NZ move to UK Schooling - When is best to transition?

[KaiteriteriSummer]

Hello, we are Kiwi's who have British citizenship and two boys aged 6 (Feb 2020) and 3 (Aug 2023). We previously spent 16 years abroad, with 14 of those years in London, but have spent the past 4 years in NZ. We miss our UK friends/life and would like advice on the best window for moving back. We are currently considering September 2027, for Y3, or waiting until September 2030 when he would start Y6. The NZ school year begins in February, so he would be half a year ahead, however, I have heard that academically the UK is two years advanced! I'm also weighing up the best emotional time for him to move. He's quite a limited eater, which is fine in NZ since children take packed lunches to school, but I worry he may starve when faced with the cafeteria-style lunches in the UK. Equally, if we wait until Y6 he could enjoy a more free-range childhood here, however, I really don't want to miss the boat academically.
NZ schools teach a basic curriculum, but children are not specifically taught languages, instruments, science, history or the arts and certainly not Latin or Greek. I worry he may miss the building blocks for those opportunities if we wait until he's 10.5 y/o while simultaneously making the move to a new country.
I'd really appreciate advice from anyone who's done this move, and from anyone who also has a selective eater at school in the UK, how do you/they support them? Or indeed from more seasoned parents who possess the benefit of hindsight—I'd love to gain from your wisdom! How did you do it, or is there something you wish you'd done differently?
We would be looking for a private school in the UK.
(A bit of background)...
Previously, we lived in SW London; however, we now work remotely, so I'd love to hear from anyone who loves their school, particularly those that value kindness and a nurturing environment, while still providing great academic opportunities. I ask this because, while our 2nd born is battle-hardy and would thrive anywhere, our 1st born is very kind hearted and shy, needing help building friendships. He's reasonably bright (Dad is in tech) and likes robots, but also art, engineering & nature. Since starting school in NZ, his confidence has heartbreakingly been crushed quite a bit, as the boys, at least in his school, tend to favour roughhousing. I'd so love for him to find his tribe and therefore wonder if the UK would be a better fit since academics are valued more - we as parents certainly found it was a better fit for ourselves. We're the kind of people who enjoy watching University Challenge, cosy Autumn walks, history, travel etc. We had a wonderful group of international friends in the UK, many with children the same age as ours, but in comparison, we've found NZ quite isolating socially. Even our family members do their own thing!

This is such a thoughtful post, and I think your concerns about both the academic transition and your son's emotional wellbeing are completely understandable. Personally, I would lean towards moving in September 2027 rather than waiting until Year 6, especially if you feel that the UK would offer a better social and academic environment for your family. Children can adapt remarkably well at this age, and having more time to settle in, build friendships and grow in confidence before the pressure of secondary school seems like a real advantage. I also wouldn't worry too much about the academic gap, as a nurturing school should be able to assess his needs and help him catch up where necessary. With the right school, his love of robots, art, engineering and nature could become wonderful ways to connect with like-minded children. As for his selective eating, I would speak to prospective schools about packed lunch options and how they support children with limited diets before making a decision. Finding a school that values kindness as much as academic achievement sounds like the most important step of all. I hope you find a place where your eldest can feel understood, fun games, make genuine friends and regain the confidence he deserves.

I agree, earlier is likely better, or else time it for the start of secondary. In Y6, they’d make friends and get used to one school, just to then be transitioning to secondary and having to start again.

Maybe opt for a slightly larger school rather than a cosy single track one - it can make finding your tribe easier in my experience.

Don’t worry about food, many children take packed lunches or when they’re older, head to the nearest shops. But school meals are also good at catering for dietary needs.

I think the younger they are the better. Transitioning when he is Y6, and your other son in school would be more disruptive. He will probably have made a good group of friends in NZ and at that stage possibly be quite behind academically, especially the specialist topics you mention.

I am a kiwi living in UK. Friends who have moved back to NZ have commented on how their kids are just "messing around' in school and some have shifted them into private in NZ for a more challenging environment.

With the food, our school offers a main meal eg. Roast, fish & chips, pasta bake as well as a 'plain' option of plain pasta and cheese (with veg on the side) or baked potato with beans and cheese. My son (6) is a good eater and gets on with it, my daughter (4) is a terrible eater but seems to eat the main meals at school! Wish she would at home.

In most U.K. schools the children can choose to take packed lunch.

privates vary but some do insist on school lunch.

my dc also refused to eat school lunch so I sent in substantial snacks for break time. Sometimes they were so substantial they could have been a full lunch!

We moved back nearly 3 years ago. My kids were much older than yours though, being all teens or nearly teens. They did find that UK schools are ahead academically. This might be in part due to the school years not exactly allowing and don’t forget children here in the UK can sometimes start when only just four and all start together rather than the staggered start from starting on their 5th birthday in NZ.
Given the choice I would move to start school from September, from a social point of view it’s easier to transition at the start of a school year. They will soon catch up on most subjects, particularly at a young age.

Honestly yes earlier better but y4 and even y65 would be fine too - I wouldn’t got y6 as there are a lot of v good state schools in London so I wouldn’t rule them out and they start in y7 and you have to apply October of y6

Definitely start of a school year. You've not mentioned much about your DS2 - his August birthday and the fact he is 3 jumped out as being much more of an issue to me to plan for. Starting as the very youngest in the class may be hard on him.

I'd say move sooner rather than later. Much easier for all of you and the suggestion to start school in September is exactly what I would say.

State schools in the UK provide a lunch in reception to year 2 but the child doesn't have to eat it. Some children have a packed lunch for many different reasons.

I don't know of any school that doesn't allow packed lunches.

Don't worry about Latin and Greek, they are rare even at posh private schools.

One thing to consider is to look at the actual school, not just its Ofsted report. A school that looks good on paper may not be the nurturing environment you want. I suggest looking in multicultural areas, many primaries in those areas are used to welcoming new children who don't even speak English.

There was a TV programme about the biggest primary school, I can't find it on YouTube, but I did find the trailer That was Gascoigne, have a look at their website to see typical curriculum and meals. https://www.gascoigneprimaryschool.co.uk/school-lunches

You also need to think about the system you want your children in at secondary. Some areas still have the grammar school system, others may have the odd grammar but mainly comprehensive schools, most are all comprehensive.

Personally I'm not a fan of grammars but others are.

Another thing to note is the attendance policies of English schools (Scotland is different and possibly NI and Wales) they want your child in school unless they are actually dyeing. This is not the school's fault, it is policy and parents can be fined for 'unauthorised absences. I'm just thinking you may want to take your boys to NZ for a holiday and a week isn't long enough.

Oh and RE is compulsory, it has a bigger part in some schools than others.

As a kiwi living in the uk with dc at school here, same age as their cousins in Nz : Nz schools are indeed at least 2 years behind.

By the time they finish school in uk they are doing second year Nz university work for
A level (we have literally compared DD’s a level eng lit work with second year English BA at uni Canterbury in Christchurch). But Nz school is a hell of a lot more fun!!!

packed lunches are fine - that shouldn’t be a consideration.

move sooner rather than later otherwise you will need to keep them back a year (which causes its own problems as things are quite restrictive here)

I have never had a problem taking dc back to Nz for long holidays as they are in private school in uk with ridiculously long holidays. They are only in school about 33 weeks a year!

We moved to SW London from the USA over summer so that our DS’s could start school in the UK at the start of the school year in September. My youngest went into Y4 at a private non-selective Prep school and my oldest went into Y7 at a private (selective) senior school. They both got to go to their new schools in June before term ended so they got an intro to their schools before officially starting in September.

My youngest had a far easier time adapting and settling into UK school than my oldest. The prep school was small and very warm/friendly and gave extra support to get him caught up academically as he was also behind (they start school a year later in the USA than UK) and also one of the youngest in the year as a summer baby. He also was a very picky eater and it took a while for him to get used to the school food - they usually had a couple of options so he usually had something like a cheese roll and fruit, even if it wasn’t the main hot food. The teachers/lunch ladies did keep an eye on him and encouraged him to eat, but it was hit/miss on how much he ate.

If you are considering private secondary school, then I would move earlier rather than later so that you get all the preparation for the 11+ in Y4/5 as they take the entrance exams in the Autumn term of Y6. My oldest didn’t take the 11+ for entering Y7 as he took a variation on the schools entrance tests from the USA so we hadn’t appreciated just how involved the 11+ process was. I think my youngest would have struggled with the 11+ at the start of Y6 if that was when he had moved. If you are going to state secondary school then the 11+ is irrelevant as there are no entrance exams for most schools except for grammar schools. All that to say, I’d think about what kind of secondary schooling you want when thinking about your timeline for moving!

Both my children are settled now and very happy at school here, doing well academically, made lovely friends and they both eat far more varied food than when we lived in the USA!

I would definitely go earlier.
Private schools all do lunch together and the very vast majority of them all eat easily together - kids are fussy at that age.

I’ve moved my kids around a lot and would also suggest that arriving in May/June for the last half of the summer term can be quite a nice way to make the change. Most private schools will be doing very little actual new work at that stage in the year and there will be lots of fun activities going on. It also gives a chance to make some friends to meet up with over the summer. Autumn term is long and quite full-on.