Calling Smee!

[HelenMeg]

Smee

Read your post about your DS's 'threesome' friendship this morning, and how you described the way that he was handling it so well..

My DS ( very nearly 6 in Y1) is in an almost identical situation and finding your post was really encouraging for me. Would you mind giving me an update on how the situation has developed..are they still in the 3 some - or have things changed..

many many thanks

Yes, mostly still very much three of them. DS still walks away sometimes, especially when one in particular is being daft. They play with Yr2 and of late there's been some hassle with a couple of the older boys chasing them. DS says it's his mate winding them up and taking it too far, so he leave them to it. Am v.proud of him for this [smug emoticon!]. Though truth be told I think he's lucky as he's quite sociable so can quite easily go and play with others if he wants to. Is your son getting upset by it Helen? Hope not.

Hi Smee. Thanks for getting back to me..
I think DS felt a little pushed out when his friend brought the other boy into the friendship to make it a three some, specially as his friend kept saying that now he had a new best friend! I do think its good to bring in more friends and not be reliant just on one friend. I just think three is an odd number and someone is always likely to be left out. Its like when they go on an outing then the other 2 pair up and DS has to find another partner.. maybe this will do him good in a way as it forces him to branch out a little - but my heart still aches for him. I am trying to encourage other friendships but he seems to want to stay in the 3-some. He's probably not as bothered as I am!! I just try and get him to talk about what goes on so I can be aware as much as possible whether he needs any support..
As someone else on here put - just try and love and listen!
Glad your DS copes so well -being sociable certainly helps and having self confidence..

Helen I think DS is a bit luckier than your son in that his school has a two class intake, and DS is in a class with only one of other boys, so when they need a partner he's automatically one of them and nobody gets left out. This 'he's my best friend/ not my best thing' seems to happen almost daily though, so sadly it's normal. End of last term, we had another boy trying to make DS into his new 'best friend' and he was pushing DS to ditch the other two. That caused yet more problems. It's hard being that age - tbh I'm a bit astounded by it all, as I'd wrongly assumed it was girls who did all this. How wrong was I?!

Smee

Me too - thought it was more a girly thing!
Tonight it was the school Halloween Disco - and DS decided he didnt want to go as his best friend would be hanging around with the other boy and he would feel left out..

I encouraged him to go anyway - but he really didnt want to - also it is his birthday today and he had new toys to play with.. Anyway, he didnt go, but I felt sad for him. I have just been trying to talk to him about the situation, and he just said that now his friend does more things with the new friend than he does with DS.

I suppose that this is a part of life that DS has to come to terms with, and all I can do is support him and invite other boys around to play etc, and encourage him to have more friendships.It just makes me feel really down on his behalf. I just hope its temporary and the situation evolves soon!

Yes, I can see that your DS is in a different situation with only having one other boy in his class! My DS's school also has 2 class intake too. Oh well, in time i suppose these things sort themselves out.
Talking to other Mum's of daughters, they also seem to have their fair share of problems - often with girls being nasty to other girls.

Might change again next week. That's what seems to happen here .