has anyone chosen a highly academic (private) school for a young child and lived to regret it (or the reverse)?

[wheelsonthebus]

it's impossible to know whether my dc is academic or not at their age, and although dc has been accepted by the school, I worry that its impressive looking performance in league tables may come back and hit me/dc in the face...

If you don't feel 100% happy, then look around for somewhere you do. Your dc will feel it too. Or could you perhaps meet some of the parents with children at the school, and see if they can give you some of the information you require (that is not on the prospectus)

I just posted on this quite recently. DD got into a very academic local private school but I have decided to send her to the closer, more laid back, less academic school. It was a difficult decision. For what it's worth though I didn't not send her because I was worried that the school was too academic - it was that the other school was walking distance, seemed friendlier, was mixed (rather than all girls) and had better facilities.

So I wouldn't be put off by the league tables but neither are the be all and end all for me.

No
But DS1 has absoloutely sailed all the entrance exams and the highly academic enviroment suits him.
DD is only 6. Her school has fantastic results and she is doing very well but if she started struggling then I would move her in a heart beat.

TBH though I think that the situation depends entirely on the school.I am extrememly lucky as my childrens schools are fab and they love them. A school can be very academic without being a hothouse. I wouldn't put my child in a school I thought was a hot house

We are moving DD from a non-selective private school to a selective one (she's Y3). The non-selective school is lovely but the lack of other kids at her level is becoming problematic. Tthe school provides appropriate work but DD is the only child at that level and it's started to make her unhappy.The selective school we have chosen does have a very good feel and the pastoral care seems excellent. We have chosen it after rejecting a closer selective school which felt grim despite its outstanding academic reputation. We also like the fact that the selective school we've chosen doesn't do Y6 SATs.

My niece was at a v highly academic girls' school from Reception to Y2, but it becasme obv it was not the best place for her and she moved to a more relaxed school in Y3 which has worked out brilliantly. She didn't mind the move and has made lots of friends and everything is fine. You can always start at the school and see how it goes - it really is horses for courses as some children will truly thrive on a dollop of pressure and some will not. I wouldn't worry about swapping later on - children are v adaptable and it's not as big a deal as you think. I know plenty of kjids who have moved state to private at 7 or private to state and have done fine.

I could have written Kitsilano's post except that I'd be talking about senior level as we recently turned down a place for the most academic girls' school in the area (long bus journey) and chose the closest (co-ed) one which is a few mins' walk away.

We put DD into the closest private school when she was 3yo. I spent years worrying on and off that she wasn't being given good chances to grow academically but she has done the MIDYIS tests on entry at her senior school and is in the top 0.4% in the country (tested this year) so it can't have done her too much harm! She's also made lots of friends along the way and learned to appreciate that others have different strengths.

Her current scool doesn't have outstanding grades for leavers but it is excellent at helping children develop into nice young adults and discover and work on their talents. Each year those who are capable of achieving great academic grades do, whilst others do well in art, drama, music, etc.

Work out the get-out clauses available and also if you like the school. Liking the school far more important than academic considerations...

We went for the very academic one over the pastoral one, but only after establishing that they have a very informal policy with the pastoral school down the road such that any child who is not suited to the academic standards of the first can automatically transfer to the second - and indeed it happens to a very small number of children (because it is not selective at the entry levels but gets progressively more selective further up). We spoke to both schools and seemingly these 'transferees' do absolutely fine and have no problems making the switch (which doesn't surprise me as the pastoral school is, truly, very pastoral).

The informal policy did not work the other way though, and there was no 'promotion' of brightest children upward, and for this reason we thought best to start at the academic school as all options then still open.

SueW the 's you are describing sound exactly like my choices! And both go up to 18. Where are you based?

I'm reassured by your experience with you DD.

sorry - the schools

Kitsilano I am East Mids.

I went to the academic girls' school and after 5 years of waiting for a school bus, I swapped (big mistake) to the local sixth form. So for DD, we've opted for a short walk to school and encouragement/expectation for every child to achieve their best.

Sue am also in E Mids and facing a similar choice- can i be nosy and ask if TC one of the schools?

30something - yes

Marialuisa you're thinking of moving your dd? I thought you were happy at that school? We very nearly moved our dd's there in the Autumn - did we have a lucky escape?

Sue would you recommend TC? We are not sure - we've narrowed down our choice to there and NHS as DS has got both

30something DD is at TC and we chose it over NGHS. She went to TC's junior school and we live v close.

It was an agonising decision until the letter from TC arrived. She is really enjoying it.

If you want to know more you are welcome to contact me on suewmumsnet at gmail.com Don't want to bore everyone!

SueW and Kitsilano can I join in? DS1 has tests for both TC and NHS (infant) next week and I'm having doubts about NHS even though its our closest and easiet option!

Oh sorry SueW and thirtysomething!

Feel free to join in. I should come clean and say that I have, since DD got a place, joined the staff of both TC and its prep but I'm not not involved in academics or admissions.

But I'm still a mum who made a difficult choice about a year ago.

Well not a diff choice in the end but I agonised over it for about the previous 7 years!

why doubts over NHS fishnet? Don't know about the juniors but was really impressed by the seniors during an actual school day rather than open day. teachers were relaxed, in control and kids looked v. happy and interested. couldn't have been "staged" as we were the only ones looking round. every time DS has met a teacher there they've talked to him at his level without patronising. he clearly feels valued there - however as a parent my instinct was for TC at the outset as seems more laid-back, though the teachers he's dealt with have all been a bit "grumpy" (his words) and looked bored to me!!

that's reassuring Thirtysomething. Have posted on the other thread since was worried about hijacking this one!