in school today and saw something i did'nt really like......

[bubblepop]

after attending the nativity play, i was following reception children back to their class as I had come in as a helper to help the children get changed from their costumes.

one particular little boy (quite boisterous and cheeky in a fun way) did'nt want to go back to his class the same way as the others..he wanted to take his own route via another classroom. A teacher told him "no xxxx, this way please" and he argued with her. So, she grabbed his arm by the wrist and i could see that she had hold of him quite tightly,and escorted him in the right direction. I felt quite uneasy about the way she had hold of him..he did'nt resist but simply carried on argueing with her (!) but, oh well im not sure what it was..just did'nt feel right.

If he didn't resist and carried on arguing then it doesn't seem to have bothered him. What were you unhappy about?

If she was hurting him then yes, that is out of order. As he wasn't resisting I assume he wasn't hurting.

If fimly but carefully guiding him the correct way - then fine; not ideal but we don't know the background to it all, if this boy struggles with doing as he is told, etc.

what else could she have done? took the class the way he wanted to go? argued with him for 15 mins while everyone else waited quietly?

sounds fine to me,
she can't have just let him have his own route surely?

What would you have done? She needed him back in the classroom, presumably before a swathe of parents descended to pick up their chn.

I find it somewhat refreshing to hear of a teacher who dared touch a child. She'd probably got the measure of this young man.

Doesn't sound like she was hurting him. I hold my toddler by the wrist quite often near busy roads as she's a runner. It annoys her because she can't get free but it doesn't hurt her.
If he was as confident as you say, I'm sure he would have let her know if she was hurting him!

Good grief! Really?

to the original post not to any of the rational comments that followed

This sounds fine to me.

As long as he wasn't crying in pain and being dragged, it sounds a much better slution to an arguing and going-wrong-way child than letting him run out of the school gate, or whatever.

My heart goes out to teachers at the end of this very long term which ends in over-excited children!

Not wrong to handla a child but she was doing it the wong way - I am pretty sure she should have gone behind him with one hand on the top of each of his arms and kind of 'steered' him. I think that is what a teacher friend told me you have to do.

please tell me you are kidding. I am a reception teacher, also a mum, and when you have 30 kids and one is refusing to go back to class for whatever reason, a lot of times you have to take them by the hand and take them back. If the child was not resisting or crying out in pain, I am sure he was fine...good grief.

teaching assistant often has to do this with some of the children in ds1's class, ds1 being one of them. I'm fine with it. She won't hurt him and she does a better job of educating him than I would. Some children need a physical reminder to do as they are told. I am NOT saying then need to be hurt, just a gentle restraint, a hand on the shoulder, a nudge to be quiet, can be a whole lot more effective than countless ""sh!" "come on!" "because it's time to ..."

He didn't resist, he wasn't upset and he carried on arguing so obviously wasn't bothered. If she had dragged him or he was crying it would be different. She had already told him he couldn't and she had the rest of the class to look after. We they all supposed to stay there while she argued it out?

I watched my ds walking back to class the other day holding his teacher's hand (after end of term assembly - we were waiting to collect). I asked him later why and he said he was taking her back to the classroom! (he's 4).

If I'd seen similar at my ds's school I don't think I'd have thought twice about it. It isn't as if she was doing anything different to what a parent would do, is it?

Better to hold by the wrist than the hand. If they resist and you've got their hand, it's more likely to injure them as they twist.

Glad to see they still actually do this, what would you do at home just let the child carry on regardless and wander where he shouldn't.

Should she have allowed him to wander through the other class?

I saw a newish teacher trying to talk round a rowdy child from my DC's school when they were going from the church back to the school. I just wanted to shout over FGS take him by the arm and get him back to school safely. Instead she was doing the whole oh you can't touch them, wonder how she mangaged to get him along the roads back to school??? An how long it took her, and wholooked after her class until she got back.

Same school same teacher, the whole class had to leave the computer room so they could deal with a child having what sounded basicly like a tantrum, the whole class, FGS remove the disruptive child. If he was having a fit or something fair enough.

Oh yes and wrist is better than hand. Yes guiding him by the shoulders might have looked better, but as has been said not always practical, when trying to open doors etc, and perhaps from dealing with this child 5 days a week knew him well enough to know this was the best action.

What would you do if you were helping on a school trip if one of the children you had decide to go his own way?
I actually had nightmares about the other parents that might be helping on school trips and might be frightened to tell of a child or take them by the hand if needed.

Sounds fine. She asked, he refused, she led him by the hand. It's what I would do with my own ds and I would be happy for a teacher to do this.

Well actually by the wrist, which is both safer and also decreases the chance the teacher will catch a cold or a tummy bug.

Perhaps OP can tell us what she would have done-bearing in mind that she would also have a class of DCs and she needed the DC to do the same as everyone else.

oh ffs!