to be careful and not get into debt with all my ideas of work that needs doing it (it is @ the top of our budget) We are off to see it again shortly so will let you know my thoughts.
Pls continue with your replies - helps!

OP posts:

DaisyBD · 17/07/2013 15:31

I would listen very carefully to DH about debt and potential work. The house I really loved needed a LOT of work - it was already at the top of our budget - someone said to me, do you really want to spend the next five years of your life doing DIY every single weekend? Every evening? That house was amazing, a huge rambling Victorian ex-pub with eight bedrooms and a massive cellar, original features everywhere and nooks and crannies and a trapdoor to the cellar for the barrels.

It also needed a new roof, new floorboards, it had holes in the ceilings and walls, an ancient redfyre range cooker, old wiring and wires sticking out of walls. The previous owners simply couldn't afford to fix it up, and we wouldn't have been able to either. In the end someone offered more than we did, and we bought our Plan B. But the other buyers subsequently pulled out (apparently when it became clear that at least £100k was required just to make it liveable) and the estate agents tried to sell it to us again. But we'd seen sense by then - at least I had - DH had always had very grave reservations about it. I am sooooooo glad we didn't get carried away with the romance of it all, and that we bought the sensible option (which as I said, I love).

Good luck! You do have to go with your heart but try to let your head have a say too.

MrsApplepants · 17/07/2013 15:53

Our deal breakers were off road parking, min 3 beds, kitchen big enough to eat in, not new build and not on a busy road. We also had to stick strictly to budget. We just didn't view anything that didn't fit this criteria. Deep down though, I always wanted to live in a pretty cottage in very pretty surroundings so when a cottage came up (finally) that met our criteria and is indeed very pretty, it seemed like fate. Stepped in through the door and knew this was my house. I love it here and am never moving! Trust your gut, would be my advice and never buy a house that doesn't excite you.

veggrower · 17/07/2013 15:54

DS has just bought first house with fiance. They had a number of things on their wish list, but knew that they were unlikely to get all of these with their budget in this area. Also, they knew it was not going to be their "forever house", (hate that term, but a good description).
They found a house, and knew at once it was "the one" at this point in their lives, as had a lot of their wish list things, ie garage, upstairs bathroom, not on a busy road, near to station, and could potentially make money over 5 years, as previously had an elderly lady living there, and was very very dated.
Incidently, is an ex LA house, however, the surrounding houses all look well kept with nice gardens, and the area looked nice, so the snob factor was overcome. Therefore, when considering wether it is "the one", does it meet your needs at this point in your lives, does it have as many things on your wish list as possible, and most importantly, could you enjoy living there.

SixPackWellies · 17/07/2013 15:57

we looked at a zillion houses, all the same, all typical, Victorian.

This one, backs onto a cemetery... green space, and I like cemeteries anyway.

But it was the only one that had an outlook of green (plus some stone...) not an outlook of other people's bathrooms.

I insisted.

SixPackWellies · 17/07/2013 15:58

At the core though- it is a gut feeling.

SixPackWellies · 17/07/2013 15:59

Oh, and when we bought this one... it is a wreck. I walked in, did a cursory walk around, walked out. DH had already seen it, and was not with me. You could see the EA and the vendor (who was there) deflate as it was so fast.

I was in for about 90 seconds. Walked out, rang Dh and said 'That one'.

MummytoMog · 17/07/2013 16:29

I knew ours was fine. It wasn't the one. But I walked into it and could immediately see how we could live in it. It was just about in our price range, in a nice little cul de sac and there was a massive park over the road. I rang DH and told him that I thought we should buy it and he agreed - didn't even want to view. I made him view and he was won over by the little garage that we subsequently turned into his office.

I've seen THE ONE. And if I win the lottery before it sells, I'm buying it, I don't even need to view it, I get a heart ache every time I look at the pictures on RightMove.

middleagedspread · 17/07/2013 16:54

I knew with 5 minutes.
We've been looking for 5 years.
It ticks almost every box but will mean a lot of financial sacrifice over the next few years. I feel sure it'll be worth it.
I was discussing with DH what we can do with the garden when he retires in 25 years.

Jan49 · 17/07/2013 18:24

I never felt like that about a house I've bought but I've twice bought houses and eventually grew to love each one.

With the first house, we just thought we liked the house and it was a relief after viewing lots of houses that were too small. With the second house, we were desperate and there were very few houses on the market and we hesitated over it for a while because of the work that needed doing. It was more a case of being the best we could find with not enough others to choose from. If I could time travel I'd tell myself not to buy it, hold on for something better, but it was a nice house. I actually did have a particular road that I set my heart on but despite there being about 6 houses for sale there, none was the right house at the right price.

I think the house for you just has to tick enough of your boxes of what it needs and to feel reasonably right. I don't think I'd buy a house if it ticked the boxes but somehow I didn't like it. But it doesn't need to be one you fall in love with instantly.

littlecrystal · 17/07/2013 19:10

My house ticked the boxes and I made an offer instantly. It is a good house, still ticking boxes, but it is not "the one" and no matter how much I upgrade it, it will never be.

Now trying to buy a much smaller, characterless house that needs a complete refurbishment, so it is lots of compromise, but although I am not instantly sure it feels like it could be the one.
Surprisingly it had two other offers on the day I decided to offer and my offer is not the highest :(

noisytoys · 17/07/2013 19:11

It was the 1 only flat in my budget in the right area for the right price so I bought it. I don't love it but I'm grateful to own it, it's a good first step on the ladder.

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