Hi - just asking for a bit of advice. My son is 4 and has just started reception in a mainstream primary. He has been diagnosed with ‘ASD (previously Asperger’s)’ - this is what the Paediatrician wrote so I’m assuming that is level 1. He is advanced verbally and cognitively but struggled with SEMH.
He started primary school 6 weeks ago - the first 2 weeks were part time and so he has done 4 weeks full time. I asked for a meeting with the SENCO and his teacher last week because his EHCP was finalised two weeks ago and I wanted to talk about the provision. We had a meeting on Thursday, the SENCO said nothing and was called away after ten mins so it was just me and his teacher. She basically said they are doing everything in the EHCP, and also the added suggestions from the private SaLT and OT reports that I arranged (because the LA didn’t do them as part of the EHCP process), she said the provision isn’t right for him, they have tried everything they would usually try for a child with my son’s needs and nothing is working, he his still disruptive, dysregulated, there is a hitting/pushing incident daily, no understanding of personal space, can’t get him to focus unless it is something he is interested in. They said he is very interested in numbers and phonics but anything involving executive functioning, mark making etc he cannot focus and so is way behind what he is capable of. They said I should start looking for a smaller setting, maybe a village school as they think the volume of kids is causing the sensory overwhelm. His EHCP stresses how he needs calm etc. And they said short of getting rid of 50 kids (it’s a 2 form entry) then they don’t know what they can do. I have never had a meeting with the head. I’m a bit confused. Maybe a smaller village setting is what he needs, but I choose this school because I heard the SEN provision is good and apparently it’s inclusive. What should I do? I said could we wait until Christmas considering it has only really been 4 full weeks and she said that it’s best that I start looking for a smaller setting/plan B now. For context, his father died suddenly when he was a baby and this time of year is particularly difficult in the run up to the anniversary.
My son is very chatty, curious, inquisitive and really wants to make friends but struggles. He has a best Friday in his class who was also at nursery with him and they adore each other. He is generally lovely on play dates with one other child. He likes things his way, but tries so hard to be kind and share, he used to hit a lot but I haven’t seen it for a while. I don’t think he masks at school because he seems to be himself at home in the evenings, no meltdowns etc and has outlets for his sensory seeking. But in school I think he doesn’t say still, is very hard to get focused and is probably quite wild because he feels unanchored he needs feedback from physically contact so probably tried to climb on the teacher and TAs.
Perhaps the teacher is right that he could so with a smaller village setting, but I can’t help feeling that they would just rather he wasn’t their problem. There is a lot of unstructured ‘self-initiated play’ which I imagine he finds really hard, and not sure how much the struggle is this, or the amount of kids. They have put lots in place like a calm space, sensory breaks, now and next cards, more adults support etc. Any advice would be greatly received! I have arranged for a private SaLT for him to go into school for an hour a week, and he is having play therapy after school weekly because of some self esteem issues, the loss, grief, trauma etc.
Any advice would be very welcome. Do I move him to a village school? Or a private? Just mindful of private for SEN, partly because of the cost and partly because of how easy it would be to manage him out if they wanted to. He isn;t the kind of ASD kid who masks all day and melts down at home. they get the full force of the sensory seeking, easily dysregulated, spinning, stimming but very advanced verbally and cognitively.