I don't think I'll be able to pay my next school bill, but I haven't given notice !! What can I do ??

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I'm in a really tricky position at the moment. My daughter is in her last term of reception at a private school.
I had worked on the bank in a care home for about 2 years. I handed in my notice in March as they employed more staff and the bank shifts dried up, and I wasn't getting any work.
I applied for a new job and was sucessful, but they were waiting for a reference for ages. They've been trying to contact the manager from about April. She is never there and never calls back. I'd only met her twice in the 2 years I worked there and one of those was at interview.
I recently phoned to chase it up and managed to speek to her deputy who said she'd sent it. I called the other home and they said she's only stated the dates I worked and signed it. I can't think of any reason she'd do that, but the company can't accept it as a reference.
She did give a reference to an agency who I'm now with, but I'm still not getting much work and it's unpredictable. I'm so annoyed I can't start this permanant job.

The problem is, time is running out and I have a school bill to pay at the beginning of September. I could pay it monthly, but I'm not sure if I'm going to get work regularly enough to do it.

We're going to look at a state school tomorrow, and we've got a few more to see after that.
I don't mind taking her out and home eding her until she gets a place at another school. I'm just so worried I'l have a bill that I have no way of paying.

Your best bet is to speak to the bursar asap. At worst you give notice now, take her out and if you can't/don't pay in September, then they have to pursue you. But they may waiver the notice period if they can fill the space or don't think the hassle is worthwhile. Otherwise can you/dh clock up extra hours so you have a fund to pay for the final term ? tbh I don't really get why the reference is insufficient, legally they don't have to say anymore, or could the agency do one for you.

Could you speak to the headmaster in the way of maybe getting a bursary for a term or 2? I think the best thing to do is be honest with the current school. I'm sure they would want to keep your DD there but if not if you have no way of paying then that is what you should tell them.
We moved our DS from private to state in April because of a long commute and too small class sizes . He loves his new school far more than his other, has loads more friends so don't worry if it comes to that , she will be fine

you need to see the school asap and have a candid talk with them. even if you get the job within the timeline you have indicated, you will have to pay all of next terms fees even if you move your child to a state school in september.

Thank you, I'll speek to the school and see what they say. I no they don't give bursarys at all for the younger ones.
They do something called a floating notice, that way you only pay for the time she's there, but I think it's be too late to do this for nest term.

Right I work i the bursary of an independent school.The first thing you need to do is let them know what the situation is and whether your inability to pay the fees is just temporary or whther you just need tiding over.Generally we are pretty understanding and try to work with parents where they keep us informed of their position,we are not ogres and do understand that these things happen.

But the key is to be upfront and be clear about what you want to do in the long run,is it find another school or just a temp hicup.

I wonder, if I put in a floating notice tomorrow, could I take her out after that month and not have to pay the rest?

We call that revolving notice ,you would be too late for sept but you should still speak to the school they may be able to do something,either waiving notice,we will often do this if the problems are financial,if people haven't got the money they haven't got it.Or give popel 6 months grace to pay

I think legally a reference can just be the dates you worked there, time off sick etc.

had a similarish problem with refs for my NHS job, my old company were unwilling to give more than a basic reference. find out what new job people will accept - in my case they would accept a character reference from friends people I had babysat for, possibly a character ref from church/GP etc might suffice.

Apparently, this home won't accept that as a good referance. They say they want me to start ASAP, but it's company policy to have 2 good referances and the home could get in trouble at inspection if not. I've had my CRB check. The agency I'm now with goes to this home, but they won't accept me until I have my reference and then I can start with them not the agency.

What kind of references do they want? do they send a list of questions, can the agency provide a copy of the reference you received from your old workplace?

I have asked the agency and they've said they can't do that. I wonder wether their referance was the same, but they decided to accept it and the other home won't ?

Tbh, if your manager only met you twice in two years, I don't think there was much more she could write in a reference for you. Will the new care home accept a reference from anyone else? If you can't find someone else to provide a reference, you are going to end up with the same problem trying to find a job anywhere else.

SOme companies have a policy only to say dates worked in case they say someone is brilliant who isn't and then they get sued. It's not a very helpful stance. Surely yuou can find somenoe since you first had a job ever who could give a reference? What about your local doctor or vicar or someone who knows you well? What about the head of the private school who could write about your reliability, help at the school or just give a personal reference? Have you ever done house cleaning? I've written detailed references for my cleaners over the years including those who then worked in care homes and I am sure that helped them a lot.

Xenia is right. It is becoming more common for references to simply be a statement of how long you worked for a company. Will they accept a personal reference?

I agree with Xenia as well, the last place I worked had a policy of not providing anything other than a factual record of dates worked and its a big organisiation.
I thought this was fairly standard practice nowadays, I'm surprised the prospective employer isn't able to be more flexible as they must get this problem all the time.
Definitely speak to the school bursar and just ask what they can do for you, again you won't be the first to have been in this position.
Good luck

My firm only provides basic "name, rank and number" type references. I believe there have been some cases of firms being sued for libel for writing critical things in a reference.

I have given a character reference for a friend who did some baby sitting for us when she started doing nursery work and this was acceptable.

Speak to the school busar ASAP telling them of your intentions - to find a state school place and take her out as you can't afford it. Hopefully if they can fill the place they will not pursue you.

re: references I think thats normal - just to say dates you were there and pehaps number of sick days - its to avoid them being sued. You might be able to get a personal reference from an ex boss written in a personal capacity, I have done this for ex colleagues.

Thanks everyone. I had some good news today. The new home managed to speek to my last manager and she said that she wasn't prepared to write a more detailed one. They then asked if I'd done anything wrong etc and she said "no", so they are happy with that. (At last!) I now have my induction on monday and I'm already booked in for some shifts. I'm so relieved.
We did go and look at the school today. It seemed very caring but that was about it. The staff did seem lovely though. I will think about it.
Thanks again everyone.