My 7 year old Ds is in year 3 , but staying in class 2 - need advice

[ruby1709]

My ds is in year two and is in year 3 next term, but staying in class two. We had school report today which was very positive and good, we also had the results of his SATS he had 2's( which I believe is about average) the reason ( I think) he is being left in class 2 is because he lacks confidence in his own ability and up until this year was struggling socially, but has now three friends which he plays with all the time and are in his class at present, he has really bonded with these boys and this has increased his confidence 100%. My biggest worry( as i don't yet) is that these friends will move up to class 3 while ds will be left in class 2 and this i worry will put his level of confidence right back to the earlier days of school. Although he is popular he does find the school environment very intimidating and finds socialising hard.(but is a very different child at home or in more relax situations) I have spoken to his teacher several times and told her my concerns if this was to happen and basically all she said was "don't worry"!I going to see the head teacher tomorrow, would be really grateful for any advice/comments.

I think you need to put your concerns in writing, and ask for an appointment with the head teacher asap.

The issue of staying back a year is huge, and is something that the school should have been discussing with you in detail.

It does seem an odd decision to keep a child back when he has previously had socialising issues, but has now made a friendship group.

What reasons have the school given you for proposing that your DS stays in Y2?

Sorry, just re-read, and seen that you are going to see head teacher tomorrow.

is the class 2 a mixed class and some are going up/some aren't, or is it a yr2 class?

Generally I think it is unwise to hold children back, it can be demoralising and demotivating and difficult if as you say they have made friends.

I would want to ask

why they thought this would benefit them?
WHy they could not accommodate his needs within his current class?
What provisopns they had in placxe for helping your son feel confident within his own existing peer group?
Whether this was a social or academic issue

tvh I think they should be able to include your son in his own class, regardless of his indiviual needs. If you are not happy tell them.

Thanks so much for all the advice received so far it has really helped! I went to see head teacher today, but she was unable to see me as she was interviewing all day, but I have a appointment for monday morning. In answer to some of the questions, there has been no discussion between the teacher and myself about ds staying in this class except the one i have mention( I found out via the standard letter which tells parents of new classes)The school is very small ( only has around 83 pupils in total) and they do mix years i.e rep/class1-class2/3 and class 3 and 4 and in total there is only 3 classrooms and the way they work it in year 2 is if your child has struggled within this year, chances are they will stay for the further year in this class (I think around 6 are staying in this class but numbers are also a deciding factor, with the size of the school)I also found out today that one of the three friends are also staying in this class, which to be honest is a comfort to me as this has made ds feel more happy about this decision and may not have as much impact on his confidence as I first feared.
I am still very unhappy about how school has dealt with this and that there was no discussion with us regarding this decision as we are very concerned about him being behind a school year. would really appreciate any more advice

but he isn't actually behind a school year is he? This is the reason I asked about mixed classes, it is the same situation as our school, if there was a distinct "one year/one class" thing in place then it would be different I think.
Ours is a bit different, "class 1 - rec/part yr 1" and "class 2 - rest yr 1/yr 2" then "class 3 - yrs 3&4" and "class 4 - yrs 5&6", so in this situation I would be very unhappy with a single child staying in class 2 when the rest of the yr 2's moved up.
Numbers do play a big part, ie this year our rec was well over subscribed, they took them all (4 over numbers) and had a single rec class with all yr1&2 in a single class - but they could only do this because yr1&2 are small years, and the rec for next yr is small aswell.
You can ask the head to go through why hs is staying in class 2, and for assurance that he will be doing yr 3 work, and not repeating what he has done this year.
But the ultimate choice remains with the school.

Ours is different too in that R, yr1 and yr2 are mixed over two classes (not sure of exact details mine are older and ; and then yr3/4 and yr5/6 are two classes, so quite distinct.

I think you have every right to ask the Head or teacher to explain the situation to you, but agree with squirrels, the choice is the school's.

So are you saying that it is normal for the school's not to discuss with parents before they make a decision like this, I know secondary and above they won't, but I througt in first it would have been different? I have one child at school at the moment so i am not really sure how it works, but some friends have said that he will be behind a school year and that will effect middle school classes, if he does'nt catch up. I know some children struggle and if they are going to find the work too challenging it's better for them to be in classes based on their needs, but again they are only 7 and all children develop at different rates and I am really concerned that 1. ds will feel less confident next term , due to being separated from this class and it will confrim( in his mind) that he is not as clever as peers, and this will have negative effect, rather than a positive. and 2. He will not be learning same as yr 3 ( as i don't yet) and this will have a serious knock effect for the rest of his schooling. I feel "he's only 7 , why am i sooo worried" but i can't help it! when i see the head on monday hopefully i will feel less worried. Thanks for your advice,it makes a difference when you hear others views, i had never been on this site before Thursday( I am sooo glad i found it!) its fantastic! does anyone think it would be a good idea to write my concerns in a letter, or who this be too formal???

I hope my post can reassure you a little bit. Your son will not be behind a year and it won't affect middle school classes either. He will still be a Year 3 child doing Year 3 work. The teacher will be used to teaching mixed age classes and he won't repeat Y2 work. I teach mixed age classes which is how I know! Most schools wouldn't discuss a decision like this with parents although I understand you are worried. At my school we often keep the less confident children for an extra year. Usually it does their self confidence no end of good as it gives them a chance to be top dog for a year, and show the younger children routines, where things are etc. If the school handles it right it can be really, really good for them. I wouldn't write a letter just yet as I'm sure the head will be able to allay your fears. Hope this helps?!

Can I second sara......h's advice.

My dd1 was 'kept back' a year in year one, purely for logistical reasons. we were initially worried as she had made lots of close friends in her original class. All our fears were unfounded, she just ended up with twice as many friends, dozens of party invites and much more confidence from being top of the class!!

Thanks so much for your advice, it has made me feel loads better! also I am now understanding the reasoning for their decision, I am seeing head tomorrow and hopefully she will confrim this and that will diffently put my mind at rest. Ds is no way nearly as worried, see's it as a + he gets to stay in class with work, he thinks will be easy! and one of his best friends is staying too! and when they look at it like that, you wonder why you worry soooo much!! thanks again all the advice has been so helpful.

RUby, how did your meeting with the head go?

Hi unknownrebelbang,
It went well, she explained that he would'nt be behind a year( which is a relief!) and the main concern was his level of confidence and his handwriting and that in her experience less confident children benefit from being in this situation as they are given more responsibility in helping the younger ones, which in turn boasts their confidence. All I can do now is just wait and see, but I am more positive about this, now that we have spoken to the head. It was really nice of you to ask and I really appreciate it, Thanks.