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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Mortified - have missed parents night

16 replies

Itsrebekahvardysaccount · 16/10/2019 18:04

So embarrassed about this but have missed parents night.

They make us book it online and I’ve really struggled with the booking system in the past and only collect my children two days a week from school and they do activities every night so kept putting off having to sit and sort it out.

Then realised one day at collection that lots of parents were heading into the school and it was obviously parents night.

How bad will the teacher be judging me and what should I do?

OP posts:

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Bokky · 16/10/2019 18:07

I'm a teacher and we get parents that don't come for whatever reason. I welcome any parent who wants to make an appt outside of the 'official' time. Just phone the teacher and ask to see them separately.

EvilEdna1 · 16/10/2019 18:15

At the school I work at, if a parent does not make an appointment online we call them to make an appointment - there are quite a few we always have to call and some just forget sometimes. I know not all schools do that but they won't think badly of you if you contact them now to meet another time.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/10/2019 18:20

I couldn't make it to parents evening last week, so teacher saw me after school this week. A couple of years ago my DD1s teacher saw me during her PPA time (which I really appreciate) as that coincided with DDs preschool hours after they experienced DD2s presence during a meeting. If you talk to the teacher they will try to sort something out.

Original poster

Itsrebekahvardysaccount · 16/10/2019 19:11

Phew!! Had visions of being discussed in the staff room and calls to SS being made.

When the kids go back I’ll send an apologetic message and ask for a quick meeting after school one day. The one I missed (one teacher was off so hers hasn’t been arranged yet) the child is a total swot so I’m not concerned about anything but still keen to meet the teacher properly!

Thanks all.

OP posts:

FiddleOnTheRoof · 17/10/2019 08:22

Not being funny, but am I the only one that thinks a parents evening this early in the year is a bit of a waste of time??? Do take this the right way, but ... very little will have been done in school. The appointments are normally 5 minute slots and you are moved along like a carousel whether you have finished asking/received or fully discussed your child.

I missed my DC parent’s evening a couple weeks back as it would have taken too much to reschedule to be there. Haven’t blinked an eye over it as I fully expect, if there were an issue with learning that i’d be contacted and that the teacher wouldn’t wait for this arbitrary appointment to give needed progress (or lack thereof) if it were truly important.

Parents evening after the first term however I always try to make as the teach now has a body of work from the pupil to be able to properly make value judgment comments....

Anyone else think the same?

timeisnotaline · 17/10/2019 08:29

Are you a stay at home parent? I only ask because we share responsibility for these things which makes it less likely we miss them in busy lives. I made this very clear to dh when I was away for work for the first one at nursery so I did exactly what he wpuld expect to do- ignored it. He did nothing and we got a follow up email. I explained to him very clearly that it was not an option that I carry all the responsibility for these things while we both work, if he didn’t want to parent he shouldn’t be here.

TigerDragonMonkey · 17/10/2019 08:35

I’ve done this! It was ok, I just apologised to the teacher and confessed I’d been an idiot and forgotten. We arranged another appointment - I doubt it was the scandal of the school year ;).

LetItGoToRuin · 17/10/2019 10:19

Fiddle, I think it’s useful to have an appointment just a few weeks into the year. It’s a chance for parents and teacher to comment on how well the child has settled into the year, air any friendship/logistical/behavioural concerns, and receive the teacher’s snapshot of what level the child is on at the start of the year, how they’re approaching the new challenges for that year and what their end of term / end of year targets are.

BlueChampagne · 17/10/2019 13:34

Agree that it's useful to have an early parents evening to raise any teething problems. Teachers will have assessed and started to get to know all pupils by Autumn half term. At the end of this term you're already a third of the way through the academic year!

I'm sure you can contact the teacher, either at the door or by email via the school office and arrange a short meeting.

Unluckyinlove2019 · 17/10/2019 13:38

I've done this, was mortified and felt like a shit mother.

Apologised profusely to the teacher who was lovely about it and I arranged a slot with her at a later date to catch up on DDs development.

Just to make you feel a bit better... I sent DD into school last week in her uniform when it was in fact non-uniform day!

In my defence, the email about it came out the day before, but my inbox was full so I never received it. Thankfully she wasn't the only one but lesson learnt I really need to swat up on my admin skills

EmilyStar · 17/10/2019 16:27

Depends on the child Fiddle.

One of my DC has some SEN, so I was glad for an early parents evening. It gave me an opportunity to check that his teacher was aware of relevant information about his SEN, and a chance to ask about areas I know he struggles with.

It was admittedly less useful for my other, NT DC, but it was still good to get confirmation that everything was going ok.

Windydaysuponus · 17/10/2019 16:29

We had to miss year 7 meeting for ds moving up!!
It was a dc's birthday and had family celebrations going in!!
The world won't collapse....

EffYouSeeKaye · 17/10/2019 20:01

I don’t know about that, Fiddle. We’ve had ours already and mine have almost filled an entire maths book already! Couldn’t believe it. They have done so much work. I also agree with pp that an early one is a useful time to meet with teachers and find out if they are off to a good start or not.

DramaAlpaca · 17/10/2019 20:06

I missed a secondary school one for DS2 once, I got the day wrong. I was mortified, and DS was upset with me, too. I rang the school next day to apologise.

CallmeAngelina · 17/10/2019 21:45

All those people who just expect that the teacher will see them on another random day - this is a complete and utter pain in the arse, I'm afraid, and only to be used in extreme circumstances.

BlueChampagne · 18/10/2019 13:18

Point taken, CallmeAngelina, should have put 'request a meeting', not assuming the request will be granted. But at least asking should make OP feel better, and if there are any glaring issues, they could be addressed one way or another.

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