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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

single sex schools

30 replies

busymummy3 · 23/04/2010 22:12

would you send your DC to an all girls or all boys school if you had yourself been in a single sex school or if you had been to a mixed school would you like the idea of sending your DC to a single sex school?

OP posts:

Clary · 24/04/2010 08:14

I went to mixed primary and single sex secondary.

Would never countenance single sex school for any of mine.

HTH

mjinhiding · 24/04/2010 08:18

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piscesmoon · 24/04/2010 08:20

I went to a mixed and a single secondary myself(I moved) and I would always choose mixed.
(I think at very few people, who make statements about which is best, have had the experience of both).

mjinhiding · 24/04/2010 08:22

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AntoinetteOuradi · 24/04/2010 08:32

I went to a single-sex school from 5-18. DS goes to a mixed school; DD to a girls' school that has a few boys in the early bit of the juniors and is then single-sex. I would prefer it to be entirely girls from the start. I think she sees enough of boys at home!

DS will go to a single sex boarding school at 13.

BellsaRinging · 24/04/2010 08:37

Mixed primary, single sex secondary and mixed sixth form. At the time I chose to change to a mixed sixth form, and was ready to go. Looking back the advantages were that I was not distracted by boys (and I would have been very distracted), and that there was no sexism along the lines of "girls do arts, boys do sciences" etc, but I don't know how common that would be now anyway. Having said that, the downside was that the girls were very cliquey and bitchy. I have a few friends from that school now, and don't have great memories of school, even though I wasn't bullied and was relatively popular. My sister really suffered from bullying, although that could have just as easily happened in a mixed school. On the one hand I got a great academic education, on the other socially I feel I missed out on alot.

Runoutofideas · 24/04/2010 08:39

I went to mixed primary, single sex secondary to 16 then mixed secondary for 16-18. Worked well for me.

DD1 is currently at our mixed local primary. I would like to think I'd choose what I consider to be the best school for dd at 11 whether it turns out to be mixed or single sex. I do think it's a big jump to go to university from a single sex sixth form though.

Quattrocento · 24/04/2010 08:39

This is an interesting debate. There's a lot of evidence to show that girls do better at single-sex schools and boys do better at mixed schools.

Currently mine are both in single-sex schools and likely to remain there, but I am worried about it on two counts:

The children get to see the other gender as being different - it perpetuates gender barriers that are harmful.

All the evidence is around academic performance and doesn't measure well-being. I'm not sure whether single sex schools, particularly girl's schools are good for general well-being. I'm not sure how happy DD is at her fiercely competitive (in every domain) girl's school and it seems a bit claustrophobic to me.

Runoutofideas · 24/04/2010 08:42

Agree completely with Bellsaringing - sounds like we had a very similar education!

maggotts · 24/04/2010 08:47

piscesmoon - I also went to both a mixed and single secondary (also moved) and much preferred latter. Had some cliquey and bitchy girls at both schools - presence of boys doesn't magically transform girls into caring, friendly paragons of virtue!

Both DDs now at girls' school (one secondary, one primary).

notyummy · 24/04/2010 08:50

Mixed primary, single sex secondary.

If there was a good single sex opption for dd at secondary I would send her.

I was a shy, uncool, overweight girl until I was 16, and there was no pressure to be looking good/dating boys . Most of my friends weren't. Good record on girls doing science etc. This was a catholic school in a v deprived area btw, so not many of us had loads of financial advantages - not sure if that meant there was less of the cliquey/bitchness mentioned by others further down the thread? It did happen, but as potentially a natural target for bullies I don't remember much in the way of it ( a few comments etc, but nothing that really made my life unhappy.) I still see quite a few friends from school now, despite living in a differnt area of the country.

I think a good single sex school can help girls resist some of the pressures thrust on them now at ever earlier ages.

BTW - I went to uni early and mixed quite happily with boys from 16 onwards so don't think it left me unable to form relationships with the opposite sex.

BeenBeta · 24/04/2010 09:01

I have to admit me and DW are very torn.

Me and DW both went to single sex schools.

DSs have rather oddly both been at Prep schools with a majority of girls 10% boys 90% girls all their school life but when they get to secondary school we are unsure. We tend to think that for boys the mixed sex environment is better. We want them to see girls as people and friends not alien species. We also think a single sex enviroment has its dowsides. It can be a very intense 'bitchy' one and keeping young men and women apart does not do much for future cooperation between sexes.

On the other hand growing up through difficult teenage years without the pressure of being popular with the opposite sex or even just 'distracted' is also good.

What we are sure about is that boys and girls do not need to be separated at school before they are 12 and probably should be taught together at 6th form as well to prepare them for University and the world of work.

We like the diamond structure that teaches together up to 11, then apart up to GCSE but with some mixing for things like choir and then together for A levels.

piscesmoon · 24/04/2010 10:16

I found that there was much more pressure at the single sex school to 'fit in' and to have a boyfriend etc.It wasn't an issue at the mixed, we had known the boys since 11yrs, and some since 5 yrs,and so they were very ordinary and much more likely to just be friends.

mjinhiding · 24/04/2010 11:17

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rabbitstew · 24/04/2010 12:45

I don't think I'd have massively strong opinions one way or the other if I'd looked round the school in question and liked the feel of the place. As I have two ds's and no dds, though, I think unless I really liked the school I would rather my ds's went to a mixed school, given the lack of a similar-age female influence at home.

As for my own experience, I went to a mixed primary and single sex secondary and was quite happy at both. My brothers were miserable at their single sex boys' schools.

Clary · 24/04/2010 13:52

I am always amazed by people who talk about no girls do arts, boys do science at single sex schools.

I can only speak from my own exp of course, as piscesmoon points out, but at my all-girls' school, arts ruled OK.

80 girls in the 6th form, 60 of them did Eng Lit; 5 did physics. Go figure (not that they did ).

Xenia · 24/04/2010 14:46

I and my children have been at single sex schools always 4 - 18. Most of the best top 20 schools are single sex so that's where they went. It's worked out fine. They have siblings of the other sex and their schools have connections with schools of the other sex. It's harder to get 11 year old boys singing treble in choirs at mixed schools as singing can be seen as "girly" if there are girls around plus all the other points made above. Fewer distractions, girls know they can be best. I also like boy school at primary level as everything is boy - the English reading books are boys, behaviour which is normal boy is not seen as naughty as everyone is a boy, activities can be boy ones - it's just much better all round and they have male teacher even at this age of 11.

MmeBlueberry · 24/04/2010 14:50

I went to a girls' school, and my boys are at a mixed school and girls at a girls' school.

Girls'-only schools are lovely.

thirtysomething · 24/04/2010 14:58

We both went to single-sex - can see pros and cons tbh. Lots of bitchiness at my school but as others have suggested, that may be down to the area as there was huge competition over who had pools/Mercedes/fancy foreign holidays etc - i had none of the above and still had my own group of friends; just avoided the bitchier girls! We saw plenty of boys on the bus (shared with boys school) and I did very well academically.

DS now at single sex secondary and really thrives on the atmosphere - he knows loads of girls outside the school from his old primary and also girls he meets through friends, shared school bus etc.

He is doing far better socially and academically at his new school and much prefers the single sex environment.

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 24/04/2010 15:01

I went to mixed primary, single sex secondary, as did DH. I wouldn't send small children to a single sex school (assuming a decent mixed alternative was available); I don't have a strong opinion either way for secondary. I do have one of each, though, so know they'll be getting plenty of exposure to the opposite sex outside school.

MyBump3 · 24/04/2010 15:23

Personally I think mixed schools are better. I think kids need to mix with both sexes, as they will have to all through their lives. I wouldn't send either of my girls to single sex schools. I just think when they are teenagers and they are away from the opposite sex it makes them more appealing than if they are with them everyday. I went to mixed schools and liked having both boy and girl friends. My sis went to single sexed secondary and she hated it.

nighbynight · 24/04/2010 15:25

Difficult to say. I went to a single sex school, and it was a very relaxing atmosphere.

On the other hand, it was no sort of preparation for real life. I did all the stupid falling in love things at university, for example, which I should really have got over at 14.

My children are at mixed schools, and I think on the whole Im happier with that.

primarymum · 24/04/2010 17:37

we have no choice, all our secondary schools are single sex!

Original poster

busymummy3 · 24/04/2010 22:57

I went to mixed primary, all girls school secondary , husband went to mixed primary and mixed(grammar) DD1 went to mixed primary then all girls secondary - (same secondary as me) and very happy there. DS we have decided after much deliberation mixed for secondary(is in mixed primary) we just cannot see him being happy in an all boys school. I was very happy in an all girls school and feel that DD is encouraged to do well in everything and therefore is doing well in both English, History , Geography, Technology, ICT, Arts Maths and Science so much so that it is going to be a very hard decision for options next year (she will be in Y9) DS we feel will do much in a learning environment not full of uber competitive boys - a hard decision especially when there is an excellent all boys school in our area - we have decided to opt for a similarly successful mixed secondary school

OP posts:

vonnyh · 25/04/2010 15:18

I went to a mixed primary, all girls secondary which had a mixed sixth form. I have a dd and a ds, and they will both go to mixed secondary. No way would i have sent either of them to a single sex school.

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