Think I have made big mistake with house stuff and have upset Dh

[oneofsuesylvesterscheerios]

dont even think this goes in Property/DIY - needs to be in a cross between Relationships, Furniture and Bereavement !

I've decorated our dining room without consulting Dh at all. I am very much aware that this is a reaction to my dad dying a few weeks ago -I've been buying stuff and making changes and I realise I'm a bit manic.

We had a big chunky Mexican dining set- table & 6 chairs which Dh loved. But they were enormous and clunky and we only used them at Christmas and I want to start using the dining room much more as a family room. I've broached Dh in the past about getting shut of them but he's always dissuaded me.

Anyway last week I sold the lot for £150 and bought a set from eBay, second hand and smaller, sort of shabby chic stuff.

Dh was a bit but hasn't made a fuss. The reaction of our friends yesterday though when I told them has showed me that I think I've made another stupid mistake (especially at the price I sold our old stuff for) and I think Dh only hasn't said anything because he knows I'm a bit fucked up a bit at the moment.

I know it's pathetic but I think I've upset him and really screwed up as well.

Go easy on yourself - yes, you did the classic manic bereavement thing (I painted my sitting room walls orange after my father died. The carpet was then a sort of hideous dusty pink. It looked like a womb.) but that's understandable and your DH sounds like a very nice man.

Apologise, move on, and your motives were right in any case - much better to have a second family room than an unused dining room.

I'm sorry about your father. It's a shit time for you.

So sorry to hear about your dad

Go easy on yourself. In the context of losing a parent, a bit of impromptu furniture-selling is so not a big deal, and if your DH hasn't said anything then hopefully he understands that.

Ignore the friends.

My friends were fine, bless them. Their mouths were but their eyes were 'shit! She's lost it!'

Thank you. I feel fine some days and then do something like this and realise I'm not right.

Hassled, your post made me laugh. Glad I'm not the only one. My best friend's mum died 3 years ago and my friend went out and got a perm 2 weeks later. We laugh about it now and call it her Cry-For-Help Perm.

Thank you for making me feel not quite so mad.

As you say, your DH understands what you've been going through, and he accepts that's why you sold the furniture. If it's any consolation, my mum did something very similar after my gran died (considerably worse, tbh), and upsetting as it was, we all understood why she did it. At least you actually got some money for the things and replaced them with a more practical set that were more to your taste.

I'm sorry for your loss.