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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Starting school swimming lessons help!

24 replies

Mummymode · 21/08/2018 23:59

Hi all. My DS will be going into year 3 in Sept 2018. He has just turned 7 a week ago. He still get T-shirt’s on the wrong way 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️. He is also starting a new school so I know he will be abit shy too. Just wondering for any useful tips to help him when he has to get undressed, dressed, undressed, dried and dressed again 😩😩😩, to help alleviate any anxiety he may have. I’m still drying him after bath times, helping him get dressed etc. he has also undergone a pretty big op so his confidence is low atm. He’s always been the kind of kid just not interested in getting himself sorted. X

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BackforGood · 22/08/2018 00:10

I suspect you know the answer to this already - stop drying him at home!
You need to make him do more for himself, to help him become more independent.
School swimming lessons are notorious for there being very little time to dry and dress for those more typical children who have been dressing themselves since Nursery.

PerspicaciaTick · 22/08/2018 00:22

He won't be the only one. He and his classmates will cheerfully trot out of school, oblivious to the inside out, back to front and other people's clothes they are wearing.
Hand on heart, the main purpose of school swimming lessons seems to be teaching them how to change to a "good enough" standard in a short timescale. Swimming skills are a bonus.

redcaryellowcar · 22/08/2018 00:28

Feed him a decent protein breakfast, eggs on toast/ dippy egg/ etc? It's tiring swimming and doing school. I would also se d him in his trunks, saves some time getting ready. Pop his pants in his swim bag and maybe a spare pair in case he drop ms a pair on the floor, I send spare socks too after ds coming home with soggy feet a couple of times.
Please don't worry too much though, they all have a hilarious time unintentionally putting swim suits on back to front etc.
I'd be tempted to take him swimming a couple of times between now and starting swimming at school and leave him to his own devices as much as possible? Best of luck!

Original poster

Mummymode · 22/08/2018 07:10

Thankyou!!
Great tips! He’s on a swimming course all of next week, so I shall just let him get on with it....... xx

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Happygolucky009 · 22/08/2018 07:25

My son has done school swimming lesson for the last 2 years, however if we go swimming he stands in a towel looking utterly hopeless and sad waiting for me to dry him !

each time I remind him that he is very capable and if he hurries we well go for pizza / ice cream. It normally works 😄

NonaGrey · 22/08/2018 07:29

The only way for him to get better is yo practice I’m afraid.

You need to step back at home and let him dress himself, at first with verbal support from you and then alone.

grasspigeons · 22/08/2018 07:31

He presumably can get dressed for PE? so its only the drying that's different.

I think a lot of kids don't do a great job of drying themselves to be honest.

5000KallaxHoles · 22/08/2018 07:39

Put a dot or a blob of nail varnish or a tiny X sewn in at the back of his t-shirts (depending on what colour it is) and train him to look for it and have it at the back - I have to do this with ALL DD2's clothing (I got name tapes done that say "back" because she doesn't have any awareness or feeling that her clothes feel uncomfortable or look funny - she's dyspraxic though).

Arrows in shoes pointing toward each other if needed to get them on the right foot -->

5000KallaxHoles · 22/08/2018 07:40

And none of them dry themselves particularly well anyway - it's more wave a towel vaguely at yourself and expect the water to jump off onto it, then flick it at yer mates territory.

Original poster

Mummymode · 22/08/2018 07:49

Thanks everyone!! All that makes me feel better. It’s probably me worrying more than him. It doesn’t help that the kid doesn’t stop talking so everything takes a lot longer! My 4 yr old DS on the hand is usually undressed and dressed again, toothbrush, shoes on by the time his big brother gets a sock on 🤔🤔🤔 xx

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user789653241 · 22/08/2018 08:20

I was worried about my ds getting changed for swimming too, he has huge op scar and very self conscious.
Turned out it was fine.

Hiddeninplainsight · 22/08/2018 17:52

My Dd9 puts her clothes on inside out and/or back to front. She is a very bright girl, she just doesn’t pay attention to that sort of thing (or what foot her shoes are on). I really wouldn’t worry none of it is a major disaster and the school won’t mind. Same with the drying.

Your DS just sounds like he is too busy thinking and chatting. He’ll get there (so I tell myself every time I tell my DD to put things round the right way/the right side out/on the right foot).

maskingtape · 22/08/2018 19:10

My goodness. It's no wonder my class take so long getting changed after swimming. He's more than old enough to do this himself.

Grasslands · 23/08/2018 00:05

besides practice, make sure clothing items including the swim suit are not too tight.

BubblesBuddy · 23/08/2018 10:48

Part of your job as a parent is to ensure you have an independent child. You need to allow him space to learn so stop doing things like dressing him! When you posted I thought he would be 5. Just leave him to do it and reward success. His friends will gee him up in the changing rooms. I pity the school staff who have to deal with this. Hopefully it won’t be the whole class who are not independent dressers!

Original poster

Mummymode · 23/08/2018 11:19

Calm down @bubblesbuddy. Could he be more independent getting himself dressed? Absolutely yes. However part of MY job as a parent is to also raise a kind, compassionate and understanding boy, who doesn’t judge others and is always up for helping out, be it other grown ups or his peers. Shame on you for commenting that a 7 year old getting help when getting dressed sounds more like a 5 year old. I’m pretty sure he won’t be needing me at 18 to get dressed, but am certain he won’t turn into a grown up who thinks comments like that are ok.....

Furthermore...... not that I needed to comment, this boy has also been through hell this year. From his baby brother needing a life changing operation, to his father being in a coma and also going through a major leg operation himself. I don’t think I needed to explain all of that to ADULTS. All children are different, and infact, one of MY jobs is to teach my children that it’s ok not have everything sorted. How you make others feel is actually more important that getting your T-shirt on the right way!
#mummabearishere

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Original poster

Mummymode · 23/08/2018 11:21

Thanks to everyone else for there helpful and supportive tips. We went swimming today and he happily dried himself and got dressed. Can’t help worrying about DC number 1 when everything is a new experience for us all. Xxxx

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Hiddeninplainsight · 23/08/2018 11:37

I am going to just throw in that my 7 year old still asks me to help him get dressed sometimes. He is perfectly capable of doing it himself. He also is rubbish at drying himself (largely because he isn't that bothered about being a bit damp). He is an independent, happy little boy. OP your DS will be fine, and he sounds like a perfectly normal little boy. They are all different. Some like more comfort and parental support than others. Sounds like your DS is perfectly able to do things himself. Whilst I agree it is good to make sure he isn't reliant on your help, if he has the skills to do it himself, don't worry about helping him if he asks. He will stop asking eventually, but at 7 it is fine to help when they want that extra comfort or familiar old routine.

Gazelda · 23/08/2018 11:43

Glad today was successful.
When I'm trying to introduce new things to dd, I often turn it into fun. So in this instance, I'd get her to teach me how to do the 'floss' then we'd do it together and adapt it to all body parts.

viques · 23/08/2018 16:12

One parent I knew made a little bag from a couple of flannels and attached it inside the swimming bag. Taught child to put wet Trunks/ swmming costume inside, so not left kicked under the bench.

ChilliMum · 23/08/2018 16:18

Really don't worry about it. At ds' school the younger years all go swimming in the spring term because they are useless at drying and dressing themselves appropriately afterwards. And the teacher takes a big bag which she uses to collect all the left behind towels, swimwear, t shirts, sweaters and underwear which she then hands out to parents at pick up

Your son will not be any different to all the others

Lollyice · 23/08/2018 16:19

Genius idea thanks viques, will be adding flannels to the shopping list

Original poster

Mummymode · 23/08/2018 18:44

Thanks everyone. Think I’m probably overthinking it. He’s also starting a new school so that has probably is just making me worry alittle more. Today showed me it’s all good, he will be fine xxx

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BubblesBuddy · 23/08/2018 20:49

Well you did need to explain your situation, op, because it wasn’t remotely clear why he didn’t dry himself and get dressed. I don’t know your life and I’m sorry you have had a bad time. I do not, however, get the connection between being kind, compassionate and understanding and dressing yourself! Mine managed all those things. They are not mutually exclusive. However most 7 year olds can do it all - as your DS has now proved to you. So well done you! Life is looking up and I’m pleased.

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