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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Parents at school assembly

24 replies

RaubahnsLeftArm · 10/05/2018 09:24

Since when was this a thing? I got asked by a TA this morning why I don't go to class assemblies. I had no clue this happened. Do all schools do this?

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RedSkyAtNight · 10/05/2018 09:41

All schools don't do it (my DC's infants school did, but their junior school didn't). But if your school does do it then you should be informed of when the assembly is ... has this not happened?

LetItGoToRuin · 10/05/2018 09:44

No. DD’s school don’t do this, and I’m glad. It just makes working parents feel bad if they can’t go.

I know from friends that several other local schools invite parents to come in when their child is going to receive a special award, but I’ve not heard of parents being invited to ALL assemblies!

halcyondays · 10/05/2018 09:46

We don't have them.

Stripybeachbag · 10/05/2018 09:51

Around us yes, it is a big deal. Chairs at the back for the parents. All parents taking photos and filming. I got asked this morning if I would be going by another mum because her son would be sad if no photos were taken. I have made it once (and had to pretend it was the dentist!).

user789653241 · 10/05/2018 09:53

At our school, unless you keep on track on the school websites or emails, you will miss class assembly. My ds never tells me about. If it's award ceremony assembly, letter will be sent to parents, but other regular ones, it's up to parents to check.

Original poster

RaubahnsLeftArm · 10/05/2018 09:53

Red, it's in their calendars but I assumed that was for staff benefit, as there's other such stuff for staff. Sometimes it's on their white board, but again, they often put up reminders for staff. DS is in reception and hasn't said anything about it. I don't know any other parents so never heard any mention of it until today

TBH I'm highly unlikely to go as I can't cope in crowds, I just feel like a twat for having a blank expression and responding with "what? Why would I??" When asked about it

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CatMuffin · 10/05/2018 10:04

We are invited to class assemblies twice a year and it's in the school newsletter when it is our class's turn. The class do a performance to show their work on a topic they are studying and then we can go up and speak to our kid at the end. Dh or i go. Some people send a grandparent.

user789653241 · 10/05/2018 10:06

Our school doesn't send reminders for class assemblies, maybe trying it to be low key so children who's parents aren't coming don't get upset. But parents are always welcome to class assemblies. And it's on the school calendar so we know if we want to.

lorisparkle · 10/05/2018 10:25

At my ds school the parents are invited back to the classroom after their class assembly to see the children’s work. These assemblies are held twice a year. They are on the weekly newsletter but I can’t remember how we initially knew we were invited! This happened with harvest festival one year when the reception parents were not sure whether they were invited as it was not stated clearly. I sometimes find my ds school presume that the reception parents know things forgetting that they don’t!

Doofenschmirtz · 10/05/2018 10:42

Ours invites parents of individual children if they're going to receive an award but otherwise that's it. Assemblies tend to be for the whole school together, so there wouldn't be enough space for parents as well.

roseblossom75 · 10/05/2018 10:53

I used to go.
There was one time when they were doing one of those blind fold challenges tasting food.
It soon became obvious that it was the ten parents who were there for the assembly who were expected to take part in this.
I know it was "a bit of harmless fun" but I suffer from agoraphobia and for some reason it brought on a panic attack.
The parents were being dragged out to the front one by one while the deputy head made jokes and the whole school laughed.
I could feel the panic building up and all I could think was "I have to get out of here!!".
I got up and headed straight for the exit and out the door while the other mums gave me looks as if to say "Where the heck are you going? We have to do it so why can't you? Don't be a spoil sport. It's only a bit of fun".
I felt terrible for being such a wimp/ spoil sport but I just couldn't do it.

FinnJuhl · 10/05/2018 10:57

Both my kids' schools holds one class assembly per term.

They do little presentations on work they've been doing, usually sing a song they've prepared, then you go back to the classroom for 10 mins to look at their art/topic stuff.

It's not scintillating stuff, but unfortunately the DCs seem to really like it if I'm there, so am happy to oblige. However I work very locally so it's not a big deal to attend. If I had to miss a whole morning, I'm not sure I would go to every assembly, maybe just one per year.

reluctantbrit · 10/05/2018 11:05

In Infant we had them each term, our kids wrote us an invitation for it. It was a big fuss. Most times I was lucky and it was on my days off. In others DH went alone as he works from home so can nip out for 1/2 hour.

In Juniors we may have 1-2 a year depending if the topic is something they can actually show off (incl. dress up most times).

My friends send their DCs to a different school, they do it max 1x a year and often not every year.

Original poster

RaubahnsLeftArm · 10/05/2018 11:21

rose gosh that sounds awful. I suffer social anxiety and agoraphobia too. Always had the social anxiety but the agoraphobia developed when ds was born. Somebody people simply don't understand, if I get put on the spot I completely freeze and it feels like I'm being burried alive, sometimes I cry, occasionally I pass out. Then I spend the next few weeks beating myself up about it

Anyway, thanks all, glad I'm not The only one that doesn't go (even though I only found it out today...)

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wendz86 · 10/05/2018 12:31

We have one a term for each class and you can go to your childs class assembly. I usually try and go as she likes it when i do. They usually put on tea and coffee for the parents after.

RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot · 10/05/2018 14:33

We don't go in - don't even know who's won the weekly awards till the kids tell us at hometime. Even if you're in school volunteering when awards assembly is on you don't go in as a parent.

They do enough other stuff for parents to go to - I'm overjoyed at not having the expectation of sitting through assembly as well.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 10/05/2018 18:07

None at ds’ school

Snowysky20009 · 11/05/2018 10:44

My ds' primary used to have them. I made 1 of my eldest sons and his dad made a few. I made more of the youngest because I had stopped working due to ill health. I felt really guilty all the time for missing my eldest, but when I went to my youngest and seen how few parents actually went it made me feel better.

When you work what can you do?

Besides most kids hate assemblies (I say this as an ex primary teacher), they don't want to be there and are bored rigid. Most children aren't bothered if you are there or not, hence why many 'forget' to tell their parents/carers!

movinonup · 11/05/2018 11:57

My DC's school has assembly every single Friday afternoon to which the parents are encouraged to attend.
I try and go when I can, But in all honesty I'd rather not.

Cliona1972 · 11/05/2018 18:25

None at ours, thanks heavens, talk about making parents who are working outside the home guilty.

whiteroseredrose · 11/05/2018 18:38

Our DC's primary had one assembly per term that parents were invited to. Lots od SAHP in the area, or some just went in late.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 11/05/2018 19:18

The school I work in do it, DD's don't thank goodness, I feel bad enough for missing sports days, harvest festival, carol service etc without adding class assemblies.

Nix32 · 12/05/2018 07:19

It's about valuing your child's achievements. Why wouldn't you want to be involved in that?

Children understand plenty and most are very good at understanding that sometimes parents can't come because they are at work. Much more difficult to explain why a stay at home parent doesn't attend.

megletthesecond · 12/05/2018 07:28

We are welcome to attend every Friday. But in reality only a handful of SAHP's go every week.
However we are told by text on Thursday afernoons if our child is due to receive an award or certificate. That way a lot of the working parents have enough time to arrange to go in 30 mins late after Friday assembly.
We have never had to participate, most of us don't even sing. Parents sit at the back and clap, that's all. and cry when a pupil has done something extra special.
I enjoy It tbh. It's lovely to watch them growing up and seeing all the academic and sporting certificates they achieve.

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