SE13- It's funny that they wouldn't differentiatie the curriculum appropriately at primary for DD, and she made NO progress in 5 years...She's gone up to Secondary, they're differentiating much more for her, and ...she's starting to make progress! (she's finally off p-scales and into NC levels, even if it is only Lvl 1...). It REALLY does depend on the school, and if you're in an area like mine, where even the LEA admits we need another MS school to cope with admissions, there's no options either, it's this school or one that's 30 miles away when I can't drive.
DS2 was meant to have a special chair AND a writing slope before he joined reception (we had lots of meetings beforehand to discuss his needs). Still not got either and we're a term and a half into Y1 now. I was told halfway through reception that he needs to use a laptop in order to access the curriculum - the SenCo has told me he'll not get it until he gets into Y3...He's meant to have 6 weekly school visits from the OT...one since September 2008 when he started Reception....and blah blah blah.
Unfortunately, my DC's are stuck in a MS school that is VERY tied up in the NC. My DS1's stepbrother is in reception, and has been excluded 9 times since September, He's possibly ADHD, but as per your point 3, PCT say LEA needs to deal with it, LEA says PCT needs to deal with it...