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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Is ANY child absolutely fine with starting Reception?

75 replies

Elf · 27/09/2007 14:15

I've been reading a few threads here and as it is that time of year I was interested to hear not about the children who are finding it tough starting school but those who are apparently fine.

In my opinion, most schools prefer the 'leave her and she'll be fine in five minutes' approach which frankly I don't buy into as it can go on for days/weeks etc.

Anyway, please let me know if your child started Reception with no worries. And any opinions as to why that was. Thanks.

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NAB3 · 27/09/2007 14:17

My son started at 4 and 5 months and cried twice. He ws fine other than that.

My DD has just started and we have had 3 lots of tears already but she went in with a friend from ths gate today and was fine.

wildpatch · 27/09/2007 14:19

dd started wiht no worries. as did ds2 a few years ago. as did ds1 many years ago.
no problems at all.
personally i think its the mom's with the problems. not the children. and i think they put their own issues on to their children. iyswim.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 27/09/2007 14:19

dd2 settled in straight away. no shyness nothing.

she can be unsocialable and has a lovely air of generally not caring what other people think.

BUT we have always talked about school positiviingly, i have never said in front of her how much i will miss her when she is at school, as i think a child doesnt need to know that (i think most know that anyway), and just taht i will see her at the end of each day. she goes into school smiling, and apparently doesnt stop all day.

dd1 was the same as well.

i dont know if its anything i am actuaklly doing or if its just pure fluke.

bozza · 27/09/2007 14:19

My DS started reception fine in terms of what you are talking about. But it took a lot out of him and he was poorly, he was tired, he was irritable. But apart from his time off sick, most of the fall out was at home. He was happy to go to school every morning but wacked every evening.

zubb · 27/09/2007 14:19

Ds1 did - his main complaint in the first couple of weeks was that he had to go home just after 3, and couldn't stay at school until it was dark!
Why? I'm not sure - he was very familiar with the school, and had been in the reception classroom a lot with pre-school. A lot of kids he knew were there as well - although the 3 that he was closest to at pre-school didn't go there, and he soon made friends with other boys. We had talked a lot about how amazing it would be to be at school, and he was very excited about it.
He is quite a quiet boy - will observe before getting involved, but he loved school from the first minute he was there.
Ds2 starts next September and is already asking every day if it's today he can go, so I expect him to be the same.

wildpatch · 27/09/2007 14:19

but nab, three lots of tears is not a problem at all. its perfectly normal

goingfor3 · 27/09/2007 14:20

DD1 cried once after about 4 weeks, she really had to force the tears out - I could see her straining -It was purely to get the attention the other cryinh child was getting! DD1 loves school and did from the first day.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 27/09/2007 14:21

i also think that school has been a main point of stability in their lives, as i made sure that dd1 went in regardless of what was happening with peter health wise. so it gave them something 'normal' each weekday.

goingfor3 · 27/09/2007 14:22

We have always been really positive about school and the children who were tearful were the ones who had tearful parents.

ChasingSquirrels · 27/09/2007 14:22

Mine did (so far! crosses fingers, touches wood), my mum took him the first day, said he was a bit nervous before he went in but then was totally fine as soon as he got in the classroom.
I took him the 2nd day and he was off into the classroom before I was half way across the yard.
he doesn't want to go, but that is because he doesn't want to stop doing whatever he is doing at home, rather than not wanting to be at school - he never wants to go anywhere, then enjoys it when he gets there.

As to why - in this particular case I think it is partly his personality, and alot due to the 5 x 1 hour visits last term plus the fact that of the 21 kids in the class 15 were at pre-school together, plue he was used to the school itself from drop-off/pick-up once a week with the cm, plus other familar faces from the cm's house and kids in the next class that he was really good friends with at pre-school but they went to school a year earlier than him (he is a Sep birthday). So it wasn't that big a change - new enviroment but already familiar.

NAB3 · 27/09/2007 14:23

wildpatch Yes, I am happy it has only been 3 times. My point was that my son cried twice in thw whole of the Reception year but DD has had 3 lots already in 3 weeks.

ejt1764 · 27/09/2007 14:24

DS started this term in reception, was full-time from day 1, and has been absolutely fine ... no tears, no decline in behaviour ...

As for why, well ...

As far as he is concerned, he started school last year: the nursery unit is just another classroom in the school and the children wear the same uniform.
Their transition arrangements were also superb: for the final half term, when the reception class went out to play, ds's class (the nursery class) went and had their milk and snack in there. DS already knew his teacher, as he spent some time in the reception class last half-term.

He was very excited about several things about being in reception ...

being able to play in the big yard (they have an adventure type play area in there
being able to eat his lunch at school

It also helps that he has got to know a lot of the children in higher year groups, through the childminder he goes to ... they all walk to school together, so he feels like one of the big boys now.

And, one really big factor: he'll be 5 next week, so is the second eldest in the class!

Fennel · 27/09/2007 14:24

Mine were fine, as far as I can tell. They'd both been to pre-school on the same site (which they'd also been fine about starting). All 3 of mine aren't very hard to settle into different institutions/childcare/schools. I think it's partly luck, they're all fairly sociable and easygoing in group situations. And partly because they've all been "institutionalised" in nurseries etc from quite young.

MaryBleedinPoppins · 27/09/2007 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

princessmel · 27/09/2007 14:26

Ds has been crying A LOT

He's usually very happy and confident.

Its definatly not me 'putting my issues' onto him.

And we also have always talked about school postivly and I've not told him I'll miss him etc.

Its just too long for him. That is what he's saying. He went to the nursery there and knows loads of children there. He just wants me.

He's getting better though. Is now happy in class/lesson time and is just crying at lunchtime in the playground. I've got a meeting with the head at 3 actually.

Twiglett · 27/09/2007 14:26

yes ds was totally fine ... he had been to the pre-school attached to the school for the previous year and a half .. he was fine starting there too

DD is different starting pre-school and we've had a lot of tears but I have to say that leave her and she'll be fine approach works with 99.9% of children so there is no reason at all not to 'buy into it'

mykidsmum · 27/09/2007 14:27

At our school we 'settle' the children in each morning. My ds has been fine, but others haven't. I just thing it depends on the child, but what i will say is that staying each morning and reading for 15 minutes IMO makes clingy children worse. Over the years it has caused myself and other parents numerous problems. Particularly unhelpful if you have other children in the school (can't be in several places at once), if you work or if you have toddlers.

NAB3 · 27/09/2007 14:27

My DD has come hom e a cheeky little madame!

princessmel · 27/09/2007 14:29

And I collect children from that school too, so he's been going to the classroom seeing his now actual teacher for pick ups for ages.

mykidsmum · 27/09/2007 14:31

princessmel hope your meeting goes okay. My ds is still going half days, which is just aswell as he is sleeping now and has done most days.

mankyscotslass · 27/09/2007 14:31

DS was totally ok last year when starting, straight in, no worries and big smiles. He had been attending the nursery attached to school before though, and there was a good bit on integration with reception children in the lest term of nursery. Hoping DD will be the same next year.

cat64 · 27/09/2007 14:31

This reply has been deleted

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throckenholt · 27/09/2007 14:31

my twins did this year. They are just doing mornings and are tired - but they are really enjoying it. They had seen their brother go every day for 2 years, and had themselves done about 10 afternoon sessions.

My DS1 on the other hand was a nightmare to leave - tears etc - but he was genuinely fine in a couple of minutes - I watched through the windows a few times ! It took maybe 6 weeks for him to totally settle to going in.

funnypeculiar · 27/09/2007 14:32

Do you mean fine ito not being upset to go? Or fine ito not being a complete PITA outside school?
I vividly remember starting school & looking at other children crying in complete disbelief - the school playground was at the end of my garden, & I'd been wtaching the kids play for years. In fact, I cried bitterly on the last day of term, & had to be prised off the head's lap as I didn't want to go home

Ds has just started nursery (at the local school) only tears were when I didn't have chocolate buttons at the end of the first session (his best mate's mum is much nicer than me)

Now, if you're asking about our behaviour OUT of school - that may be a different matter

I suspect the difference is due to:

levels of child confidence away from parents (personality of child & mother + child's previous experiences of being 'left')
extent to which school feels like welcoming , safe, enjoyable environement (signals given by parents, teachers, peers, school environment etc) Vague enough for you?

cat64 · 27/09/2007 14:32

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