Are private prep schools in SW London (Teddington) vs commuter towns (Sevenoaks / Oxted) more pressured?

[Katerina085]

Hi all,

We are currently living abroad and thinking about where to move back to in the UK with two young boys. We are weighing up the usual commute versus lifestyle trade-off and have narrowed things down to Teddington, or a commuter town in Surrey or Kent, most likely Sevenoaks or Oxted.

We are leaning towards Teddington for various reasons, but one concern we have is what the private prep school environment is like there. We are keen to avoid a highly competitive or pressurised atmosphere. Ideally, we would like our children to attend a nurturing, relatively relaxed prep where they can enjoy their childhood and are not overly focused on exam results.

Is that realistic in the SW London private prep scene, or do schools (and/or parents) there tend to be very results-driven, creating a pressurised environment like I understand there is in some other parts of London? If it is likely to be very pressurised, would a prep in a town like Sevenoaks or Oxted feel materially different, or is the culture broadly similar?

As we are currently overseas, it is hard to get a clear sense of this and I would really appreciate hearing others’ experiences. I would also be grateful for any tips on how families avoid too much pressure on our kids if choosing a SW London prep.

Thanks in advance for any insights 🙏

@Mumdt83 we’ve not looked at that, I don’t know Otford at all. Will look into it. Thanks for the suggestion!

@Clclclclclclclclc we have ruled out anywhere that requires a drive to the station, so had largely discounted Reigate for that reason. Are there nice areas to live close enough to Redhill to walk? On Oxted, we’ve looked at Hazelwood and liked the school, but we are worried about Oxted being too small and “old” for us. What’s your view on the town? Is there much folk going in there? Do you think it would be a nice place to bring up a young family or do you think Reigate or Sevenoaks would be much better? On secondsry schools, all the nearby private schools run busses from Oxted so we aren’t worried about that, we’re just worried about whether we would actually enjoy living there or not!

Just be mindful that a lot of preps are folding and closing with little notice now. You need to look at their roll numbers and ensure they are not falling. The private sector in England is going through extremely challenging times

It’s so personal what is a good place to bring up a family! I personally like the wider range of activities for the children in a bigger place and the ability to live close to school even at secondary level, while still having a really outdoorsy lifestyle. But some people value the connectivity of being closer to London in the suburbs more than the nature. And others are happy to be in the villages with all the space for things like dogs and ponies but spend a lot of time in the car.

There are areas where you can walk or cycle to Redhill station between Redhill and Reigate that are nice enough - but of course it depends on budget/what you want.