Kid fight.

[ByZippyBlueCrow]

I have a dilemma how best to deal
With a situation. My twins are in a class with a boy who they are friends with but can be quite mean to them. He has a few times been physical with my boy twin (who gives it back too). He has also pulled my daughter’s hair before.
Well there was in incident in the park in which my twins were pushing and kicking this boy. When I asked my twins were so upset because the boy had pulled a chunk of my daughter’s hair out. However, now the parents are basically saying my twins are the aggressors when the boy is almost always the instigator. I feel like really irritated but I don’t want any bad blood.
what’s the best course of action, talk to parents, just say sorry, talk to school, ignore. I don’t really fancy getting the twins to apologise as it’s usually him and also he kind of sort of deserved it 🙈. They are only 5!

Who was supervising in the park?

You don’t want your twins to apologise?

irrespective of the past incident, you’ve been told your twins were the aggressors in this situation.

Have you ever raised concerns about the boys behaviour?

How do these fights/arguments start? Does the kid just randomly come to your kids and starts pulling their hair, or are there words exchanged first? Why weren’t they being supervised at the park?

Never, ever talk to the Parents. I can’t imagine a situation where that will work out well.

How many classes are there per year? If it’s more than one I’d ask for the DTs to be in a separate class from this boy.

The School does need to be aware so that they can keep an eye on them during activities and breaks. I’d also point out that it’s for the boys safety too as once the trouble starts it’s two against one.

This, are your twins telling the age old… “he started it!” Or teachers?
given that there’s 2 of them kicking and pushing him, there’s 2 sides and then the truth isn’t there!

If someone pulled a chunk out of my daughters hair I guarantee her brothers would get involved

Is there any evidence of this though?

I get that by 5 you hope that you can be a bit more hands off at the park but it really sounds like these two need very close supervision around their peers. I'd be mortified if my kids got to the point of a fight like that at the park.

Its always better to go through the school than confront a parent yourself though. I'd be doing that while focussing on my own DCs behaviour.

When i had an issue like this, i invited the mum and boy over for a play date so we could supervise and see what was actually going on. They were both winding each other up but actually played really nicely when we gave them stuff to do and helped them sort issues out.

It will be a bit of your kids and a bit of this other boy what ever they are telling you.

IME the best thing to do is keep them apart outside school and talk to the teacher about doing the same at school. Rather than trying to ascertain blame which is always tricky in these situations.