Newbie to Private Ed

[70Beangirl]

Hello

This is a bit random and Im new here so looking for some helpful advice.
We've decided to change our DD, 8, to a private school, we'll be making some cuts, one car etc and we're happy with that.
I'm worried that I wont know whats 'in' for her. I know that people might be kind and say that its not important, and its not overly but I want her to fit in, she never asks for anything and I'd like to get her a couple of with it things to help her confidence and be able to talk to other girls. I've not a scubbie what is in or what it even could be.
Any helpful advice, ideas would be really great.
Thanks
xxx

Private school children like the exact same things as state school children the same age. You might get the odd one with a pony but honestly you are overthinking this. Buying her stuff won’t help her make friends or “fit in”.

I think it’s good that she doesn’t pay attention to ‘stuff’. I wouldn’t get her into the mindset of needing material things to ‘fit in’. Just speak together teacher about helping her settle in.

speaking as a former child who never quite "fitted in" at school, I think it is more important to instill a sense of security and self-respect such that a child doesn't feel inferior if they don't conform to typical expectations, rather than worrying about providing them with the right fashionable "stuff"

You get a small number of very well off families at independent schools but a huge number of families sacrificing luxuries in order to pay for it. In my experience it's less about what they have other than in a few cases and more about long family history of attendance which can affect someone ability to fit in. There's also a huge number of children who's parents would never be able to afford to pay, grandparents and family/godparents paying because several generations have been to a particular school.

Agree with poster above....

I moved my daughter in yr4 from a small village primary. It was all very straight forward and really you don’t need to worry.

The one thing I did find is that because the uniform rules are very strict, the girls in my daughters year valued any small area of individuality. Pencil cases and their contents seem to be important.

The school give you a list of what they need, but most had lots of extras. Nothing expensive or flashy but things like highlighters, gel pens, glue... so they could make their work look pretty if they wanted.

I took my daughter to Smiths after the first few weeks to pick up a few things that she was envying in her friends’ pencil cases.

They are also allowed to “decorate” their regulation school bags with a few key chains etc so my daughter chose a few little charms that represented some of the things that were special to her.

Each school (state or independent) will have its own 'trends' for school bags/pencil cases/shoes etc - the poster who suggested going shopping after a week or so at the new school is spot on. She can then choose any stuff she fancies.

But in terms of settling, you being generally positive and keeping the communication open with her in the first few weeks is waaaay more important.

good luck to her.