DS not listening in reception

[RunnerMummy18]

Just need either advice or reassurance!

My DS has just started reception. We’ve had generally no issues and a great first two weeks but now he’s started not to listen at school and consequences don’t seem to work at school. He can be defiant and answers back to the teacher. It’s not constant but it is up and down throughout the day. He seems to be learning well enjoys phonics, remembers songs, he’s made friends.. but we’ve had the ‘quick word’ 4 times already.

He has consequences and rewards at home but it just doesn’t seem to translate into school.

he went to nursery and he was quite up and down there, I’m worried he’s learnt bad habits - he really got bored of nursery at the end.

He’s extremely bright and confident/social but does like lots of attention.

but I’m riddled with anxiety of it, I want him to do well and hate the idea of him stressing his teacher out who seems lovely!

Have you had his hearing tested? We thought my son's was fine, but he actually had moderate hearing loss. It's worse when he has a cold too, which they all seem to at the moment.

Yes a hearing test is worth trying.

Does he listen at home?

yes we’ve had a hearing test and it came back to say his hearing is below the normal range and suspected glue ear, we’ve been waiting for the next steps for months. Would that make him defiant though?

Definitely - imagine spending all day struggling to hear what teachers are saying, what your friends are saying, straining to catch words and still missing them. It's exhausting. Then someone has a go at you for not listening well enough when you've been trying, but it's too loud and you can't do it and noone appreciates the effort you've already made. So you think fuck this and get arsey about it.

@AnothercakeI’ve never thought of it like that! You’re completely right! I’ll definitely give the hospital a push tomorrow, it’s his second hearing test in two years and both were mild to moderate hearing loss!

Yep, absolutely. DS had recurring ear infections as a toddler, which contributed to speech challenges but also behaviour related issues. His hearing loss was intermittent as a result of when the infections popped up, and once we realised, you could track the uptick in tantrums, behaviour etc to the infections. Related to feeling poorly, but also because he had no clue what was going on.

If you think about it from their position, they're new in a school, trying to do well, listen, make friends etc and there's a lot of exciting stuff going on, but they can't follow it or make it make sense.

Whilst you're waiting for next steps, definitely worth having a chat with the teacher and senco and outlining the current situation, and asking them for assistance with visual timetabling and instructions etc

Best of luck! In the meantime it helped flagging with teachers what that level of hearing loss actually means - for us mild to moderate was described as my son being able to hear ok as long as the person was standing directly in front of him and talking to him in a silent room. So basically the opposite of a general loud classroom direction. They need to touch him to get him focus and make sure they are facing him specifically when asking him to do things.