DD having trouble with a girls in class........

[npg1]

Hi. I maybe over reacting completely but need your advice on what you would do in this situation. DD has just gone into YR1, same class as reception but different teacher. This one girl who I will name X latched onto DD at beginning of reception, not letting her play with anyone else and is really bossy and always tells DD what to do. DD quite shy so goes along with it but is not happy as she wants to play with other girls. X does not like her playing with anyone else. Reception teacher kept them seperate in class but its playground that is the problem.

Now in YR1 and they have no seating plan so of course DD sits next to X all the time which im not happy about. DD has clarks shoes with dolls in and X had said geet your dolls out I want to play with them and insisted DD did. Next day we left them at home. DD got upset tonight and said she doesnt want to play with X anymore so i have told her to tell X DD is not playing with her today. Should I talk to the teacher in the morning?

I would, in a fairly hands off kind of way. Just say that dd seems a bit intimidated by x's attention and may need some help establishing other friendship groups

i had a word about a bossy madam in my dd's class in yr 1. teacher had a word.

things improved, not to say that this bossy boots doesn't try it on every once in while but i felt i had to speak to the teacher as it was obv of concern.

YEs, I agree with Harpo - kind of important your DD doesn't start to get negative associations with school because of X. A quiet word with her teacher, if you rate her/him, should be enough.

they have probably (hopefully!) noticed it anyway, a word from you may make them act on any concerns they may have had.

I agree Harpo. The teacher will be able to see if one dominant personality is sucking the life out of another child. I imagine it happens a lot. My dc's teacher swaps them all around really regularly thank gooodness.

npg1 my dd's just moved into Y1 too and is having different problems but I've decided to speak to the teacher about it which is embarrassing as I've never spoken to a teacher about anything other than at parents' evenings.

Anyhow I just wanted to say that dd's best friend had a very similar problem to your dd which also started in Reception but carried on into Y1. My friend never spoke to the teacher until it got so awful her dd was crying before school every morning. Eventually she broached the teacher and the teacher was fabulous at snuffing the problem out and now although her dd is still dogged by this girl she's very confident at telling her where to go. The balance of power totally shifted.

I was constantly on to the teacher in recpetion who was brilliant, but it's the playground where obviuosly the teachers dont really see it. I spoke to her numerous times. X is like it with alot of other girls but DD will just follow and not stand up for herself. I have now told her that she has to tell X she doesnt want to play with her, hopefully after DD has stood up for herself abit more X will leaver her alone. She didnt see X all summer so thought things would be different, last year is not any different to this year.

But you said she also forces herself to sit by your dd in the classroom now? The teacher can help with that at least. With my friend's dd we realised that as far as playtimes go that's when we had to prime her dd with stock sentences to say to the girl bothering her. Plus we also got a couple of her dd's new potential friends on board to reiterate the sentences. The girl really has backed off now.