I regret primary school choice, what should I do?

[BoyMum100]

So a bit of background, we had a big cross country house move last year. We found a house in a lovely town with a large primary around the corner. On paper it's a good school with new facilities. We enrolled my son into the on site preschool without viewing it due to distance. A few months after starting pre school I wasn't sure about the school, it's busy, large and inpersonal. It's very results driven and lacks a community feel, which is important to me as we don't know many people here. I viewed other smaller schools that were a drive away and preferred them. However, my DH and family both said a school within walking distance would be a no brainer, so I reluctantly put it down as my first choice, but never felt easy about the decision.

My child went from being quite outgoing to shy and didn't make many friends in pre school, wasn't invited to any parties although has done well, didn't love it but didn't hate it either.

Reception started a couple of weeks ago and I still feel the same. After speaking to another mum raving about a how good a small village school was, I enquired to see if they have any places and they do and have invited me to view it.

Sorry for the waffle but am I crazy to move a child who has just started Reception from a good on paper oversubscribed school?

Please stop making assumptions about small schools if you have no direct experience.

“it’s highly unlikely a small school would have a good choir”. Ours was excellent. They sang at local events, they sang in churches, they did things like Young Voices.

no, they didn’t have an orchestra, but they had the same music opportunities, with the same teachers, as all the other local schools. Teachers from the county music service came in for lessons - small groups or private. Wind, brass, strings, drums, guitar, piano. They could join the same local junior orchestras. None of the local primary schools, whatever the size, had an orchestra or ensemble.

obviously not all small schools offer this. This offer mainly came from county. Except choir. That was started by one fabulous teacher, then carried on by another when she left. But just because it’s a small school doesn’t mean it won’t have these opportunities.

@BareBelliedSneetch I have plenty of experience. For msny years I was an education manager for a LA. With 45-60 sc in the whole school I can tell you no choir will be the same as a big school. Whst you will get is dc taking part because there’s no choice.

And I know the school my children went to. 🤷‍♀️

I’m Not saying all small schools can do everything. But some absolutely can do things well, including music and sports. My children didn’t miss out compared to their friends who went to larger schools.

stop assuming all small schools are the same.

From seeing my PAN15 school sing at events with local PAN30 and 60 schools, I’d say the quality of the choir has a lot more to do with the passion of the staff, and less to do with the number of children available. Ours was every bit as good (and often better) than the large schools.

I hope this thread doesn’t descend into a big vs small school bore fest. You can only decide which school is best for your DC and it’s usually down to the staff and other kids, not the size of school. What I will say though is that you’d have thought be very unfriendly on a school run, I wouldn’t have caught your eye because I have to get to work so I don’t have the time. What I did do though is to put a note in the bag if a child that mine said they played with that day (the teacher did it for me) with my number and invited kids for play dates. I got to know parents that way. I don’t believe many are unfriendly simply busy, please don’t make that the reason you move him. Why don’t you try that for a few weeks and see if things pick up.

Is the village school stand alone or is it part of an informal grouping of primary schools? ... or perhaps managed by an academy?
These factors will influence it's viability for the future.
If you feel pretty sure that it is viable for the length of his primary schooling then go for it.
I was governor of a small rural primary for 10 years and it has such a warm atmosphere. Any limitations caused by size were dealt with by local cooperation with other small schools. There is so much flexibility to be innovative whilst still ticking the government boxes, and the school has huge support from the community.
I would go for the small option if your heart is telling you it corresponds with your child's character and needs.

Just as an example of how this small school is able to be flexible we employed one of our HLTAs who had musical skills to make music happen across the school. Every morning every child from pre school up is involved in singing, playing ocarina in KS1 or recorder in KS2 and in reading music from the white board.

Trust your gut and move them now. Now is best as the application window won't have closed so it will be straightforward.

A few children moved into my child's reception year (including my DC) over the year and they all adapted really well.

Not crazy at all, especially this early in Reception before friendships have really stuck. Walking distance is lovely when the place feels right, but if preschool already felt cold and KPI-heavy and you’re both now leaning the other way, it’s fair to take the village first school place seriously rather than waiting another year and still feeling the same. On the visit I’d dig into the tiny cohort stuff people have flagged — how mixed years work day to day, what the middle school handoff is like, wraparound, and whether winter on those country lanes is doable for your week. A dummy school-run at actual pick-up time helps more than another brochure.

If it’s useful when you’re weighing the big town one against the tiny first school, I’m developing a free comparison site for the South East that puts nearby schools side by side on the published stuff (Ofsted excerpts, size, distance) with no rankings — schoolcompass.uk. Handy for lining the boring facts up before you decide.