Did your summer born DS/DD wait until the term they started 5 to attend school? Or are you a teacher with an opinion on this?

[catchingzeds]

Hoping to hear others experiences as I'm considering doing the same with my July born DS, he is due to start school Sept '10.
It's too early to make the decision yet but I want to have done my research!
DS is very 'young' for his age and is having a tough time settling into pre-sch, in fact I still go with him!

Was your school supportive?
Did your child start school in the Spring or did you wait until the following Sept?
Did your child find it difficult to make friends?

Thank you in advance for any advice

My DS is one of the oldest in his year - Oct birthday. There is no way he would have been ready to start a nearly a year earlier although I didn't think you got a choice anyway, I thought they started in the Sept of the year they were 5. Personally, i think you can see the difference between the younger ones and the older ones - as there is really nearly a year between them. Having said that my DS is best mates with 2 of the youngest in his year. Also, I think the gap gets less as they go through the years. He is in year 2 now and one of his best mates who as I said is one of the youngest is better now at writing than my DS.

My DS1 was in the last year locally to have a January start.

It was not IMHO a good thing for him tho I was happy at the time. He started with a January cohort, but even so it felt as tho he was playing catch-up all thru reception - both in terms of friends and learning (phonics etc). He is not and never will be an academic genius but we do feel that it would have been better in hindsight if he had started in with everybody. (he is 10 now btw)

DD started in Sept and was totally totally fine. She is a very different child but was still young when she started at school but it was totally OK. Both of them are June birthdays btw.

Schools are geared up for young children and make the curriculum very low-key at first. Our school puts them in age-sorted classes so all the children are young in a particular class. I have helped in FS2 the last 3 years and the children are fine, really. In fact the only time a child was held back till the January it did him no favours. JMO tho.

You can always ask to do shorter days for a while - perhaps the first half term? if you are not sure. HTH

My March DS started school the term after he was 5. I'd planned to home ed until he was 7 as on parts of the continent but he was adamant that he wanted to go to school with his older siblings!

I think his teacher did worry about it at first as she'd had all the others for 2 terms already but he is now seen as a shining advert for a later start. He is very attentive, concentrates well etc, much better than all the other boys in his class. He actually struggled with their behaviour to start with tbh but has settled in well. He is a bit behind with literacy and numeracy (obviously) but very far ahead with social skills. He's catching up fast and is not the bottom of the class by any means.

On the negative side, he's clearly bright and did notice that he couldn't do all the things the other children were doing and didn't like it. That said, he has also resisted my attempts to help him catch up over the summer holidays. School has excellent learning support but no-one feels he needs it so he's clearly doing okay.

I have found it very hard to predict. Dd (July baby) found group settings so difficult she didn't go to preschool until last March and then only for 2 mornings/week. I was dreading school and after a traumatic settling in session in the summer even her teacher was dreading it!

Astonishingly, she was absolutely fine whne she did start and really loves school. Went full time from week two. I would never have predicted this - but I could see changes in ehr over the preceding summer which school has accelerated. She's still a bit babyish and unworldly compared to many of the other kids. She was aking me this morning why she couldn't go to school every day!

I have friends whose summer borns will not go full time until either Jan or spring and they are very happy with that decision for them.

So you might want to keep your options open for as long as possible.

My dd (end Aug bday) started school in Sept age 4, she's very tall for her age & her speech is very good but confidence wise & emotionally poss a bit immature. Like Acinonyx she has blossomed in many ways, yes we did have a few difficult weeks at first but once settled in she has been fine. I think at the beg of the year there was a big difference in the class, it's quite a small school so just one class per year & the older ones did stick out from the younger ones. Now it seems to have evened out a bit, a few of the older girls do seem a bit older but all the others seem pretty much the same. My dd's non school friends have birthdays Sept or later so she was the only one of our little group to be starting school. Think I did start treating her a bit differently from her friends, trying to increase independence etc & now she does seem a lot older than her friends, something that she loves - not sure whether they do though!

Ds June birthday (was due in August). Emotionally quite immature compared to older ones in his year but definitely ready for reception in terms of what activities they did compared with nursery. He grew up hugely over the year but is still less mature than some of his classmates. For me that wasn't a reason to delay starting school as his teachers knew his age and development and adjusted accordingly.

Both of my two fell into the Summer born category which at that time was April 1st onwards. They started school in the January when they were 4 and went fulltime in the summer term.

It suited DS not DD

The school no longer do it like this, it is all in in September, all fulltime in January.

dd2 is july born, I certainly can't wait for her to start school. She has been going to nursery since she was 6 months old and is already now quite excited to start school with her friends from playgroup. But I must admit that in reception at our school they seem to play a lot, inside and outside,and the teacher is very experienced.
I'm from the continent myself where children start school later, but where children have been taught to read in kindergarten.
So basically I think it depends a lot on how your school is and what the alternatives are.

Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate them.
It is all or nothing here too as far as I'm aware, only intake is in Sept. I haven't approached the school with their policies as I don't want to be labelled as 'one of those' parents I'd rather give it some more thought first. Although I did ask when looking around the school about their settling in policy and DS would do am's or pm's until Jan.

I can see there are advantages and disadvantages either way, it's a difficult decision. I'm not worried about reading/writing etc it's socially and emotionally I feel DS would struggle.
The school is one class intake so no separating of children according to age. One class also means it could make it more difficult for DS to integrate in Yr 1, the children will have been together for a school year.
I think my last sentence means I have little choice actually?

Ho hum, unless I Home Ed........

Else I could just be being completely pathetic about my PFB

Yes I think those children that have attended childcare will find the transition to school much easier.
I'm a SAHM so DS started pre-sch Sept. I also have little family around which means DS and I have spent pretty much the last 3.5 yrs attached at the hip

Our school only has a once a year intake staggered over half a term.

There is a waiting list at our school so if you didn't take the place up then it would not have been kept open for you.

I have 3 summer born dds (one is 28th August) and they all managed fine they didn't learn to read until part way through year 1 but they enjoyed school and were happy to go which is all that mattered to me.

I know what you mean SleighGirl, I feel the same. All these stories are comforting!

My nephew is an Aug birthday and school has been and continues to be a real struggle for him, sitting still and concentrating are his main issues. DS would be fine with that side of things it's interacting with the other children he may find difficult and he's scared of a lot of things, a real sensitive soul.
It doesn't help that he is also tiny for his age.

secretskillrelationships thank you for your success story! Did your DS go to pre-sch before he began school?

madamdeathstare did your daughters start school in the reception year or did they have to join Year 1?

If DS could join reception a year later then I would definitely do this it's the fact that he has to enter school in Year 1 that bothers me.

I'm coming at this from a different place but maybe my experience will help.

We're in Scotland, where the intake year is the calendar year - roughly. Basically you can start primary 1 in mid-August if you were born in the calendar year prior to that August, but up to the end of Feb.

However, if you were born Jan or Feb you can defer to the next year.

So no-one starts school till they are at least 4y6m, and it can be up to 5y6m.

My dd1 and ds are both Feb birthdays and we chose to defer to the next year so they both started school at 5 and a half. Dd2 was November and so started at 4y9m which seemed scarily young to me!!

I see a huge difference in how they have coped. Dd1 and ds are great, dd2 has struggled with reading and also socialisation - she would just rather be home with me! But she does ok.

Speaking as a secondary school teacher in my old life, I see a huge diserence in kids who are older starting school - especially boys. Its always the younger boys who forget books/homework/folders etc.

Don't know if this makes a huge diferrence as you are considering deferring but still being part of the same year. But imho, there are huge benefits to a later start.

Thank you weegiemum that is really helpful. My instinct is I should defer but I know it is frowned upon by schools and most of my family and friends.
I think I need to speak to pre-school and most importantly the school to see if I would have their support. Also need to speak to the county council to see how finding a school place works, if they say I have to chance there being a place in Year 1 of our local (and good) school then that is another problem. But I suppose that is only fair it is my choice to defer after all.

Or the other solution is to move to Scotland

My twin daughters turned 4 last August and started school full time a few weeks later.

We were very concerned about whether they were ready - we went in to talk to the school several times and they did say that legally they couldn't stop us starting them later in the year but they felt it would be a mistake.

Now we have one term under our belts I think they were right. The girls are young for their year - there are October born children who are taking home reading books with whole sentences in and ours are still bringing back picture books with no words at all, where they just point out what is happening.

But socially the whole year bonded as a group from day one. If ours had been the only ones starting now in January I think they would always feel a bit left out. They spent last term learning a lot of letters and numbers and simple words -so they would be even more behind the others if they'd just begun lessons.

I think starting your son in year one and missing reception would actually make things harder. I talked to a lot of teacher friends when I considered doing just that and they were all very against it- saying that reception really is just that, where the school receives the children in and gets them used to being at school. Then when they start year one which is more formal learning - it's not all such a shock. They are used to the dinner hall, going into assembly, changing their shoes themselves etc.

It's a very hard decision. I still wish my girls had been old for their year rather than young. They do get very tired. But they are stimulated and there are a lot of things they really love about their school so I'm glad now they went.

The school does not legally have to hold a place for them for year one either. So you would perhaps risk having no place at all next year or having to go to a school you perhaps wouldn't have chosen..

My twin daughters turned 4 last August and started school full time a few weeks later.

We were very concerned about whether they were ready - we went in to talk to the school several times and they did say that legally they couldn't stop us starting them later in the year but they felt it would be a mistake.

Now we have one term under our belts I think they were right. The girls are young for their year - there are October born children who are taking home reading books with whole sentences in and ours are still bringing back picture books with no words at all, where they just point out what is happening.

But socially the whole year bonded as a group from day one. If ours had been the only ones starting now in January I think they would always feel a bit left out. They spent last term learning a lot of letters and numbers and simple words -so they would be even more behind the others if they'd just begun lessons.

I think starting your son in year one and missing reception would actually make things harder. I talked to a lot of teacher friends when I considered doing just that and they were all very against it- saying that reception really is just that, where the school receives the children in and gets them used to being at school. Then when they start year one which is more formal learning - it's not all such a shock. They are used to the dinner hall, going into assembly, changing their shoes themselves etc.

It's a very hard decision. I still wish my girls had been old for their year rather than young. They do get very tired. But they are stimulated and there are a lot of things they really love about their school so I'm glad now they went.

The school does not legally have to hold a place for them for year one either. So you would perhaps risk having no place at all next year or having to go to a school you perhaps wouldn't have chosen..

I have to say my girls so far have found good friends all in the first term at school, okay they don't become proper friendships until the later years but when I think back I remember children starting in year 1 when I was at primary and they were always the "new" children who started later than everyone else.....

My ds started school in Sept (July born) He did not cope well and I decided to defer his place.

As it stands, his place remains on offer until the end of the term in which he turns 5 (summer) but if I want to wait until Sept I need to reapply to the school for his year 1 place. It is a full time place on offer. Unfortunately for us, the school do not feel they could accommodate any part time period.

He has changed even in these few months and I really think he needed more time to grow emotionally before coping with school.

However I am essentially a conventional soul and to take a decision that many others don't agree with is not easy. I had to really evaluate what I felt was the best decision for ds and brave the critics!

Good Luck

Thanks again for your responses, I'm very grateful.

Have to say my biggest worry would be DS struggling to break into a bonded class but still my instinct is nagging at me.

I've always tried hard to socialise DS particularly as he didn't attend nursery like friends children. We went to 2 'stay and play' groups a week until he started pre-sch but has always found large groups intimidating.

pavalova totally understand what you mean about being a conventional soul! Think you're fab for doing what you thought was best.
How long was your DS at school before you pulled him out and how do you think he will feel about going back in Sept?

carchingzedsa - is it a big school your ds is going to? I had 3 2 choose from and decided to choose the smaller school rather than the more academic school.

It is a small school, it's the reason we chose it. It's graded 'outstanding' and used to have a fab reputation for allowing the children to be individuals but it has had a change of head teacher and is not now regarded so highly.