Do primary school best friends change throughout the year?

[Essecks]

Is your child still friends with their best friend that they made in reception? Especially if you’ve got a boy. My boy is going into year one and is best friends with a boy he’s picking up some really bad habits from. I know it’s definitely from him because he won’t do it at home, but he’ll do it out on play dates with the other boy when he sees the other boy do it. Mainly aggression towards his mother. I don’t want to discourage the friendship cause they seem to love each other a lot, and tbh I don’t think this other little boy has any other close friends, I’m just kind of holding out hope it’ll fizzle.

How big is the school? Do lots of kids move in and out the school?

For the most part the boys stayed roughly the same wider friendship circles but it changed within that for my son's year.

The problem with primary is the limited pool of kids.

DS had a best friend in reception. By the end of yr6 they are still best friends but now have new friend they picked up in yr3 when he joined.

Going to high school I expect them to stay with the same friends throughout but a lot of the other boys to make new friends.

My now 20 year old is still friends with her best friend from Reception. Although it's been very up and down how friendly they were in any given year and some years they didn't really talk at all (not helped by school mixing up classes etc).

My now 22 year old remained continuosly best friends with his best friend in Reception until they had a huge falling out when they were 15.

However ... my children not withstanding, in answer to your question, there is a lot of chopping and changing of friendships in early primary school. If you're unhappy with a particular friendship it is worth asking the teacher to keep an eye on it and/or encourage other friendships.

It depends is the only answer!

My DD is still best friends with her EYFS best friend and they are in their 20s.

DS hasn’t seen his since leaving Y6!

Absolutely they can change. They may still be friends to some degree with most of the same children throughout primary, but 'best friends' can definitely chop and change over the years. New children joining the class can really change the dynamics over the years. Some children mature quicker than others, which means they naturally start gravitating towards different children. Some children do the same clubs out of school, which brings them closer together etc.

How big is the school? In larger schools with 2+ form entry, they often change the classes each year which can have an impact on 'best' friends. If that is the case at your school, you could even put in a quiet request that the boys are split for Year 2, if possible, if the friendship is still proving to have a negative impact on your son's behaviour.

How easily does your son make friends? You can try to arrange play dates with some of the other children to encourage new friendships.

There's every chance things could change over the coming year. You could have a quiet word with the teacher too, asking them to keep an eye on their behaviour together and try to gently encourage both boys in different directions where appropriate (sitting them on different tables, pairing them both with different sensible influences for different activities etc).

As a teacher I’ve seen friendships change from term to term! Frequently! I’ve been teaching 30 years

My DS is still kind of friends with year R besties but in year 4 they drifted apart and he met a new tribe including one that had just started.

Now going into yr 7 they're all in the same tutor group.

If you're not happy with stuff, maybe chat to teacher to get them to encourage other friendships and by the end of the year you could always request they're separate if there's more than one class.

One form entry primary and I would say boys tend to stick together in a group owing to shared interests / play but the "best" friends in that group change.
The other point is that behaviour changes too. There is much more structure and focus on behaviour in KS1 in my experience. Poor behaviour is nipped in the bud and caught much quicker. Don't write a child off for being "the naughty one" in reception and expect that to stay the same throughout primary.

I have this but they are still friends for the past 3 years! The friend is good at heart, but his parents don't correct bad behaviour, and is very rude to his mother - telling her to shut up, that she's ugly, stupid etc. Kids can change vastly in behaviour, so you can try and hope he'll grow out of it, in a way it's not his fault. When he's with us on playdates I don't tolerate bad behaviour and I also tell mine to improve his friends behaviour for his own good. DS fortunately still does mostly behave as an angel.

I think friendships can be quite fluid. Often kids start out being friends with the children their parents are friendly with and then they end up making friends on their own terms. I do think other posters above are also right that a small pool can make things a bit tricky. I suspect that’s often why there can be quite dramatic shifts in friendships at senior away from the primary ones.

Mine all changed year 5/6 then again in 7/8 and settled by year 10 with friends they still see in their 20s