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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Coming home with sweets

25 replies

cardy · 04/09/2007 16:47

It's only the first day back and dd came out of her class with a packet of love hearts and a fudge. Last term she seemed to come out with sweets or chocolate almost everyday - either because it was somebody's birthday or someone was leaving etc..

Now I don't mind her having the odd treat (we try to keep them to weekends) but everyday after school seems a bit much. It's also difficult to say she can't have it when it's usually unwrapped and almost in her mouth by the time I see her.

Is the normal? do your dds/dds get so many sweets at schhol.

BTW - the school does not allow sweets at playtime/lunchtime so I don't suppose there is much they can do.

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portonovo · 04/09/2007 16:53

Is it really every day? That seems unlikely.

At our school children often come home with sweets on someone's birthday, or when someone leaves the school or similar. Let's face it, my children are in classes of approx 25 children, so that's a maximum of 25 birthdays per school years. Some children don't bother, I personally send in home-made cakes (would that be bad too?). Children leaving - happens once or twice a year maximum. The teachers sometimes give sweets for Christmas and/or end of summer term.

So maximum of say 30 times a year, not even once a week, and in my experience it's much less than that. Like I say, not everyone bothers.

Not a problem at all. My only rule is that my children don't eat the sweets without asking me. That way, I can either give them the OK to have that as their after-school snack, or ask them to save it for later/the weekend or whatever. Never been an issue for us. And in actual fact, it's usually tiny sweets - we're talking mini bars or bags (fun size or whatever). Hardly the end of the world.

Original poster

cardy · 04/09/2007 17:07

It has been a couple of times a week (certainly in the last summer term). She does seem to get them from children in other clsses too. To be honest it's the sweets that bother me, haribo that sort of thing - I'd be happy with home-made cakes or even a simple chocolate bar.

I guess it's just the amount of sweets/cakes etc that she is given i.e. loads in party bags (nearly every weekend), birthday cakes as well as what she gets at school. it defeats the purpose of 'treats' if it is so often, IMO.

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Smithagain · 04/09/2007 22:25

DD1 has never been given sweets in school. One or two children have given them out in the playground after school, on their birthdays, but it is definitely not the norm here.

Mind you the reception teacher is hot about healthy eating and she is a formidable lady, so I suspect most of the parents wouldn't dare LOL!

gladbag · 05/09/2007 11:45

Cardy, lots of schools have a general ban on sweets being given out for birthdays, after holidays or as rewards, usually as part of their 'healthy schools' initiative. If it was me, I'd be unhappy at the situation, and would probably talk to the Head to see if anything can be done.

hana · 05/09/2007 11:54

I'd be unhappy about this as well

Budababe · 05/09/2007 11:56

At our school we just do a cake usually. Some home-made, some bought. I would say DS has come home with sweets about 10 times in 3 years. And he doesn't like Haribo so they get binned!

ruddynorah · 05/09/2007 12:02

is this the mums of the birthday shildren sending in sweets to give out?

i was shocked at dd's nursery the kids mums were sending in party bags for each child in the room full of sweets and cake and chocolates. this was in a 0-12 months room. i was very pleased we were on holiday when it was dd's birthday, so i didn't have to send in any tat. since when do 10 month olds eat drumsticks or refresher bars please? i was thinking blardy nursery staff..but it was the mums.

Original poster

cardy · 05/09/2007 12:09

It is the mums sending in sweets and it does quite surprise me. Maybe there something of peer pressure going on and they all feel they have to do it. The school does not allow sweets at playtime or lunchtime.

My dd's birthday is in August so I have never felt the need for her to take anything in. Surely cake at a birthday party for her friends is enough?

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SixKindsofCrisis · 05/09/2007 12:13

Yes, this happens at our school too mums bring in stuff when it is their kids b'day, and teachers give out sweets at christmas and end-of-term. I hate it because it is unhealthy and because it is yet one more newly-minted commercialised ritual that puts everyone under an obligation to imitate it or appear mean.

Debbiethemum · 05/09/2007 12:24

In DS's class we have to give out haribo's, if we give anything, as one boy is allergic and that is the only type of sweets that are safe for him to eat.
Luckily DS has his birthday during half-term so I can forget quite easily

peanutbear · 05/09/2007 12:28

it happens a lot in our school the teachers also hand them out to children for being good or having done good work

haychee · 05/09/2007 12:33

Yes we have it too, for birthdays and is provided by birthday boy or girls mum. I dont really mind - it tends to be a very small pack. But i do feel like i now have to do it when its my dcs birthdays. Dc love to give them out at the door and to recieve them.

Can we perhaps think of something inexpensive and more parent friendly? Maybe we can start a new trend?

Niecie · 05/09/2007 12:34

DS has never had this - sweets are banned at school except at Christmas when the teachers might give them a mini bar of something. They shouldn't be taking the choice out of your hands really - I am not anti-sweet but I want to know what and how much my children are having.

binkleandflip · 05/09/2007 12:38

I think its nice when children at school are included in birthday celebrations which they may not have been able to actually attend for whatever reason (if no party or whatever).

Think its nice sentiment. Sweets shouldnt be demonised to the extent that they sometimes are - there are lots more dangers to health (in the home for example) than a couple of sweet things here or there.

Original poster

cardy · 05/09/2007 13:59

Niecie, you're right, it's having the choice taken out of your hands. I don't hate sweets (in fact personally I love the odd haribo!), it's others giving dd sweets and at/after school. My dd is also really hungry after school and could do with something more substatial than choc bar/sweets, however eating that on the way home means that she won't eat a sandwich when she gets in.

Any ideas for alternatives?

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contentiouscat · 05/09/2007 14:09

The playgroup my son goes to stopped the children taking in sweets on their birthday due to the complaints from parents if there are only 20 children that is 20 days out of the whole year when this happens - sorry I just dont understand the problem.

The rationale was "it spoils their lunch and also makes it difficult if they have a brother or sister" Im the parent so if he comes out with a pack of sweets he has them after lunch or when I decide is appropriate - his brother has to learn that sometimes he goes without. Sure sometimes we get a tantrum but so what.

The children were quite disappointed that they couldnt supply their friends with a small treat on their birthdays fgs how much harm will a small pack of haribos do on 20 days of the year.

Im not saying that its a bad thing to encourage children to eat healthily, my children are very aware of what it good and bad for them but I do think that by banning these things you will ultimately just make them more attractive to them.

As I pointed out on an earlier thread we were never allowed Jaffa Cakes when I was younger, as soon as I got my first job I would buy & eat a whole pack on my way home.

Original poster

cardy · 05/09/2007 14:26

My dds do have sweets and other treats (but when I say so) and I certainly don't demonize them. However it is far more than 20 days per year for my dd and more than a small packet of sweets.

You may also find that as they get older it is more difficult to make them wait (i.e. they are almost in their mouth as they leave the classroom).

My nephew has diabeties - he get's left out everytime choc/sweets are given out. I think parents need to be mindful of such things.

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portonovo · 05/09/2007 16:06

At our school one of the children couldn't have any chocolate, so the teacher kept a tin in his cupboard with suitable treats in for that boy.

I really don't see the problem. And I speak as someone whose children vary rarely have sweets and eat incredibly healthily. I really don't see the peer pressure thing either, you decide your stance on it and stick to it. Hence I wouldn't send sweets, but do send home-made cakes. And many parents opt to do neither, that's fine too.

Controlling what your child eats - that's exactly why I insist they wait and ask me first, and sometimes yes they would have to save it for later. It never became more difficult as the children got older either, they knew/know the rules. If you know your child needs a sandwich or similar, she has that and saves the sweets for a more appropriate time. Simple. Or we have always found it so.

Peachy · 05/09/2007 16:13

Haribo are often given in preference as home made cakes and choccy bars exclude kids who have food allergies, which (from my perspectivre as the mother of one) is a bit unfair at this sort of age and really upsets ds1.

Hopme amde cakes are banned at our school, LEA policy on health and safety or something

It doesn't worry me, can control my kids diets enough that sweets 30 times a year dont amtter a jot

Original poster

cardy · 05/09/2007 16:24

The peer pressure thing doesn't bother me as my dd has an August birthday so doesn't take anything in......mean old mummy However I think that is why so many take quite large quanties of sweets/chocs - don't want to be seen as being mean.

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niceglasses · 05/09/2007 16:29

My eldest occassionally comes home with something, but I'd say it was more like oooh 2-3 times a term rather than everyday - thats seems v excessive, as other posters have said.

Doesn't bother me really. Usually just a lolly or a very small pckt Haribo (yum)

newgirl · 05/09/2007 19:46

it doesnt bother me really - kids usually have such good appetites that as long as they then have a good tea at home i think there is no harm in it

slondonmum · 09/09/2007 19:47

what about their teeth though?

scattyspice · 09/09/2007 20:13

Ds started school this week and came out with sweets twice. I wondered why.

I can't see the harm.

pigsinmud · 11/09/2007 14:45

Banned at ds1's school - "doesn't sit well with the healthy food policy". What a laugh! Ds2 (at a different school to ds1) comes home occasionally with a few sweets when there's a birthday in the class. Can't see the harm. Only buy my children a packet of sweets about once a month, so I don't have any worries about their teeth.

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