Is it weird to do a school tour when you already have DC there?

[ThreeArmBandit]

I have DC in a primary school I'm very happy with. Youngest DD will be starting in 2027. I've booked her and me onto a school tour, as although she's seen playgrounds and the outside at drop of and pick up, she's only ever really gone in the hall for events, so I think it will be nice for her to get to know it a bit more. The school have also done a few things since I originally toured before eldest started so I'm also interested.

DH said I'm wasting the school's time as we will definitely send DD regardless, and also the teachers/ head etc on the tour will all think I'm odd for going (not a huge school so will be recognised). I thought it was a pretty normal thing to do but now DH has made me question myself!

Yes.

No. The child surely wants to see it and they are different and things change. I did it.

Yes its weird.

It’ll be nice for her to see round, I don’t really see the issue. I don’t think anyone will think it odd. We have school taster and tour events here and I will go to those with DD2 even though I did them with DD1 as the events are for her too. There were other current parents with younger siblings when we did them with DD1 and it wasn’t weird at all.

ETA: I am in Scotland though so no one is really choosing schools based off tours as you just go to your local school, so it’s just about seeing around where they will go.

Perfectly fine imo. Your DD is a prospective pupil so you have as much interest in a tour as anyone else.

X

I can understand you wanting your youngest to see the school before she joins. Does the school do an induction day or welcome afternoon or something for kids who are starting in the September? If they do, then I’d just wait for that and leave the tour places for people who are actually deciding.

I don’t think it’s weird.
You are doing it for your DC and seeing the school from a different perspective, other than the playground or school hall, will give her an idea of the layout and help her with transition.
I’ve seen plenty of siblings doing a school tour and I think it shows the parent is interested and invested in their childs next important stage in life.
I was more concerned with the parents that didn’t bother to be honest.

It’s normal!

I’ve never know anyone do that. But we don’t always take kids it’s just usually parents. I’d feel weird if I was already a parent there.

I taught in Scottish secondaties for many years. It wasn't unusual for parents with multiple children to come to one of our events on more than one occasion.

If it were just you, it would be weird but for your daughter, of course you do it. If your husband thinks it’s a waste of time, that’s for him to sort out in his own head. Why does his opinion on it matter to you?

Perfectly fine to bring the youngest to the open day. That way she can meet potential teachers, get an idea what the classrooms are like, see the fun play areas, and it will hopefully make transition into school less stressful.

It's for your child - there is nothing wrong with it.

We’ve done it and now doing it again for secondary. It’s also nice looking around again during a school day once an actual parent of a child there as you notice different things.

My kids have all been to the same primary, secondary, and sixth form. I’ve still done ‘the process’ with all of them as it forms part of my intention to give them all fair amounts of input and attention. The child hasn’t seen the inside and felt the classroom experience etc so IMO yes, they should have the same buildup and emotional preparation for entering a new place and a new phase of life. The school won’t care, they will have these viewings ongoing all the time, it’s normal, and takes about 10-15 mins if going outside of the regular school viewing. If it is the normal school viewing, then there will be about 50 other parents there anyway. No issue.

Honestly, I think a tour now, for a child not starting for a year, wont help them... and will more likely confuse them about why they arent going straight away. Depending on the age of your other children, i dont think its wierd going to open events now as parents. Unless you currently have a child in Reception, there will have been changes.

Do you mean you have a 1:1 tour or you’ve decided to join an open day? A 1:1 tour seems a bit over the top but if you’re just joining something they’re already doing I can’t see the harm (though would never have done this! Also in Scotland though so not like I wasn’t going to send my kids regardless!)

Whilst many who already have children at the school don't bother, I certainly don't think it's weird that you want to. I teach Reception, and we always have a few existing parents book onto our tours for their subsequent children. You're doing it for your child, as much as yourself. I promise the school won't think you're wasting their time. I'm assuming it's a general tour open to anyone, rather than a 1-1 tour you've specifically asked for? That might be a little strange, but booking onto a general tour they are running anyway certainly isn't.

Yes, it's a general tour. I don't want to take up a space another parent could be using that might need it more, but also they do have quite a few available so hopefully not all sell outs.

It's reassuring that I'm not the only one to do it!

Dh said I’m wasting the school’s time …

Sorry to ask but is your husband hard of understanding? What ‘time’ will you be taking up on a general tour?

Furthermore, your youngest child deserves exactly the same detailed approach to school preparation as her siblings. She may have questions or uncertainties of her own which should be resolved by the tour.

Do the thing that will ensure she’s not in therapy in forty years time asking why she was overlooked as a child.

It's a perfectly fine thing to do whether it's usual or not.

The people worrying that other people will find you 'weird' are letting out a bit of their own anxiety there. You shouldn't do something that will hurt or upset or inconvenience another person, but never stop doing something you want to do because someone else has decided it's 'weird'!

The school offer a tour. You want a tour. You're going on the tour. Perfect!

That didn't even enter my head to do that. I went to the primary school open day on my own without DD 1 so did everyone else there were no children brought along they just went to an induction day.

It's good for the children. You could be given information about the next academic year for Reception that wouldn't be of interest to anybody in Year 3/4/5/6. It's nice seeing the younger ones outside of a buggy in the playground at pick up. The younger ones smile if somebody appears to know them already because of their big brother/sister and in my opinion, they are happier and feel more secure during the transition knowing that Mrs X knows them/recognising Mrs X through the rest of the year.

It's not weird and it isn't a waste of staff time at all.

I booked on to a school tour with my youngest, even though all their siblings attended the school and I was a governor there. It wasn't about me. It was about my child. They had different issues to the others and different questions. So they got the chance to go and ask just like the others. Staff won't think you are wasting their time - they will be grateful you care and are willing to put the effort in!

This. You do it for the child.