Girl in DS's class (Year 4) is 'seriously' in love with him...how to handle??

[Legacy]

DS is a normal 9 year old boy - interested in computer games, science, sports etc.
He's quite a sensitive, academic child, and has friends who are boys and girls.

One girl in the class seems to seriously like him.

At first it just seemed like a bit of fun. She sent him cards (b'day/ Xmas) with lots of kisses on.

Thne a valentine's card with lots of 'I love you' 'I want to kiss you'

Recently little gifts - things she's made etc.

Then she started phoning to talk to him.

This weekend she phoned to ask if they could go somewhere together.

Today he has come home with a note from her asking if they can meet up 'on a date', and saying will he write to her to tell him how much he loves her...

DS seems rather indifferent. He's a kind boy, and says he likes her as a friend, but rolls his eyes a bit at the other stuff.

I know, and am on 'coffee terms' with the girl's Mum and we've exchanged comments about it in the past (before it got this serious).

DH & I are now a bit and feel it's a bit too much, but I'm just wondering how to handle it? She's a nice girl, and I don't want her to get upset and hurt, but she is stalking my son rather!!

They are 9

I was a late developer...gosh am worrying now as DS1 is nearly 5, have only 4 years before this starts (had counted on at least, um 15!).

Have you spoken to the girl's Mom about it?

Lizzy - well, that was my feeling. But as I say, my DS has no romantic feelings about it at all, but I've been a bit about this girl's notes & cards.

When I spoke to the Mum she said it was totally non-sexual, and rather sweet, but I'm wondering if she knows what her daughter is saying in her notes?

DH thinks I should speak to the Mum and try to get her to call it off a bit. I sort of agree really.

I think you should, it is all a bit much, isn't it?
They can be lovely friends, as they should be at this age, it needn't be so "grown up".

Gosh, I am dreading all of this! I was still playing with bloody dolls at 9!

The thing is, I would have been quite happy for them to see each other to play/ go to the cinema or something but now I'm reluctant because I don't want to 'fuel' it really...

Not sure exactly what to say to the other Mum though - I thought it would be a few years before I'd be saying 'leave my son alone'

oh gosh, they do start young don't they??

I would maybe just say to the other mum, did she know that her daughter was sending notes and stuff, and just say that your ds is a bit uncomfortable with it and you aren't sure what to do because you don't want to upset her dd.

I think it's quite normal. my 8yo dd has a serious of suitors/boyfriends, she just likes boys as friends but the boys have definitely been making romantic overtures. To my surprise, but I've got used to it.

I think my rather staid parents shuddered though when 8yo dd told them she was going to a sleepover at her boyfriend's house. That boy was 7.

and another little 8yo kissed her behind a bush, which shocked her rather. she's the sort of child who is always grubby and prefers beetles to people, so it's been interesting watching the boys line up. But it does seem to be harmless.

Well as you say, your ds says he doesn't feel 'romantically' for this girl, and the girls mother claims its'non-sexual'

phew!

Is this real? can your ds say 'urrgh! you've got the lergy,' and run off with his coat like a cape and his arms out in aeroplane.

Otherwise perhaps he could write to her to reply that, although he is very flattered by her advances, he would rather concentrate on his studies right now but hopes they can still be friends, and perhaps could go to the cinema or roller skating in a group sometime.