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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

shall i take him out of school?

28 replies

oops · 04/12/2007 23:07

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moondog · 04/12/2007 23:10

You need to go in and talk to the staff and get to the bottom of it.
Poor little lad.

S1ur · 04/12/2007 23:13

I also think it depends how long you're staying there for.

Def go into shool, they should be prepared to be inclusive of all kids, incuding transient ones and find ways to ease introduction to new ways.

Original poster

oops · 04/12/2007 23:18

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moondog · 04/12/2007 23:19

How fucking ridiculous!
They can make time to discuss it.It's their job.Phone and make an appointment.

notjustmom · 04/12/2007 23:24

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Original poster

oops · 04/12/2007 23:26

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moondog · 04/12/2007 23:29

Oh dear Oops.
Well in view of your past troubles,it is even more important that his schooling is a settled and happy time for him with everyone crystal clear on what he needs.

Make a little list of the points you want to cover and take it in as it is very easy to get sidetracked or distracted by a rampant toddler.

Original poster

oops · 04/12/2007 23:37

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controlfreaky2 · 04/12/2007 23:47

me again! not staliking you honestly, well only in a supportive way .
i think they are indeed v likely linked.... if there is a problem at school or if as you say its just that the school is full of rules / strictness then i'm not suprised a sensitive 4 year old explodes after school.... he will be v tired and will have had to "behave" all day...... i think this is v common but he has a load of stuff to deal with on top..... and you are (understandably) weary.....
why not try to sort things out in an appointment then see how it goes before deciding whether to take him out or not? is he saying he doesnt want to go?

Original poster

oops · 04/12/2007 23:50

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controlfreaky2 · 04/12/2007 23:56

do they have "lunch ladies" at break as opposed to the teaching staff?
my ds1 was terrified of his lunch lady at your ds's age (but never told me until much later).

S1ur · 04/12/2007 23:59

You poor lovely boy sounds like he's going through the mill a bit at the moment. Fleeing from anywhere for whatever reason is enough to unsettle anyone! Let alone haviong to make new friends with less support than is needed from the teachers/grown up strangers around.

I think you need to be a boit straight with school. Doesn't need to be assertive and feisty I reckon a bit of honesty might help. Explain this is a hard time but that you value school as a stable environment and want their help making ds feel safe and happy there. Remember to come out having decided some concrete strategies and actions they and you are going to take.

A kind of "so what can we (them in particular!) do to help my gorgeous boy who just wants to come to your school and learn and be happy!"

Original poster

oops · 05/12/2007 00:00

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juuule · 05/12/2007 08:00

Could you go in at lunchtime for a few days and see what is happening?
If it's only lunchtime that's the problem, could he come home for lunch?
Twenty minutes doesn't seem long for a 4yo to have their lunch.

throckenholt · 05/12/2007 08:11

Mine have all got overtired just from being in school to start with and that tends to make them angry at the end of the day - so maybe it is partly that.

Also they are not able to really say who is who at school - even though they do know them and will happily play with them even if they don't know their names. And trying to get sense out of them as to what happens at lunchtime is impossible.

I would htink 20 mins is enough for a hungry child to eat if they want to (one of mine is a hellishly slow eater at home but seems to clear his lucnbox at school). I would just make sure they get a snack when they get home if they didn't eat all their lunch.

Having said that, I would be tempted to not send him if you think it is all getting too much - especially if he is moving schools again in the new year.

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 05/12/2007 08:14

Poor thing. His world is a bit upside down really.

When are you moving back home do you know?

I would make an appointment to go in asap and try and get to the bottom of what is happening. I would say "right - we have had problems with the milk and the PE kit and now lunch, please tell me each and everything that we need to do to ensure my child is treated the same as the others as that is partly what is upsetting him".

I would imagine the behaviour towards his brother is him being angry about everything else and taking it out on the one person he is bigger and stronger and older than.

I have to say that with such a short time left of this term I would be tempted to take him out although then he will miss all the nice Xmas stuff that will be going on.

juuule · 05/12/2007 08:26

Some of mine wouldn't find 20mins long enough. But they chat.
Thinking a bit more about it, I think I would take him out. If he's only staying until the end of term anyway then there isn't really much time for him to settle now and if he did then it's more disruption for him when he leaves.
I also agree that it's quite possible that his behaviour to his brother is linked.

needmorecoffee · 05/12/2007 08:46

If the school wont sort it, take him out. He's still little and doesn't have to be in school legally until the term after he is 5 (unless you home educate then he never has to go)
You'll be giving him the message that he is important to you and that he is listenend too.

Original poster

oops · 05/12/2007 23:37

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controlfreaky2 · 05/12/2007 23:40

glad things sound a bit better!

Original poster

oops · 05/12/2007 23:50

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moondog · 05/12/2007 23:52

Original poster

oops · 05/12/2007 23:57

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moondog · 06/12/2007 20:30

Who knows Oops?
Current consensus seems to be that MMR not to blame for stuff like this but plenty of MNers would disagree.

The key is to be aware of his needs and make others aware too.
Hope 2008 is happier and more settled for you all.

Original poster

oops · 07/12/2007 00:22

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