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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

OK!!!WHO'S ON THE PTA???!!!IS IT FUN??IS IT REALLY CLIQUEY????

32 replies

ihaveastupidquestion · 27/04/2007 09:10

come on and dish the dirt. i am imminently joining our PTA and am slightly concerned (ok, I KNOW) that they are a bunch of well-meaning, but unimaginative ladies who like to shop at m&s and don't like anyone to rock the boat/break with tradition.

I'm takin 'em on!!!!

who's with me???!!!

any advice gratefully received cos actually i am scared witless.....

OP posts:

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brimfull · 27/04/2007 09:16

no need to be scared ,they're just a bunch of mums exactly like you.
Good on you for joining,wish more people would,too many people sit back and let the pta do all the work and then have the gall to moan about it.

Original poster

ihaveastupidquestion · 27/04/2007 09:18

thanks ggirl - i really think i could make a difference (in a positive way!) but not sure how i will be received! they are v much of the "if it ain't broke don't fix it" mentality, but playground general opinion (gossip gossip!) is that is IS broke. hence my name really should be bob the builder...can we fix it??? erm...they might not let me try....

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MascaraOHara · 27/04/2007 09:23

I just yesterday enquired about ours as they are desperate for people.

The woman I spoke to seemed very off-ish and now I'm not so sure.. she also seemed a bit put out that I'd asked for a description of the roles so I could get an idea of what was expected snd how much time I would have to commit.

I thought about putting my name forward as a govenor last year but didn't in the end.

Very unsure about the whole thing now.

Original poster

ihaveastupidquestion · 27/04/2007 09:27

oooh do you live near me mascaraohara?!! that sounds like ours tbh! but i thought f**k it, i'll give it a go and if they want to give me the freezies then at least i can have the satisfaction of resigning and telling everyone why i resigned! no, not really

i do actually have one friend on there already, it's her who's "persuaded" me to join as she is also fed up of the "don't rock the boat" mentality.
why don't you drag a friend along?

go on...we could be PTA buddies and swop tips....

OP posts:

amateurmum · 27/04/2007 09:30

I chair school PTA - don't think we are cliquey (but hard to know when you are involved).

We are always DESPERATE for help so if you joined ours would be completely delighted.

It can seem we don't want to rock boat with tradition - personally would be delighted to do so if anyone was offering to organise something new - but I have a tricky job liaising with head who is deeply suspicios of any change to the norm.

Original poster

ihaveastupidquestion · 27/04/2007 09:33

my trump card is that our head is actually really nice and happy to ring the changes - she has only joined the school in the last 3 years and made quite a few immediate (and well-received) changes to the school. it is just gettng beyond the PTA agenda itself really! but my loins are girded and i'm good to go!

btw i'm not judging anyone elses PTA, i'm sure you are all lovely and wonderful and not cliquey and odd in the least! it's just mine

OP posts:

SueW · 27/04/2007 09:34

It's probably a bit much to ask for a description of the role - perhaps you wrong-footed her.

On all the volunteer jobs I've done you make it your own, you do what you're good at and you put in the time you can spare. That way you'll probably do it well and enjoy it.

E.g. I have 'done the catering' for our Michaelmas Market. That involved deciding on what we would sell, working out cost price of everything and staffing and consequently how much we'd need to charge. Printing price lists. Setting out tables and putting cloths on and organising a rota for people to take money. The school's catering staff do the real work!

Mostly in our Parents' Association you just suggest what you'd like to do to help towards organising a particular event and they let you get on with it.

Original poster

ihaveastupidquestion · 27/04/2007 09:38

i am very active as a volunteer already in a completely different field and love it to bits which is why (as well as pressure from my pal!) i wanted (?!) to do this too. am definitely going to speak up and make suggestions

thanks for all the lovely advice, must go now but will bump this later as think there is potentially lots to talk about!!

OP posts:

amateurmum · 27/04/2007 09:43

ihaveastupidquestion, what is the PTA agenda do you think? if they are really difficult, is it worth getting a friend to join with you for moral support? It can be really difficult to speak up at meetings if there is a weight of silent opinion and mutterings about you - my children's last school PTA was a nightmare like this.

You will probably find a lot of playground support if they are perceived as awkward/controlling.

Have to say, though, it is difficult if you are running it, with very little support, and someone arrives who is convinced they know how to do everything better but doesn't actually offer to DO it. (I'm sure you are not like this though!)

SueW · 27/04/2007 09:44

I love doing voluntary work.

At the moment I am not doing paid work because I am finishing my essays for my antenatal training in anticipation of teaching from September but I have the following voluntary roles:

NCT teachers' rep for the branch
scout treasurer
Parents' Assoc at school
just about to start helping out with hospital charity

Hassled · 27/04/2007 09:48

I've been very involved in a PTA and made a lot of good friends through it - but there are always a few controlling types on any committee who have their own agendas (sometimes baffling) and can be quite resistant to change - tend to see mothers who are less involved as somehow less committed to the school, which is nonsense. So you do have to be prepared to fight your corner - but there are many positives to it as well.

colditz · 27/04/2007 09:52

everyone here is on the PTA

And of course it's a Cleek, otherwise, why bother going?

shouldbedoingsomethingelse · 27/04/2007 09:58

I joined a PTA a few ago and when the "very cliquey crowd" moved on the damage was already done. there were 3 of us left. Well I listened, helped where I could and listened to ideas being put down because "oh we've tried that and you wont get the parents interested" but now 4 years later we have a good committee of people and a head who listens and involves us.

For example old chair asked some of us to volunteer to serve drinks to the governors' at a meeting (bloody cheek we thought so chair did it!) anyway we later found out that the request was for some of the PTA to come along and see how the governors work and join them for a drink afterwards )

Things have changed now. Last year some members thought it would be nice to hold a Christmas shopping evening/craft fare type thing and so we gave it a go and admittedly not a whole lot of people came but just enough did and we agreed to try it again this year. One PTA member wanted the school to do something for World Book Day and so the head agreed to let us run with it and we had 2 authors in to spend the day with the kids and they all loved it. No idea is put down and where ever possible we give everything a go!

Anyway what I am trying to say is even though it seems a hard slog, join, stick with it and you can make a difference.

Good Luck

christywhisty · 27/04/2007 10:29

Our PTA were soo cliquey, they even used to go on holiday together. I left after being given jobs like looking after the toilets during the school disco one too many time, then at a school fete I got sarcastic comment when I arrived and then another sarcastic one when I left.There were always bitching about people who couldn't turn up for meetings etc
I don't help out when the PTA is involved anymore, but I have spent hundreds of pounds over the years at events etc, and still give time to the school helping with things like swimming, so I do feel I have done my bit.

I have joined the scout sommittee and it is completely different, no control freaks and actually go thanked for the help, much nicer

MascaraOHara · 27/04/2007 11:08

One of the roles that is vacant is Chair, I thought I might go for that one..

I don't really know that many mums at the scholl I am WOHM so only do one school run a week - I know quite a few to say hello and you know I'm comfrtable with the relationships I have there but at the same time I would like to feel more involved.

I explained why I wanted the info in that I didn't want to volunteer and then not be anle to meet the commitment I have made, I already have a lot on my plate iykwim.. I was met with "we are all busy people you know" I didn't mean to imply that they weren't busy but I guess I could have phrased it better?? I just meant I didn't want to let them down if I did commit - I need to be fairly sure I have the time to do what is required of me

Original poster

ihaveastupidquestion · 27/04/2007 17:06

thanks guys - don't worry, i am not all mouth and no trousers so to speak!!by no means do i plan to come breezing in and take over, but if i have an idea and think it could work, then i'm going to be brave and voice it.
plenty of descriptions here that make me think some of you MUST be familiar with my PTA (awkward/mutterings etc!) but am still resolute - PTA, I'm comin to getcha!

go on MascaraOhara - you know you want to

OP posts:

MrsWho · 27/04/2007 19:32

Ours consists of about 5 people ,all quite nice and am friendly with them , just don't get time to go

slalomsuki · 03/05/2007 12:20

I am involved with ours and yes when I started a year ago it was very cliquey and very closed but a couple of us went along and listened at first and then questioned why they did things the way they did.

Some of the existing committe listened and some flew off the handle at "how dare we question their authority" Anyhow 18 months later it is still like watching paint dry at meetings but we have a PTA which is now triple the size it was previously and the last of the old comitte leaves at the end of this year.

littlemissbossy · 03/05/2007 12:37

I want it on record. I am not and never will be on the PTA. Ours is sooo cliquey and even though they have a new chair"person". LOL they're going on holiday together this year as well ROFL.

RanToTheHills · 08/05/2007 13:21

well, how much free time do you have? ours expects far too much, IMO and this is what puts so many off. Especially if you're working and/or have a pre-schooler, it's not realistic.
They can be cliquey - and odd - I get lots of e-mails from one member who consistently fails to even acknowledge me at the school gates

HuwEdwards · 08/05/2007 13:23

Ours is lovely - absolutely no cliqueness at all, we have a real mix - quite a few dads too. Always go to the pub afterwards, which helps I think

MissRible · 08/05/2007 13:31

DS's school has so many on PTA that they are not accepting any further members unless people step down! Have at least 2 per class (3 in ours). PTA is for social events - any funds raised is an aside -

hayes · 08/05/2007 13:33

I joined my schools PTA to find that they were exactly like you describe, they had their way had done it like that for years and didn't want any new ideas coming in. As long as I was happy to do the donkey work they were happy for me to keep my face shut. It was a horrible bullying atmosphere and to be honest I got out after the first year. I support the school now in other ways. Shame that.

MellowMa · 08/05/2007 13:34

Message withdrawn

MegaLegs · 08/05/2007 13:35

Ours is sooper cliquey and I struggled when I first joined. Now I get to do exciting jobs like guard an already locked door at the school disco (promoted from switching lights off and on last year!!) Whilst ubermums serve popcorn and do the ChaCha slide.

If it's cliquey, rise above it. I've got involved with the school fete commitee this year (if you need bunting I am your woman). There's a lot of one up(wo)manship and Mummy olympics going on but I just let it all wash over me.

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