Private vs state

[Hazza000]

We have just moved to a new area and are looking at nurseries/schools for our girls aged 2 and 5. Personally I prefer the state primary school but DH wants private all the way. He was privately educated but I went to state schools and feel a state education would be better. He feels private would imbibe them with more life skills and confidence. The girls have already made friends with our neighbours' children who go to a local independent school where DH wants them to go. Is this a dilemma anyone else has had?

How have you got to to age 2 and 5 without having resolved this question?

Can you afford independent? Have you actually looked at the schools in the area? Ideology aside, it's important to look at the options that are actually available. There are some great state schools and some crummy independents, so you can't generalise that one or other is always best. How about you decide what criteria are important to you and your children, then see which of your local schools is the best fit for them?

Can you afford 30-40k per annum is one key question.
What are the local schools like
Don't worry about neighbours kids can be friends even if not at same school. My neighbours are at an independent school but even if I went privately I would not pick the same school they have

What is your question?

If it's 'which sector is best?' it's been done to death. After a lengthy bun fight, the conclusion is ALWAYS that it depends on exactly which schools you have available (not the sector) and how each one would suit your actual, individual child.

I would send them to the best school you can reasonably afford (and best doesn't necessarily mean more academically rigorous, but the one that seems the happiest, most nurturing, offers most opportunities, that would be the best fit for their needs, etc.). I was in private school my whole life, from nursery/preschool up through secondary. I do genuinely think it made a world of difference to me and I had opportunities in life I never would have had otherwise, but realistically, the state schools in our area were pretty crap. They were really just not good, and I ultimately had interests in sports and other activities that I couldn't have pursued there. But my family could afford it - albeit it was a struggle (we were not rich! my mum worked 3 jobs at one point just to keep me in school and I am incredibly grateful). My dh went to state up to secondary school and then to private. He really struggled in state school (he's dyslexic and there just wasn't much support back then for children with special needs), but private just about got him through and off to uni. Ours are in state, but it's a lovely little village school and I would say it's on par with anything else around here. It's small and welcoming and everyone is really lovely and it's close to home. I think I would consider private for secondary school if we could afford it, but it's hard to say now. At this age though, as long as state schools near you are good, I don't think there is much difference - other than you're spending a lot more money. I would just go and visit and see how you feel about each, and if money isn't an object, I would just go with your gut feeling.

Take the money out of the decision (assuming you can afford the private option if that is the final decision) and look at the individual schools. Make your choice based on the best fit for each child. At one stage I had three children all in different schools because at each stage their particular school was the best fit available to us for them at the time. I'm now at two schools between the three of them which makes life a little easier! There isn't a correct answer to "which is better private or state" because it all depends on the schools and the child.