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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Reception DD saying she has nobody to play with

12 replies

TrustyPatches · 03/12/2019 09:29

I'm sure they all say it but my daughter is coming home some days saying children in her class are saying she can't play and she has nobody to play with. She's a very sociable, confident and well liked child outside of school. We recently had parents evening to which they said no concerns but I can't get rid of the image of her wandering around the playground by herself. She clams up when I try and get more information about it, is it something to speak with the teacher about or do I just need to learn not to get so involved?

OP posts:

MiniEggAddiction · 03/12/2019 09:56

I know how awful that is to hear as a parent but unless you have larger concerns about her socially (and it sounds like you don't) it's probably a passing thing. Perhaps you could help her plan what to do when one group isn't letting her play.

RedskyToNight · 03/12/2019 10:29

By all means speak to the teacher but you'll probably find that the "no one will play with me" lasted for all of about 2 minutes and she was happily playing with others all the rest of the time!

wingingitalltheway · 03/12/2019 10:35

If you are concerned, speak to her teacher. I’m a primary school teacher and would rather parents come to speak to me about things so I can put their mind at rest.
The teacher will probably say everything is fine but if not you can bring her attention to it and she can keep an eye on things.

Simkin · 03/12/2019 10:38

Yes, speak to the teacher. They will sort her out (or watch and realise it's for 10 seconds when everyone else is still eating lunch).

Goodnightjude1 · 03/12/2019 10:46

I found that my DC would often come home and say they had “nobody to play with” and I felt that awful feeling that you do...the thought of them sitting alone on a bench for the whole playtime...
In reality, when I spoke to the teachers it was always the same. “DC is always playing happily” “DC has plenty of friends” it would seem that sometimes that 30 seconds when they’re looking for a friend to play with, can seem like forever in their minds! I think a quick word with the teacher to put your mind at ease and if there is an issue they can keep an eye out and perhaps help her get more involved.

ApacheTomcat · 03/12/2019 10:47

I would speak to the teacher so that they can keep an eye on things.

If children are telling her that she can't play, the staff will be able to intervene. If she's playing happily, the teacher will be able to reassure you.

XelaM · 03/12/2019 14:38

Invite some girls from the school for play dates. Works miracles to get them bonding

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 03/12/2019 14:49

Definitely speak to the teacher - they'll almost certainly put your mind at rest. However, it is sometimes the case that children need to learn how to play cooperatively. Sometimes 'Nobody wanted to play with me' can mean that nobody wanted to be told what they had to play and the isolated child wasn't prepared to join in with a different game.

boymum9 · 03/12/2019 15:11

@TrustyPatches I'll echo others and say speak to the teacher, my reception age son was saying the same earlier in the school year and then it turned into him telling me he would hide in the toilets all lunch time because he didn't have anyone to play with and because he was also scared and not used to the amount of children running around and the noise, the teacher was great and helped him so much and he's not had any issues since. Hope she's ok, I know it's heartbreaking

Mothersruin123 · 03/12/2019 15:18

My 5 year old would sometimes say this when I asked her who she played with that day. When I questioned her gently it transpired that they didn't want to play the game that she wanted to play, and she didn't want to play the alternative. She seemed relatively happy to play her game by herself though and it wasn't a regular occurrence as other days she'd give me names and they were often the same girls.

bushtailadventures · 03/12/2019 15:25

Please speak to her teacher, either they will ease your mind by telling you that she plays with everyone, or they can suggest ways to help her. I'm a lunchtime supervisor at a primary school and have had teachers ask us to keep an eye on a child before, we try and help them join in. I can't bear the idea of children being lonely so will always help if I can.

Original poster

TrustyPatches · 05/12/2019 09:41

Thank you for all the advice. I've spoken to her teacher and she said she will keep an eye. DD has given me two names but they are children in the other class, these seem to be the children who are telling her she can't play. I've told her the same as I've always said, to find others to play with if some of the children don't let you join in. It's so frustrating as I know she doesn't need to have any contact with these two and I know she's the one going up to them! All a learning curve I suppose.

OP posts:

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