EWO

[Jux]

We are threatened with the EWO as dd has had a lot of time off school this term - she's been off a lot more than she's been there. She's in Y6, so it's important. She's a bright girl, and I do worry about the amount she is missing.

What do EWOs do? Would there be a permanent mark on her record? If there were ever any other issue, would a previous visit by an EWO automatically give rise to other 'state intervention' (ie, SW or the like)?

bump

WE see our EWO regularly (dd1 has bowel troubles) and have had a meeting in school where I had to sign some agreement that she would be there consecutively for a month. Luckily we had seen her specialist by then and everything was sorted so she had no more time off. I don't know what would have happened if we broke the agreemnet, they never said, just that it would be taken further.

I think they had had enough of me arguing with them and pointing out that over 90% of absence was due to medical appointments or because they said I couldn't bring her in due to diarreah.

we got referred to EWO has DS a long run of illness related absence - EWO did bog all other than send out a standard letter stressing importance of school attendance. I did try and call her but she never returned my calls! So I wouldn't be too worried. If you have continuing health issues I would cover your back - take DD to GPs, and get receptionist to fill out an appointment card or keep the medicine box if anything is prescribed as proof of your DD being ill.

She's not ill, not physically. We've had 7 deaths of close family members in the last 2 years, and since my bro died in November, the 2 guinea pigs, the cat and the van.

We have tried to send her to school; we can see that the longer she stays off, the harder it is to go back. On the other hand, there are days where she's so emotionally over-loaded and anxious that she simply isn't in a fit state to go.

Fingers crossed that you get a good and sympathetic EWO who is able to get some support in place for your dd. It sounds like you have had an absolutely awful time and your dd could do with some outside support.

They could help her access counselling and agree with the school about some kind of support programme for helping her to get back in.

Dd has longterm problems with chronic health and anxiety, and her bf has lost her mum to cancer; the school has been very supportive of both of them and it makes a massive difference.

Thanks all. We collected mum's ashes today, and the cat's body. We've buried the cat this afternoon. We have been too upset to do any of this earlier, and still need to get my bro's ashes. It's been a hard day and dd bashed her head badly last night and I had to wake her every two hours, so no school again today. It's hardly worth sending her back thsi term.

sorry you have all had such a distressing year, agree with Cory's post, about trying to get support for going back to school, if you've got a nice GP might be useful talking to them as well about it all.

Jux I know you are having a really hard time of it at the moment but if at all possible do try to get DD to school for the last few days of term. This will make going back after Xmas much easier as the ice will be broken (IYSWIM)and she won't have had two weeks plus of holiday delay before going back.

I hope you and your DD get some support.

When my nephew was ill dd1 got great help from her fave TA. She made a huge fuss over her and they made cards for him and talked about visiting him, after he died she told dd1 a really lovely story about heaven and angels.

She really made things easier for dd1. If your dd has a favourite teacher it could be worth setting up a meeting and seeing if she/he would be willing to support your dd in this way and help her settle back in at school.

Jux - it all sounds a bit grim. I would try to get her back in before Christmas - it's more relaxed at this time of year anyway.

Also try not to see the EWO as a threat. If you get a decent one they can be really helpful and can often access help like counselling quicker than the GP for example. Is it worth thinking about doing part days? If she's a bit anxious first thing, take her in later or ease her in by doing just mornings. You do need to tackle it though before you get to school refusal stage and because secondary school are likely to be less sympathetic.

When I was 10, my dad (who was a single parent to me) died, and I had to move to a new town to live with my mum. I was only 'allowed' 2 weeks off school, and I can honestly say that it wasn't long enough. It affected me so badly, that despite being G&T, I completely gave up on school, and although I attended, I may as well not have done, as I just didn't DO the work or take it in. I ended up leaving school, pregnant and disaffected with education, a month before my 16th birthday. I would say, it's much more important to let your child grieve in their own time, do some school work when you can at home with her (basically HE) until your child feels ready herself to go back to school. An early return does more harm than good in the long run, a child should be allowed to grieve without being pressured to return to school. Y6 may be an important year, but in the long run, if you return to school in Y7 happy and well adjusted, you will acheive much more in life than being forced to go and be in a very social situation before you are ready. That's just my opinion, based on having personally been in a similar situation at the same age.

Took her to doc again y'day as lump on head grown to more than twice the size of previous night. Got stronger painkillers for her which worked! He told us not to send her in yesterday.

Sent her in today. So far, not heard anything so assume she's OK.

Loudlass, this is at least partly my thinking. At one time - several hundred years ago! - mourning lasted a year at least for a widow. Of course, kids didn't tend to go to school at all unless they wanted to anyway, so maybe that's not relevant. But it does seem to me that we are expected to just get on with things rather quickly, or rather more quickly than would necessarily be right for the individual.

I'm not sure how much we're facilitating this in dd though. I am slightly worried that she may have got to the point where she is just plain scared of going back and will make things up to avoid it. Not sure, nothing definite to go on. Still, she's there today and we'll see how it goes next week.

You've all convinced me that the EWO is not a person to be feared though, and for that I thank you. Won't the head be astonished if I request an EWO though?!