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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Teachers calling your DC by nicknames - yay or nay?

42 replies

LovingTheRain · 24/09/2009 20:36

What are your views on teachers calling your DCs by nicknames? ( Not necessarily ones you use at home or they have heard you use)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mrz · 24/09/2009 20:54

Does the child object?

pippel · 24/09/2009 20:55

not bothered but my dd would soon put her straight!

colditz · 24/09/2009 20:57

Depends how the child feels about it. I think you do eventually have to accept that you cannot have the last word on everything that happens in your child's life, not like when they are a baby.

abra1d · 24/09/2009 21:01

If it's affectionate I don't mind.

Hulababy · 24/09/2009 21:01

I always ask children what they want to be called, if their name lends itself to nicknames. Even at 5/6y they seem very confident in being able to let us know their preferred names. We definitely find this out in first coupele of weeks if we pronounce names incorrectly too.

Mind you I am forever using names like sweetie, sweetheart, poppet, etc.

AMumInScotland · 24/09/2009 21:04

I don't think I'd feel comfortable with the teacher choosing a nickname which the DC hadn't already been using, or at least that the others in the class were using. I mean, why would they decide to do that?

trickerg · 24/09/2009 21:14

I've never been told off by parents for doing this until last year (I'm a great fan of shortened names - I NEVER use nicknames), but since then I've had 3 or 4 complaints. One parent got a bit shirty about it. Personally I find it all a bit precious but I guess it's the parents' prerogative. I really must stop it.

trickerg · 24/09/2009 21:14

BTW I do check with the children if it's OK!

Clary · 24/09/2009 23:55

MY DS1 had a teacher who did this with some of them.

Quite sweet I thought - eg Dictionary for a child who knew lots, or Puppy for a girl with cute eyes, or random corruptions of their names (esp if a lot in class with same name).

I think it's only OK if the children were OK about it tho (which as far as I know they were).

asdx2 · 25/09/2009 05:07

My ds spent his yr R at primary being referred to as Sonic (as in hedgehog) which pleased him no end as it was a favourite character of his and teacher saw him playing it repeatedly in the playground. Much of his work was labelled and commented on using Sonic and everyone knew who was being referred to.I wasn't offended at all and saw it as an affectionate term as teacher made it obvious that she enjoyed having him in her class.

alwayslookingforanswers · 25/09/2009 05:10

"Even at 5/6y they seem very confident in being able to let us know their preferred names."

oh how true - DS1 has insisted he's known to everyone by his nickname since he started school. Even his school reports have his proper name on the front and then the shortened version which he prefers through it.

thirtypence · 25/09/2009 05:18

If I have a few with the same name then I try to come up with something original rather than just using a surname or their initial of their surname.

I call one lad Bendy. Because his name is Ben D... But I checked with him first. I would only call him this when choosing between two Bens with their hands up though.

NormaJeanAteMyHamster · 25/09/2009 07:12

TBH I've never given a child a nickname - if they told me they had one and they liked it used I might. If a child has a shortenable name like Samuel I would always ask them if they prefer the full name or mind the shortening. You say such a lot of names all day I always go for the shortened version.

cory · 25/09/2009 07:30

couldn't care either way unless they were genuinely upset by it, then I would gently have told the teacher

tbh I haven't felt the need to know absolutely everything that goes on in the classroom- unless, as I said, dcs are really upset

Goblinchild · 25/09/2009 07:39

'MY DS1 had a teacher who did this with some of them.

Quite sweet I thought - eg Dictionary for a child who knew lots, or Puppy for a girl with cute eyes, or random corruptions of their names (esp if a lot in class with same name).'

I think that's revolting and very stereotypical.
But then, I was called 'The Walking Dictionary' at one school by the teacher and taunted about it relentlessly before I left. Thank God I was a Services child, you can leave crap behind you every couple of years.
I ask the children what their name is, and I use what they prefer. Several years ago I had a Samuel and a Sammy and a Sam. If I'd had two Sams, I add the initial letter of their surname. If their mother calls them Oliver, but the child wants to be Olly in class, I call him Olly. When I talk to the mother, I'd refer to him as Oliver.

brimfull · 25/09/2009 07:42

as long as it's not 'little shithead' i don't mind

RupertTheBear · 25/09/2009 07:47

My dd's teacher pronounces her name wrong and my dd is too shy to put her right. I have been in once and told her the correct pronounciation (it isn't a difficult or unusual name) but she is still getting it wrong. DD doesn't want me to go in again, she says she doesn't mind being called the wrong name
I am just trying to use her name very loudly whenever we are in earshot of the teacher (am sure the other parents think I am a bit nuts).
I am a primary teacher myself and alwasy make a real effort to get children's names right. I would be mortified if I thought I was calling a child by the wrong name.

Hulababy · 25/09/2009 07:56

I hate the whole having to use a surname initial after a name. A nn or shortening always seems so much friendly. Name plus initial, to me, sounds cold and impersonal.

thirtypence · 25/09/2009 07:58

I can't pronounce one of my pupil's names. It is from a country I didn't grow up in and try as I might I can't get the first sound right. Well it sounds the same to me - but she corrects me.

We have agreed on an alternative between us.

Hulababy · 25/09/2009 08:04

We are 3 weeks in and I am just about right with the pronunciations in my class - I think.

Eva - pronounced Ay-va
Elias - pronounced Ilias
Hanadi - pronounced Han-ar-di
Meraaj - prnounced Mi-ra-j (I think)
Yelena - pronounced Y-lay-na

Plus several new names for me, as in names from other cultures I am unfamiliar with, so have to learn pronunctiations.

Learning 30 names can be hard work at times. We always explain that to the children on the first days - that we have 30 new names to learn and it can take us some time - but that they should remind us if we get a wrong. They seem to have no problem doingg it, and even if the child is shy the rest of the class will help out.

Now matching the name to the child....

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight · 25/09/2009 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuppyMonkey · 25/09/2009 11:21

Oh, eek, I would be very if a teacher started calling my daughter Puppy because she has nice eyes...

I have a Madeleine who teachers always called Maddie as everyone else did - I think that's ok. But not Puppy!!!!

chimchar · 25/09/2009 11:35

i think it depends on the nickname and why!

shortened names are fine if the child likes it, nick names that the child goes by and likes again are fine....ie, jonesie instead of john jones etc...

i tend to use my own range of names with the kids i work with...lovely boy, flash, superman etc....they are meant with affection. anything that makes the child uncomfortable are not acceptable.

why do you ask op?

gorionine · 25/09/2009 11:40

I think it ultimately depends on wether your DC likes it or not and obviously on the fact that it is not rude or demeaning.

TeeBee · 25/09/2009 12:12

A nay from me, shortened names are one thing, but I would have dubious thoughts about a teacher making up pet names for my children. I know for a fact my 6 year old would not challenge a teacher for doing this, even if he didn't like it. My little one would tell them off though!

I think it smacks of wanting to be their best friends when in fact you are their teacher. How would you feel if all your colleagues started calling you puppy? Personally I'd be very embarrassed. It is a professional relationship after all.

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