Still not happy with new school, but hate to move again

[Sallyssss]

My daughter started her new school and I am just not happy. She has been there a month in reception and she does not seem to do any maths at all. Even her teacher said her reading was great but she couldn't tell me what her maths was like!

There is a really diverse catchment and she is really starting to talk differently - and I know thats just snobbery, but I don't like it. Also, I hear parents swearing at their children in the play ground and I hate it.

On the other hand she has made friends and does seem happy.

We can easily afford private and I am really kicking myself that we did not just put her in a local prep school. But can we move our daughter to her 3rd school by year 1. Just seems so wrong! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Why did you move her from her first school?

And what does it matter what her maths is like at reception level?

We have a little girl in DDs class ( at the end of year 1) now who did reception in Dubai, 1 and half terms at a school in London and 1 and half terms at DDs school. She has coped really well with all the changes, her Mum tells us she struggled to settle in Dubai, settled quite well in London and took to DDs school like a duck to water.
I just really wanted to give you a good story what ever you choose.

I don't think they really call it maths in reception do they? as it's mostly learning through play - I'm sure they're learning important concepts about counting, measuring etc?

I agree on the swearing thing, it's horrible, but your DD will hear it even in the best school IMO, it's just part of life unfortunately

she moved school because she moved house

look sally, go and look at this prep school if you are really concerned and maybe she can even go for a few trial days. Then try and compare them. You could try and keep her current friends by asking themround, getting her to do some activity together with some of these dc perhaps?

I think if you are going to move her,the sooner the better. If you are undecided, you need to know what you have to decide between. If the prep school is nothing great after all, you know to make the most of what you have.

My DD had 3 schools betweeen starting Reception and Xmas of year 1 thanks to hubbys job.

She managed just fine. I treat all our moves as little adventures and a possibility of new things to sample and friends to meet.

Infact both my girls moved school reguarly with no real impact emotionally until they were round 7yo. There on in it became nightmare with tears because of leaving friends etc.

If you are going to move her I would say do it sooner than later before friendship bonds become very strong.

Both my girls have attended both prep and state schools. Just be aware that not all prep schools are wonderful. Do your research first. Go and visit more than once. Speak to other parents who's children attend the school. Ask the school if they can put you intouch with a parent who has children in the school and that have done year 1 there so you can grill have a chat with them.

Before you visit the school - make a list of questions you want to ask. Think about what you feel the shortcomings at your childs present and previous school have been and question the prep school accordingly on this to ensure they dont have the same approach. Also think about what aspects you like about the current school and question the new school on that.

Another good way to get a real feel for a school is to read their newsletters. Some schools have them downloadable from their websites. If not ask the school for a recent one to read. Sometimes when you go and visit these schools they have recent publications of school stuff on table whilst you sit and wait for your appointment. Ask if you can take a copy to read at home.

Alot of prep school break up very soon and some may have already - so call them NOW NOW NOW and get yourself in for a look around whilst there are kids still in the school. Dont panic if they have already broken up. Just ask to go at the start of term. If they have spaces your DD could start just days into the new term if its what you choose (we have done this).

Good luck.

But your daughter's happy. Surely that counts for masses. Wait and see how Yr1 goes as there's time to change later if you want to. There's usually a big change to more formal learning in Year One. I know at DS's school he did barely nothing in reception as they concentrated on the social side.

Why do you want her to do maths in reception? Would you really rather she was sat down with workbooks at 5?

Diverse catchment is good. Swearing at children in playground is bad - does it happen a lot?

Still not happy, but still not sure what to do. I have asked a lot of parents if they are happy with her current school, and although they are, a lot have said that it's not a very academic school!!

Did you not check it out very thoroughly first, having already been disatisfied with one school?

When I was looking for schools I spent much time hanging around outside looking at the parents and children as much as I did inside grilling the Head, and reading Ofsteds!

Also, don't make the mistake of thinking that everyone at private school will be beautifully spoken - they won't, although the standard will be 'naicer' generally.

Some private prep schools are monopolised by rich but common, thick, loud WAG type mothers and their oiky designer-clad children (especially in the London suburbs - not sure where you live) so DO do your research first.

Loved her old school, but we moved into a new area. Read ofsted, and looked around it, but did not realise it's catchment would mean swearing from parents in the playground!!!

Yes, should have hung around the school gates......unfortunately it's something I have learnt too late!!