Prize giving in reception

[Newtothis4921]

My daughter’s school did prize giving today. They gave 11 out of 22 reception children certificates for things like reading, writing and commitment to learning. That’s over half the class! I’m furious.

Is this normal? It seems so cruel to just leave 10 with nothing.

The parents of kids getting prizes were told, so they all went to prize giving, I didn’t even realise prize giving was for academic prizes I thought it was for sports day. The look of shock on the other mum’s face at pick up when we realised we were one of the few not at prize giving as so many kids had prizes completely matched my own. I felt a bit sick.

Luckily my daughter hadn’t noticed too much but I’m so so angry. She hasn’t missed a single day of school this year, she struggled with phonics at first and then worked so hard and caught up with everyone, does her reading books every day and she’s so so shy and even was brave enough to do show and tell a couple of weeks ago. I was so proud of her. To then see loads of kids get certificates for commitment to learning just makes it look like they think the other 10 kids didn’t try. Her confidence struggles anyway so just feels really mean.

Surely it’s more normal to do 3-5 prizes if you are going to do them? Am I being over protective or is this weird?

What is normal at your schools?

That is weird. Is it a private school? Or state?

State school

Just realised it was 12, not 11, who got prizes. Out of only 22

Prize giving in reception is pedagogically questionable.

I don't really agree with prize giving before Year 4/5 if at all in Primary. Certificates occasionally throughout the year, yes. My relative just received a "Most Academic of the year" - age 8.

I would send HT an email telling him my thoughts.

Yeah I spoke to HT this morning and she sort of admitted they might have got it wrong, and then I followed up with an email to HT and reception teacher and they have apologised but now I also feel guilty for making them feel bad during their last week of term. Eugh the mum guilt.

But I’m still so upset, I feel really sad for her and their apologies don’t really help as it’s done now it’s not like they can un-do it 😢

If your daughter didn’t notice and was fine then you need to be very careful that you don’t upset her yourself.

Yeah I will, and we’re going to get her a little end of year pressie saying how proud we are. She’s a bit sad as she’s noticed her best friend got star of the week twice and her only once, and that friend also got a certificate, so I just feel sad for her (but she’ll never know that!)

I think your feelings are valid, but posts on here this week show how schools really can't win on things like this. People moan if awards aren't given to anyone, people get annoyed if awards are given to some but their child doesn't get one, people claim awards are pointless if everyone gets one. The politics of it all drives the staff mad as much as it does the parents.

Whilst the system may seem unfair to you, half of the class did not get an award. Your daughter was not singled out, therefore I don't think the school have done anything majorly wrong here. The hurt over not receiving an award would have been the same if just 3 awards had been given, or 6 awards had been given. She was not the only one left without an award, half of her peers didn't get one either. So I'd just treat this as a life lesson to her that we won't always receive awards for hard work, but if she keeps working hard it could be her turn another time. It's tough, but it's life.

Mine has just finished primary. Never recognised for anything and it hurts when the same ones are celebrated over and over. I’m glad to be out of it tbh!

also even though you say 12 were given prizes, trust me it never gets easier even when it’s a smaller number and if your child is constantly overlooked.

They can definitely get it wrong. Awards for 50% of a reception class is batshit crazy.

@Newtothis4921 manage your daughter’s expectations on anything to do with awards. We had to do this early on as despite being a top student, my daughter didn’t win a single award in Primary School. Her reports, particularly for English were outstanding. Her teachers frequently commented on her writing skills being exceptional for her age (she even won some non school competitions for it) Then she got to P7 and won an “Endeavour” award simply because she is disabled. She’s just been sidelined for school captain at high school in favour of some bullshit “inclusion” group, despite meeting every single criteria for Captain.

Unfortunately awards for top students have gone out of favour for brilliant students in favour of more “most improved” student. Those are important for sure, but it means the ones who are grade A students (or not sporty) are missing out.

What percentage of children awarded wouldn't be 'batshit crazy' in your opinion? I can guarantee, everyone's opinions on this will be completely different. As I said, schools can't win whatever they do!

Do I think 50% of children awarded (and therefore 50% not) is ideal? Probably not. However, no percentage is 'ideal' as you can never please everyone. Even when schools award everyone, they get accused by some of bowing down to the 'everyone wins' mentality and people say the awards are meaningless (which personally I agree with, but I understand other people would prefer it if everyone got a token award).

Do I think awarding 50% of the children (and therefore not awarding the other 50%) is a disgrace? No. Awarding all bar a few in the class would be disgraceful. If just as many aren't awarded as those who who are though, that's not too bad. The school probably believe this is a 'fair' balance. You can never please everyone.

Our private school does end of year certificates from nursery to Yr 6, and 100% of the class receive one, with a handwritten statement for what the certificate is for (enthusiasm in PE, careful listening in phonics etc). It's lovely and each child shakes the HT's hand as they stand up to receive it in front of parents. I always think it must be tedious for the teacher to think up all the permutations of what to write. I don't think any of our parents would ever complain about that being an "everyone wins" mentality, but it's a non-selective school and has a very broad ability range.

I quite like how DS's reception did prize giving. It was the same concept across Reception to Year 2. They gave every child a certificate in something they had really excelled in this year (Maths, Phonics, Handwriting, PE etc.) and then they had 4 'special' awards per class that 4 children per class got on top of their certificate.

I thought it was a great way to make all kids feel included and recognised for their hard work and efforts but also leaning into early lessons of 'real life' where not everyone gets a special award and not everyone can 'win' at the same time.

The kids overall seemed really happy and pleased regardless of whether they got a special award or not. So it seems to have worked for everyone.

I think the tipping point is when the majority of kids get one. That's when the message goes from telling the winners well done to telling the withouts they're not as good as most of the class.

I wrote an annual email to kids school but still 3/4 year 6 children left feeling that they had done nothing worth celebrating at primary school. Not unkind, not disruptive, just overlooked. It makes me sad.

They could have a standard "personal achievement" certificate and call them up together to save the teachers extra work. A generic speech about how everyone has something they've improved, giving examples that the children can choose to apply to themselves (i've gotten much better at my anger management, I've really worked on my handwriting).

I’d make a certificate and send it to her in the post / pop it through the door