need opinions please. really don't know what to do!

[blackmonday]

We moved up north from down south over ten years ago now. We have a lovely home but live in an area that we have never been happy in. There is little chance for my children to have a good future here as there are no jobs and it is a seasonal seaside town. Since here we have got into debt and are now on a dmp so if we sell our house we would not get another mortgage and would have no prospect of owning our own home again. We REALLY want to move back down south but would have to rent. My children lOVE their home and the eldest is 7 and really settled in school. She is a highly sensitive child who i know would HATE having to move schools. I know people say kids adjust but dd1 is very much like me and i had to move schools when i was her age and remember spending the first week at my new school with my head on the desk, not speaking to anyone. i really don't want to put her through that! Really don't know what to do and am very scared to give up my home to rent. (i have never missed a mortgage payment). Please help

I'm sorry, I'm not sure what a dmp is but am assuming it affects your credit rating. You say that you don't like the area you live in but "up north" is a very big place - is there somewhere else you can move in the region that offers better prospects but won't be as expensive as moving back to the south? But, if there isn't this option, what do you think is going to be so much better about relocating to the south?

You may be projecting your own memories of changing school onto your daughter, she may be more adaptable than she thinks. Your children are still young and while the security of your own home is a wonderful thing, it's not too late to start again if you think moving will turn things round for you and them.

hi, thanks for the reply. We have always been homesick as were born and bred in the south of england and yearn to go back. There is nothing wrong with the north at all and there are some lovely places but we live in Blackpool which is not a very nice place to live. To move would mean we would have to rent wherever we go as a dmp is a debt mangement plan and has completely messed our credit rating up. If we did relocate it would only be back to somewhere we know we like. You are right dd1 might adapt to moving schools but she is very shy and sensitive and I really worry about this.

Right just popping in, I used to be a regular on here and someone on FB told me about this thread.

We left Blackpool about 3 years ago, we sold our house and went through a really tough time financially. It cost us all our savings and I did think we were going to go under.

We owned a house up north and now rent, we will be able to buy again next year but for a while I thought we would be renting for the rest of ourlives.

I think you have to live in Blackpool to understand how grim it is and I could not wait to escape. My dd has had a lot of change in her life and I worried myself sick about moving her and that I would emotionally scar her. She is now so much happier down south and says all the time how glad she is that we moved.

I taught in Blackpool schools and knew what my dd had waiting for her at secondary level and I just could not put her through it.

I would say I would rather rent anywhere than live in Blackpool. Our quality of life has improved tenfold and that is worth more than any amount of equity.

Good luck with your decision.

I live in a very rough area of the North west.

We have lived in Norfolk and Lincolnshire each time we have ended up coming home- the thing is sometimes when you move away the place you have left becomes something it really isnt in your memory - I lived in a beautiful part of Norfolk right on the broads it was idyllic - of course whilst i was there I missed the familiarity of 'home' and when the chance came to move back I did - with hindsight it was not the right move.

At the moment you cant move you cant afford to move so I think you need to look at some positives in the area that you do live and make the most of it until the chance arises for you to move.

My nanna used to tell me about the downfall of being a 'malcontent' you wish your life away wanting this.

poppingin - i know who you are and im so glad things are going good for you x

I knew that people would know who I was that is quite touching.

nickschick I spent years trying to find something positive in Blackpool. I spent years trying to make my part of Blackpool a nicer place. It just made me miserable.

We moved at completely the wrong time, we bought in a boom and sold in a crash. We lost everything financially but it was worth it.

We moved from Gloucestershire to Blackpool 6 years ago! Although we wouldn't move and are much happier here to be honest. It sounds like you won't be happy until you move back. Will you be able to afford the move back south? We are a lot better off living up North, jobs haven't been a problem. Are you in a huge amount of debt and is this going to get worse by moving?

Could you have a plan to get yourselves back on track financially by the time your eldest goes to Secondary school then move? It's only 4/5 years and if you have a target to work towards it might make it a bit more bearable.

Hey, it's not so bad when the suns out

Hi Poppingin! Wondered if you ever sold your house, are you no longer MNing??

Yes we sold our house - it took a year and a lot of heartache. And we sold it at a loss. We have been saving hard, in three years have cleared every penny of debt and we are now saving for a deposit to buy down here.

I don't MN anymore have not done so for a while. It just stopped being fun which was the whole point.

blackmonday can I ask why you made the move to Blackpool in the first place?

Can you afford to live in a more expensive area ? If you have had financial problems where you are and now have dmp that suggests you've lived beyond your means. Rents tend to cost more than mortgages so you'd probably need to downsize and risk less "good" areas for schools and so on. What about finding work in a new area?

A 7yr old would adapt but I'd suggest you clear your current debts - do you both work? - before making such a move. Your 10 year old memories may be a little rosy, especially as you haven't lived anywhere else as a family. If you take your current financial problems with you you may not find a happy solution.

Great news! Sounds like it's going really well, so pleased for you xx

blackmonday, also, if you haven't already go on MSE and get some debt/employment advice.

Glad it has worked out for you poppingin, just realised who you were !

thanks for the advice. We moved here to be near a family member who was unwell but has sadly passed away. Poppingin, so glad you are happy with your decision. Some people love blackpool but it is certainly not for everyone and I do worry about the opportunities for my children when they grow up.obviously our financial situation could certainly do with improving before moving but there is the opportunity for us to earn more down south.

also by selling we will be able to clear our debts. I am just very worried about losing the security of owning our own home.

How flexible are your jobs in terms of location? Do either of you count as keyworkers (and could therefore qualify for help with housing)? If you could clear your debts by selling and you don't like Blackpool (I remember poppingin and how much she hated it; my FIL left at 18 has never been back so it's obviously one of those places), then I would say move and start again.

I would think very carefully about the keyworker scheme, we looked into it as we just qualify. Really as a second time buyer you are not eligible but as we had been renting for some time a scheme accepted us. However the houses were overpriced and the tories are ending many of the schemes. We have decided to wait another year and buy somewhere nicer.

People who recognise me will know that we had a very difficult time after moving, infact a mumsnetter had to help me out so I could put food on the table. However I know we made the right decision. Every day dp and I squeeze each others hands with delight at where we live. We are proud of our new county and have made some great friends.

Whenever I go back to Blackpool ( I have only done it once as I hate it so much) I am struck by how dirty, run down and depressing it is. It is full of people who hate it and "one day " will leave. I am glad that we are one of the people who escaped.

From a schooling point of view it is in real trouble, the new build budget has been pulled for some schools. There is a lot of uncertainty over the future of some of the schools. From a kids point of view I just don't think it is a nice or safe place to grow up. Highest teenage pregnancy rate, shocking amount of child prostitution and sex abuse. Big drug problems and a lack of aspiration.

I woudl rather be skint and in a rented house somewhere I felt proud to live than comfortable and in my own property in Blackpool.

poppingin I "know" you too, so glad things are much better now.

I've been to blackpool a few times over the last 10 years, I'm from "up north", I wouldn't want to live there either certainly wouldn't want to have teenagers there!

Thanks.

I taught teenagers, so as I said I knew what my dd had waiting for her. I have taught in many schools, including Teaching in the schools there also took its toll on my health. I needed to put my family first.

never been to blackpool so cant answer that one.

however, in the last recession, we sold at a loss to move knowing we wouldnt be able to buy another house for 3 years ( dh went self employed)

i cried with joy when i realised we no longer had a mortgage.

seriously if you are on a debt repayment plan and by selling you could clear your debts what are you waiting for? surely the sooner you clear your debts, the sooner you will be able to buy again. You only get the one life dont spend it somewhere you hate.

make a proper plan and start working towards it!

thanks so much for the advice. poppingin, what you say about blackpool is exactly how we feel. I worry so much about my daughter's futures if brought up there. We are actually in one of the 'nicest' areas and in the catchment for the best schools but they will still be socialising in blackpool when they are old enough. I am just so scared to get off the property ladder. It's not just the debt but the fact that dh is self employed and the mortgage we got was a self cert. We just know that it would be impossible for us to get another mortgage so it would be long term rent.

We have recently returned from a visit down south and seeing Blackpool Tower approaching on the M55 filled me with dread . That's not good at all is it?

I wonder if we were in the same area. I used to say to dp that if we never left our little part of Blackpool if would be OK! We used to dread going into town as it was full of strip joints, women in their underwear standing on the streets promoting bars and pissed aggressive groups. Even though we were in a nice area my dd bought home a syringe she found on the green.

I miss my house , it was our first buy together and there are times I miss that feeling of ownership. I guess you have to consider the self cert issue, that was something that did not apply to us . To be blunt I would rather live in a rented house forever than live here

As a teacher the difference is immense. Generally the kids are healthier, happier, better behaved and do better in school. Even though I teach in a school that loses some of it's brighter students to a grammar the pace and level of work is much greater down here. As a teacher I have had to up my game considerably. I also notice a difference in aspiration here. At my old school the odd child wanted to be a journalist or lawyer. Here they want to do everything from being research scientists to sailing the world to being diplomats and doctors.

I hate Blackpool town and rarely go there any more if I can help it which is difficult if we need anything we can't buy in Tesco! Myself and dh are going to sit down later and really have a serious discussion about what to do for the best. Do you mind me asking whereabouts you moved to poppingin? We are originally from South London but would like to move somewhere between London and nearer the South Coast. DH can continue to be self employed in any area and I only have a basic part time admin job which only pays just over minimum wage so fairly easily replaceable.

I do feel for you. I live in Cambridge, which is a lovely city but I'm not feeling happy either. We moved out of London to get a better quality of life but have been renting for two years (in Rugby and Cambridge) despite having equity from our sale as the prices in these counties and others we researched are beyond belief (and recession). Any decent family house is priced really high, even in less desirable locations.

In the past years, prices have gone down in various parts of London. We used to live in Walthamstow and there are some 'bargains' to be had now if you go by the sold prices. The same can be said for Bromley and other areas of London we looked at. Rightmove has a very handy feature that allows you to see asking prices of sold houses by postcode so you can work out how much they really sold for.

Have a look on rightmove and on houseprices.co.uk and you will be surprised how much cheaper some areas of London are. I'm working on my DP to go back.