What does this mean in year end report

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My just turned 9yo ( June birthday) got the following comment on her focus for improvement in year end report
Dc should be given opportunities to strengthen own initiative , dc often lacks organisation and confidence when approaching task. Decision making tasks will help focus, encourage dc to take control of situations and learn strategies to rely on self more.

Anyone translate that into actual tasks/ situations as examples
I don't think I helicopter dc - I think I encourage independence eg ordering from menu- go into corner shop for milk while I sit outside, choose clothes
What else should I do? Is there real life skills I haven't thought of?

In another part of report said dc has improved concentration, but sometimes struggles with multi step instructions

I'm a bit lost and deflated - is there something I am missing here??
Would you be concerned??? I sure am!

Dc should be given opportunities to strengthen own initiative she's letting others make the decisions for her and they assume this stems from home

dc often lacks organisation and confidence when approaching task she goes in a bit haphazardly then panics

Decision making tasks will help focus, encourage dc to take control of situations and learn strategies to rely on self more you need to stop doing it ask for her.

That's what I'd think they're saying, not saying it's true.

It sounds like she's gait to let others make the decisions and panics a bit written she's expected to.

What are you plans for summer? Could you give her a couple of dais where she can luck what you do, what you do foot food etc? Don't take over ascend correct errors but reassure her ascend help her written her way through them?

Re clothes doors she pick from select outfits or get free range in her wardrobe?

View is she at home if she makes a decision then soming goes wrong?

Tbh I don't think there's that much decision making she can do at that age but I guess maybe build her resilience up if she makes bad decisions so she's more willing to take a risk?

She's a follower... not an Apprentice contestant basically. I've got a lot of time in life for life's followers since otherwise you get shit shows like week 1 of the Apprentice where they're all trying to be the boss and it just goes to chaos!

Multi step instructions is probably more important to me (DD2 struggles with them). I've found she's helped greatly by if I give her a multi step instruction I then tell her "go have a wee and get your shoes... that's two things to do"

I agree, she is a follower. Is your dd afraid of making mistakes?

Is it possible she is asking for too much help in class which is irritating them or something, so they are incorrectly assuming you do everything for her and she therefore has no confidence to do anything herself? I'd speak to the teacher about what the issue is and tell them what she does herself at home already.

I think I encourage independence eg ordering from menu- go into corner shop for milk while I sit outside, choose clothes

But aren't those the sort of independence a 6 year old might have, so if they are the sort of choices that she has, then maybe more home freedom is needed.

That said, I don't see why people are assuming this is about home at all, the school report just listed what should happen, it doesn't say that the context is home life, being given those opportunities in a school context is likely the relevant thing.

Yes, those freedoms strike me as those of a slightly younger child.

But you're the best judge. Do you notice anything amiss? How do you think she compares to other kids her age?

I wondered if she helped around the house at all, cos chores are mainly 'multi step tasks' - laying the table, putting clothes away, making a v simple meal. Does she do any of that? If not, that might be a good way to help her strengthen those skills.

Tbh I don't think going into the shop to buy milk while you wait outside is encouraging independence! I think you need to be looking at ways to help her to deal with tasks that require simple steps that need to be followed. For example following a simple recipe to make muffins or fairy cakes, teaching her how to tidy her bedroom step,by step (pick up everything from the floor, put things in their proper place, put dirty washing in the washing basket, strip bed, wipe/dust surfaces, make bed, Hoover.

GIve her small jobs that are her responsibility, feeding pets and washing their dishes, sorting out the recycling,

Ask for her opinion when menu planning, don't accept "I don't mind " , if she says it then give her a choice, "so shall we have spaghetti or meatballs on Thursday?" Get her used to stating an opinion and having it accepted. As she gets eventually more confident about expressing her preferences then you can start to gently challenge them and making her justify them, " I like macaroni cheese too, but we had it last week, do we want it again so soon? "

I hope the school is helping less confident children to take part in class discussions by allocating roles in small discussion groups. I used to hand out laminated cards to members of the group The facilitator had to make sure only one person spoke at a time and that everyone contributed, the scribes had collaborate and write notes , the reporter was the one who fed back the discussion and the groups conclusion to the rest of the class. THey took their roles quite seriously when they got used to the system and it was relatively easy for me to manipulate the group dynamics so It as to get less confident children to speak up and stopping very confident children from dominating the group. They took the roles quite seriously when they got used to the idea and it was easy for me to manipulate situations.

Another recommendation for your daughter would be drama classes with a good drama group which should emphasise turn taking, listening, responding, taking part and speaking in front of others but in a less threatening way than a classroom.

She is about to go into Y5, which is the point at which my DCs school starts really focusing on the skills needed to cope at secondary school, especially around independence and personal responsibility. It sounds like those are the areas your DD will be working on next year.

Hmmm. Sounds a little bit like DS’s reports at that age (organisation and following complex instructions, not so much the independence). Eventually, in year 10, at someone’s suggestion I had him assessed for dyslexia and turns out he has some processing issues. I wished we’d done this earlier as once diagnosed, the issues became more manageable and he understood himself better. Might be worth thinking about.

Is it possible she is asking for too much help in class which is irritating them or something, so they are incorrectly assuming you do everything for her

I had this a little bit with one of the TAs in Reception earlier in the school year - now she realises that when I break instructions DD2's been given down a bit for her it's helping work around her SEN issues but enabling her to do it herself. I realise in the early parts of the term it's easy to fall into the trap of assuming they're just a child whose parents have organised everything for them - but this is near the end of the academic year so I'd be doubting that's still the case.

@TigerDroveAgain she has been diagnosed as dyslexic. The school is fully aware and understand her issues- I have assumed they would have taken that into account when writing her year end report - and these areas are over and above what they would expect of her as a dyslexic learner. Otherwise would just be a generic observation, but it's specific to my DD.

I think you need to "upgrade" your DD's involvement.

For example DD is nearly 11 but since several years she gets pocket money she uses as she wish, so learning to budget and make decision to buy or save.
We expect her to help at home, setting table, clearing up, she puts away her own clothes when I tell her where the pile of freshly washed ones are. She has to put dirty clothes away without prompting.

She checks her school bag (if she needs to take things on a specific day I may double check that it in the bag but normally without her knowing), she hands in letters at school.

In supermarkets I give her part of the list and I expect her to find it or if not ask for help.

Obviously nothing happened immediately but bit by bit over the last 3 years we let her do things on her own, expected her to remember things herself.

She is ADHD borderline so remembering multi-layer instructions are tough on her and she often gets distracted and then forgets what she was supposed to do. But it is a matter of practice.

Drama is good to learn to speak up. We also found that DD made vast improvements since becoming a Scout, they expect a huge amount of independence, even from the younger ones. Is your DD a cub?

You could ask the teacher?

these areas are over and above what they would expect of her as a dyslexic learner

I disagree, tbh. Children can have dyslexia and be confident, independent and decisive. It is true that some children with dyslexia find multi-step instructions more difficult, but that is a reason to practise those skills more, which is what the school are suggesting.

My 9 year old dyslexic dd has really gained confidence by baking every weekend. She makes her snack for school for the week, so if she doesn’t organise this, she doesn’t have anything interesting to take. She chooses her own recipe, checks the cupboards and makes a list of what we haven’t got, and does it all herself. I supervise the oven but the rest is on her own while I get on with other stuff around the house.
There have been the occasional missed ingredients, but mostly she’s really successful. This has really improved her maths, as well as giving her an important context for getting the reading right - she can read well now but skim reads a lot, so following a recipe focuses her on the need for accuracy!

Missed the PP - yes, remembering multi step instructions was an issue for my dd, but following written ones or making herself a list has really helped develop this ability.

How about a weekly whiteboard/chalkboard at home with what she has on that day so that she can take charge of packing it? Eg, on a PE day making sure she has all the components of her kit, or homework etc.

Agree with meantangerine that her dyslexia will mean she needs more opportunities to practise these skills with your guidance than she otherwise might.

In this situation, I would book an appointment with her teacher. You need specific advice on how to help. Does she get any help or support at school for her dyslexia? Perhaps you could see the SENCo as well or instead?

The teacher thinks your dd doesn't get to make her own decisions often enough at home.

Your list of things she is allowed to do are definitely on the young side.

Does she cook? Does she choose her own activities?

DC lacking confidence and organisation in approaching the task does make me wonder if it's a processing issue, and she is a "follower" in group tasks because she is struggling to catch up. I'd want to rule that out, anyway.

I wouldn't assume they would adjust the expected standard because of her dyslexia. It's personalised because it's about her and her skills today. My son (autistic) also struggles with multi-step instructions, and I'd expect that to come up on his report because it's something we need to keep working on.