Doesn't want to go to school, please help

[mummyeme]

Hello,
I have a wonderful, confident happy little girl. She started school in January and used to love every minute, she even got a little certificate from the head teacher for settling in so well and schools never been a problem for her until now. For the past week she's been so unhappy and from the moment she comes home after school she's already saying that she doesn't want to go back. There have been a couple of incidents involving a year 1 girl, she's pushed her and her friend in the playground and last week ran off with her hat. I spoke to the teacher and was told this has been resolved, dd says she hasn't seen this girl again. However dd is so desperately unhappy, this morning has been the worst and the teacher pulled her into the room screaming. I feel so terrible and don't know what to do, I can't bear seeing her so upset and don't want her thinking I'd leave her like it. Dds birthday isn't until the summer, just after the term finishes and I feel like pulling her out now (legally she doesn't have to start until September). She can't go through another morning like today. I have called the school already and they've said they'll ring if she's unhappy but not otherwise. Has anyone else been through this and can you give me any advice please?

This worked for my son and another friend's son - is there a before school club?

DS hated the discipline of school - being barked at by the teacher from the first moment of the day. It stopped him from doing what he wanted to do, even though he quite liked the things the teacher was suggesting. I hated the scenes every morning dragging him into the classroom, and it seemed to set the mood for the rest of the day.

Putting him into before school club for half an hour worked really well - he got to play and do his own thing, and then just filed into class with the rest of the guys when the time came for register.

It sounds counter intuitive, but it might be worth a try.

It's only been a week - I know it's incredibly hard to see your child so upset but I think you need to give it a bit longer before you make any big decisions.

It could well be that the screaming is for your benefit and she's fine when you're gone (my DD used to do this at nursery - every day for about 18 months. When I stood outside the door I could hear her going from screaming to giggling in seconds, and knew she was fine). The teachers will be well-experienced in dealing with this, and they will call you if she's really not settling, so don't panic. A lot of the younger Reception children have little blips like this - I think it's the point at which they realise school is "forever" and not optional.

Go and have another chat with the teacher when you pick her up - see if anything else is going on that's bothering your DD.

Thanks for your advice, it's just so hard to see and so different to how she's been before, the complete opposite! I think it may be that she's realised it's permanent and also the fact that another girl was nasty to her may be the tipping point.