please someone tell me what to do

[jollymollie]

Really really want to relocate from the area i'm in at the moment. Have no family or good friends here and want to move nearer to family for the sake of my 2 ds's, 8 and 6. We are very unhappy here although the children are happy with school, friends. Problem is we have a lovely house here and can't move our mortgage onto another property as it was self cert and our credit rating is not good enough to be accpeted again.We have never missed a payment on our mortgage. This means to move to another area we will have to rent. We can't keep this place on and rent it out as we'd need to sell it to pay off debts/afford the move if we decide to go. Would you give up your own home to rent? we are so scared we will sell and regret it and will probably never get back on the property ladder. Please tell me what to do. Me and dh have been going round in circles for ages with this!

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In your shoes I would definitely let out your house and rent another in the area you want to be in.

if you rent out your house you will have to change to a buy to let mortgage.

Not necessarily if you tell the bank they often let people rent out the house fir 12 months whilst you decide what to do.
There will be another oportunity to get back in the ladder you just have to be ready for it with a good deposit and clean credit record, do whatever it takes to achieve this.

I definately won't be able to relocate without selling first. We need to clear the debt we have and will need a decent amount for deposit etc. Cant even think about starting somewhere new while we still owe money that is costing us £250 a month at the moment. The plan would be to put anything we have left in the bank and add to it for a future deposit (just as you have suggested Ishani). Once we have cleared our debt i believe we would have good credit after 6 years? not sure if this is correct. I'm just so scared to go into rented. How will I feel after living in my own house for such a long time? Has anyone gone from owning to renting and how was it? The area we'll be going to will be so much better for us than where we are now though.

We are in a similar position without the debt though, there is no way I would step off the ladder again. We did it once and it will take us 10 years to recoup the losses. If the debts are a major problem I would clear the decks and start again, house prices aren't going anywhere for a while but promise yourself this situation won't happen again you do not want to be renting in your old age.

We say to ourselves that really we shouldn't be in this house at all. We got our mortgage when it was a case of 'how much do you want to borrow, sign here?' It's just a toss up between having a nice house in an area in which we are desperately unhappy or renting somewhere in an area where we will (hopefully) be very happy. That's my main concern Ishani, what happens when you are too old to work and pay your rent? Hopefully we'll own again by then but who knows?

Have you asked the mortgage company if you can move it? We are in a slightly different situation but could transfer it if we wanted. Btw we originally had high saleries but now have self emp income so similar in that respect

We have enquired and although our product is portable our mortgage isn't which means they would want proof of income, credit check etc all over again and we wouldn't stand a chance. If only we could just swap the mortgage onto another property all our problems would be solved. Obviously we would still have an amount of debt but ouir real problem is needing to be near the people we care about. Any renters out there who have any advice?

They are credit checking everyone who wants to transport their mortgage which has been previously unheard of but we wouldn't qualify for our mortgage either now :-(

Please do not make major financial decisions on the basis of being 'unhappy'. Find out what you can do to bloom where you are planted right now, what is keeping you from happiness, from making friends, from feeling at home.

New locations do not magically make anyone happy. Financial/credit problems and the altered living circumstances (renting instead of owning and wondering about ever getting back on the property ladder), plus your children being dislocated from their friends and familiar surroundings will all add their own ingredients for unhappiness.

If you have debts, try to take a bite out of them right where you are. If your lives feel disappointing, work on that, but work at it in the here and now. Don't expect the grass to be greener elsewhere.

I moved from owning to renting after divorce. Didn't want to sell but had no choice, so not the same situation as you. I would prefer to own. I like my own space, my own garden, and not a flat, especially with children. I like to do my own decorating and gardening. My DCs liked to go out their own back door into their own little garden. Luckily, they are all at the same schools. I am a long way from family, but to move closer I would have huge legal/custody complications and there would be upheaval for the DCs. There is really nothing holding me here except the DCs' school and friends (their whole lives in other words) and the prospect of fighting with exH to move them with me.

Thank you for your posts mathanxiety, very thought provoking. On the one hand my instinct is to keep the children where they are as they are so happy and secure, on the other I'm yearning to be somewhere I love near the rest of my family. When I say family I mean one of my adult children and grandchildren. I feel it is so important for my two little ones to see their extended family on a regular basis as where we are at the moment they don't see any. I also live in an area with very poor employment prospects for the dc's and the area I wish to move to offers them more opportunity. Oh I just wish someone would come and make the decision for me. Thing is if we are going to move we need to do it sooner rather than later as they get older it will get even more difficult to relocate. Help!

I'd move, especially if you and your husband are likely to be able to get better jobs in the preferred area.

One last thought, would any of your family be able to guarantee your mortgage which might make moving it more of a likelihood?

Good idea lalalonglegs but there is no-one in a position to do that unfortunately. I know I would move without hesitation if we could buy in our preferred area so that makes me think the real problem is going from owning to renting. Once we've sold there will be no going back.

Renting may feel like a step backwards financially but if it means wiping out a big debt as well, it might be worth it. Not paying #250 per month on the debt would be a relief and, if you have any equity after the move and clearing your finances, you can start saving again.

Are rents reasonable in your preferred area? You could try negotiating a 2 or 3 year lease to give you a bit of security while you get yourself sorted out and reassess at the end of that.