after the longest attempted move in history (civilizations have risen and fallen etc etc), and legions of threads on West Norwood, Penge, Streatham, Crystal Palace, Ladywell etc etc, our search has finally ended (well, nearly- we've had our offer accepted this week, so it's still early days) in Hither Green.
SE13mummy suggested it, and a school, in this thread here
Every time we go to HG we like it more and more- even though most times we've been rained on practically horizontally. DDs and I visited Lee Manor this week and absolutely loved it. We've got over ds's transport to school problems- one bus, all the way there (nearly) and are all cock-a-hoop 
thanks to everyone else who gave us tips along the way- specially the Penge People. Hope all your moves went a bit faster than ours!