Lovely house for sale, but picture 11 made me pmsl

[TerribleTantrums]

Way out of my price range but near my friend's house so I had a look out of curiosity. I bet those sign-post things cost a fortune but it would have to go if it was my house. Here. I mean, really, how likely is anyone to get lost and need direction in less than an acre?

i think the signpost is the best feature tbh

it all looks a bit staged for my liking, a bit too new

It is new-ish. It was built during the Celtic Tiger, they finished it after the economy went to shit but it was never lived in. Now that the market is beginning to recover a bit there are quite a few of this type of expensive newish build coming onto the market. They do tend to have a show-house look generally, but I think this one would be quite nice when softened with my style of interior design, you know, knee-deep in plastic tat and small chocolatey hand-prints on the wall.

Money just can't buy taste.
Awful monstrosity

terrible you sound like you might know the location did you grow up down the road like I did

Is it just me, or does the blurb about it read like it was written by someone for whom English is not their first language?

That first picture with lights makes it look like a pub!

I've just re-read your OP and see that it's near your friend's house, scratch my question!

Also re the blurb - I thought epicurean was something to do with food, not houses?!

Nearby OnTheBottom but at a higher altitude. Same parish. Love your name BTW.

iseenodust snap

What made me pmsl is that almost all the pics are from the outside. With just one of empty stairs and hall, one of a huge bedroom with a bed bunged over in one corner,and a library with all the books higgledy-piggledy on the shelves like someone just knocked them all over.

No pics of the kitchen, other bedrooms,bathrooms etc etc. Bizarre. Unless the seller ran out of money and these rooms are not finished..... after they spent all their money on the landscaping!

I hate the stair spindles with a passion they look like cast iron garden furniture.

What a triumph of money over taste.

"Here guests will contentedly meander through the 1.5 acres of grounds, along 250 metres of brookside paths (nocturnally illuminated) observing trout scurrying for cover in the pristine waters."

hahaaaaaahaaah...trout scurrying. Have you ever seen a trout scurry? No but I've eaten a king fish curry.

Oh good lord! And it's lit up like a high security prison.

Thank you, I need a change of username and now I have so many to choose from. Yongreeneggsandnaiceham

I want to sort those bookshelves out.

wonky, yes, exactly.

The signpost is hilarious. In fact the whole thing is. Yet again proof that having money is no guarantee of good taste

Hilarious! I read 'meeting of yon waters' as 'meeting of yon wankers' .

I've just read the full description which is very entertaining. What I want know is, WTH is a 'vacuum system'? is it some sort of magical hoovering device?

Could they have done anything more to make the bedroom looks the coldest most unattractive/unappealing bedroom ever?

and the horrid cheap internal doors - yuk. My favourite bit is the EAs blurb. Hilarious.

xigris, a central vacuum system is like a very powerful hoover fixed in one location, with ducts throughout the house. You plug a hose, sometimes with a powerhead, into the ducts. The central vac does the sucking, the dust is filtered to a container, and the exhaust air is vented outside.

Quite common over here, and not that expensive (about $1200, say £700, for a cheap system). Because the business part of the "hoover" is fixed in one location, the motor can be very heavy and powerful, and the external exhaust keeps the air in the house cleaner.

What a bizarrely presented house. My favourite bit is about the "bouquet of the shrubbery delighting the senses". Yes. I just love the smell of...shrubs.

I hadn't actually read the blub, I never really do. It is bad, isn't it? They must have got an office junior to do it, or somebody's wife who fancies herself as a romantic novelist

I would have worries about a house that had never been lived in, especially empty for four or five years and then tarted up. I would imagine that it's never had a proper snagging procedure, because you often don't realise that something is wrong until you are living there and using things.

There's a weird lack of photos of inside the house. And too many of the ornamental bridge.