Place at 1st choice school available

[TheBlackHorse]

Hi,
I was really torn on a local village school (4 miles away) or our local school (4 streets away) and spent a lot of time feeling really stressed and anxious about which school to put as our 1st choice. My partner was very keen on the village school. I was so torn that on the deadline application day I still couldn’t choose. Both schools would be fine but I think I was taking a more practical approach with it as DS1 will go this year and his brother will go in two years time so I will be the one doing the school run for quite a time!

The village school only takes 15 whilst the local school is a 45 intake. In the end, as we knew the chances were slim, we thought we’d put it down to fate and see what came back if we put the VS as first choice. We did that and then found out we hadn’t gotten in. I felt somewhat relieved as the decision had been made. We have now done our inductions and settling sessions for the local school and DS is excited. Today I’ve received an email to say there is now a space for DS at the VS. I haven’t told my partner yet as I know he will just rush into it and say we need to accept. I coincidentally went to the local school so worry my views may be swayed by that but we’ve only heard positive things about the school whereas I haven’t heard from parents whose children go to the VS and Facebook posts haven’t had responses about views on the school.

I genuinely don’t know what to do and as a very indecisive person I wish I hadn’t had this email come through as it feels like such a massive decision! I fear that if DS struggles with something like bullying at the local school and I turned down the VS, I’ll always have it in the back of the head that it’s my fault and he could’ve have gone somewhere else. My partner is keen on the village school as he says it will be a better class of families going there but I think they have to mix with all types of people in life.

Family have said previously how convenient it will be to have a school within walking distance. The village school is where my horses are and I’m not going to let that rule my decision but one of my hesitations initially putting the VS as first choice was how I would manage to do the horses with two little children in tow as it didn’t seem sensible to drive to the school in rush hour traffic, then drive home in rush hour traffic to drop them off, then have to go back later.

Not sure how long I have to decide as the council haven’t put that on the email but it’s obviously a big decision. I’ve thought maybe he could see how he goes at the village school and if doesn’t get on could go back to the local school as it isn’t currently oversubscribed on last check but obviously the worry is if you give up your place then not guaranteed to get back in!

please help! X x

Local school that you can walk to, larger intake, more chance of finding friends.
15 is horribly small, especially if friendship group goes wrong.
Better class of people at VS sounds snobby. 15 isn't even enough for 2 teams in most sports.
Your DS has been to your local school and enjoyed it.
DN went to village school. The Range Rover families moved their children all the time on ridiculous whims.

Take the closest school. You’ll be going there everyday for 9 years, and your kids will make friends locally. This will be very useful as they get older.

What is the sibling criteria for the village school? If there is some distance criteria applied e.g.
Siblings in catchment
Catchment
Siblings out of catchment

...consider what are the chances of your youngest getting in

The local school sounds better in every way.

More peers means he's more likely to find friends.

Closer so no need to drive or park plus local friends.

More diverse.

Bigger so more resources, clubs, opportunities and funding.

I genuinely cannot think of any reason you'd want him in the other school to be honest.

Local school. Already done the transition so really wouldn’t be fair to change now.
The local school will have more staff, more space and DC will have increased access to a wider range of resources and opportunities.
It’s not practical to have young children in tow before school whilst you see to your horses. That wouldn’t work.

Walkable school you are happy with allllll day long. Believe me, when they are older and start going to friends houses, so much easier locally

Local school in walking distance always unless there is a really good reason not to. There are so many soft benefits of being in walking distance and part of the local community.

You haven't presented a "really good reason not to" here; why does your partner prefer it?

Don’t underestimate how much easier the closer school will be. I’ve just finished the Primary school school runs after 10 years for two kids - half of that living close and walkable, the other half a ten minute drive away because we moved. If you will be doing the majority of the school runs I think this is a big factor for consideration. Much easier when we lived closer for play dates/friends activities in the local community. I’d prefer the 45 intake to smaller as easier for making friends and also changing groups if any friendship issues arise (as is natural during the whole course of primary school)
Also as PP I would also consider the sibling admissions criteria if you need it in the future.
A big decision and you’ll never know for definite - you just have to go with your gut.

Agree with this. 2 years in, and DD's school is 10 minutes walk. That is a pain in the arse, but every day I thank my past self for putting me into a position where I don't have to drive/park etc or walk any further with a 6 year old in tow (plus the school is great).

The short walks are amongst my most treasured parts of the day as it is when DD and I have some quality time and some of our best conversations.

Agree with everyone else – more local, larger school all day long.

• Walkable is such a bonus – quicker, nicer, calmer, no parking or roadwork panic
• Walk home from school is so nice, chat about the day, as @Posywosey says. Lovely
• Local friends – for parties and playdates and just going to the park on a summer evening
• Bigger intake – more chance of friends
• Intake of 15 is very small, that’s about half a dozen other boys, not ideal
• YY to the point about your other DC getting in – they might well be a long way down the list
• Do not under estimate the benefit of your DC walking themselves to and from school once they are in year 5/6 – I know it seems unlikely now but it’s such a bonus and impossible if you drive to school

Everything you mention says the local school. Your DP’s “better class of people” is hideous if that’s what they actually think. Also totally irrelevant IMHO.

You mention what if there was bullying etc, yoh would feel guilty. In the local school, children in each year group will be split across 2 or 3 classes, depending on how they arrange things, giving more options if there are any friendship issues.

It's easy for your DP to say choose the village school when he isn't the one doing the daily commute for the next decade or so.

In your position, I chose the village school. It was definitely the right choice for us and when DC was in y5, we moved to the village. It meant DD was in a feeder for a much better high school and we had v good reasons to reject the local school.

I’m biased because I teach in a village school thats smaller than yours and I think it’s the most wonderful place - as do all the families. We have quite a lot of families who travel quite far to us and joined us mid year after trying their local schools. They say it’s the best thing they did but that was because we were right for their child. What do you think would be best for your child. Not you or your husband. Your child. Do you think he’ll thrive in a big class or is he a child that would get lost in there?

I think that's a great point about what suits the child (although hard to tell) but presumably an oversubscribed school with a PAN of 15 has 30 in a class, apart from maybe Reception, unless that is linked with a nursery class. Whereas a local school with spaces may be running slightly smaller classes.

15 in the whole year? Not enough dc, I would never chose this as a much smaller pool of friends and any fallout involves most of the class!

I’d just like to say that we have much smaller numbers than that where I work and this isn’t an issue that happens often!! In fact the friendships the children make are the closest I’ve ever seen! we still see the old pupils a lot and they’re all still friends!

As others have said a small school offers a smaller pool of friends. It just takes a few queen bees to make this a miserable experience for some children. It also makes it more likely they will have vertically streamed classes with more than one year group in the same class. Local will be better socially too also more likely that siblings will get in- you only need a bulge year to end up with DCs in different schools!

Quite a few small intake primaries round here are shutting down, due to the falling birth rate.
I would worry that the village school may not exist for the length of (both) your children’s primary education…
And a short walk to school is ideal for all the reasons PPs have outlined.

Small can be lovely for infants but stifling and limiting for juniors. I’d go for the closer school. When you have a 3/4 year old it’s hard to imagine what might suit then at 9 but there are real risks in a single form entry school and even more so with a very small year group. It is very hard to expel a primary aged child so being stuck with difficult characters for the entirety of your schooling is not ideal. That happened to us and was not a risk I could have imagined when my daughter was tiny. The larger school will likely have more flexibility, more clubs, more opportunities.

Does your husband have to deal with the longer school run? Sounds like as youre doing the horses you'd be expected to do the school run too.

My DH was more keen on a private school option than me, but due to our work logistics he wouldnt have been driving twice a day and fighting for a parking space. Very relieved we now walk to a more local option.

Personally a larger and closer school would be my preference, though I'd definitely say not too late to change if you loved option 1. It just doesnt sound like you do

It's a no brainer for me. You like the local school. You've heard good things. Your child has been to settle in sessions. You can walk, so don't need to worry if you have car trouble or it there are problems on the road. He'd be able to walk himself to and from school when he's older, and play out with local friends rather than always relying on lifts to see his mates out of school.

An intake of 45 makes much more chance for friendships than 15. Your argument about "what if he's bullied?" is flawed, as exactly the same could happen in reverse and you'd be left thinking "what if we'd sent him to the local school where he originally had a space instead?". So I wouldn't let what if thoughts sway you, as you would still have them whatever choice you make.

If you hated the local school I could understand your dilemma, but as you like it I don't understand why you're even letting thoughts of this other school enter your head. You wouldn't keep visiting houses that newly appear on the market after having an offer accepted on a house you're totally satisfied with would you? This is the same principle. You've been allocated a school which ticks all the boxes. Many families don't get that luxury. I'd definitely settle for your lot on this one, rather than keep shopping around. If things happen further down the line which put you off your allocated school, that would be different and I could understand you looking elsewhere, but it makes no sense in your current circumstances.

Your partner is being selfish putting this pressure on you to take the kids to a less convenient school, given that it will be you doing most of the drop offs and pick ups, just so he can say his children go to a leafy village school. Tiny village schools might seem like a wonderful environment for a Reception child just starting out on their education journey, but by KS2 the lack of scope for friendships in their own year group can be really stifling for some children. An intake of 45 is still on the smaller side (compared to schools with a PAN of 60 or 90), but not too small. I'd say it's the perfect compromise for a family unsure whether to go for a smaller school or a larger one.

The 'better class of family' argument is very short sighted (and stuck up) too of him. I totally agree with you that it's better for your child to mix with different children.

Definitely stick with what you've got. It would be totally senseless to switch now.