Re-writing the agent's blurb - anyone fancy helping me?

[alicethehorse]

I'm having a go at rewriting the blub (because I can! Housenetwork make it really easy for you to tinker with it).

I'm not significantly changing it, mostly making it easier to read (I hope).

Here's the original

So what do you think?

Key features:

• No Chain, Vacant Possession, Share of Freehold
• Spacious accommodation, Patio garden
• Period features, Newly renovated, Parks nearby
• Minutes from Hackney Downs station (fast link to the City)

Full description:

Housenetwork.co.uk are pleased to offer this very spacious one bed lower ground floor flat, offered chain free with a share of the freehold.

The property is a charming Victorian conversion, benefitting from a sizeable lounge with bay windows and a bedroom with original Victorian doors leading to the delightful patio garden. The rooms are large enough that either room could be arranged as the bedroom or lounge.

Newly renovated, it benefits from a beautiful real granite floor in the kitchen and brand new carpets with a 7 year guarantee.

It boasts its own entrance, some original Victorian features, great storage, residents parking and gas central heating: combi boiler.

This large property measures approximately 614ft2.

Excellent transport links to the City via Hackney Downs and to the tube network via Hackney Central.

Plenty of green space on the doorstep: under two minutes from Hackney Downs park and under ten minutes to the wild open spaces of the River Lea and Hackney Marshes.

Great amenities at nearby Clapton Pond include thriving local stores, an organic shop and cafe, Tesco local, take aways and the newly-opened Clapton Hart pub which serves excellent food.

Other nearby amenities include an ice rink, rowing club, golf course and a horse riding centre on the marshes. Also a swimming pool, Hackney Empire and two independent cinemas are within easy reach.

Clapton is becoming more fashionable by the second; it's an area firmly on the up, with a steady stream of new independent shops, cafes and pubs opening over the last few years. It borders the uber-trendy Dalston with its exciting nightlife, the ever popular Stoke Newington with great shops, parks and restaurants and Central Hackney with a range of useful shops and amenities.

LOUNGE 16'10 x 14'6 (5.13m x 4.43m)
Spacious lounge with bay window to front, decorative feature fireplace set in surround and cast iron, two radiators.

BEDROOM 12'1 x 13'0 (3.69m x 3.96m)
Large bedroom. Radiator, fitted carpet, glazed double doors leading to outside patio.
Alternatively, this room could be used as the living space, creating an ideal inside/outside entertaining area.

OUTSIDE
Rear
Enclosed private rear garden with a variety of mixed plants.

KITCHEN 6'11 x 8'6 (2.10m x 2.59m)
Fitted with a matching range of base and eye level units with round edged worktops, stainless steel sink unit with mixer tap, wall mounted concealed gas combination boiler serving heating system and domestic hot water, plumbing for washing machine, built-in electric fan assisted oven, built-in four ring gas hob with extractor hood over, window to rear, solid granite tiled flooring.

BATHROOM
Fitted with three piece suite comprising panelled bath with hand shower attachment and folding glass screen wall mounted wash hand basin with cupboard under close coupled WC heated towel rail, wall mounted mirror, tiled flooring.

ENTRANCE HALL
Fitted carpet, double doors to two large storage cupboards, doorway to kitchen.

btw - I'm worried that the description of the area bit too long - although that's one of it's selling points as the area is becoming fashionable (this is a new thing!)

hopeful bump

I think it's really good - better than 99.9% of the agents blurbs out there!

Couple of suggestions

• large bedroom. Change to airy/well proportioned/bright/welcoming as 'large' is just descriptive of the dimensions you already have there (and actually, outside london, a 13ft sq bedroom isn't really 'large' !)

• first sentence of the last paragraph about clapton sounds as though you are trying a leetle too hard to convince buyers it's an up and coming area, which might raise suspicions that it's still got a way to go! I can't work out how to rephrase it though - maybe something like 'Fashionable Clapton is well regarded as an area firmly on the up....

• if you are worried about too much text you could prob delete the bit about ice rink, horse-riding, golf club, rowing club. Keep the Cinema mentions though.

• is it worth pointing out the transport journey times to the city/west end (if they are good?)

I think it's good but you go too OTT and need to calm it down by about 25%

Eg.

If you have resident's parking then presumably you have to pay for this - and usually (in London) it's rather expensive, so not sure that's a 'boast.'

I'd lost the line about 'this large property' - it isn't really, it's one bedroom.

I'd also lose all the stuff about the pub serving nice food and Clapton being on the up - sounds a bit amateur.

Can you mention schools? ie 'in catchment area for the highly rated St Bollocks primary school'