Has anyone moved a child back to nursery from p1?!?

[user1122]

Ok so I know this sounds silly, my son started school last Aug and just turned 5 last weekend, he has anxiety and OCD/sensory issues, he is extremely sensitive and hates change! He is really struggling socially at school not with his peers but with his teacher, she is a full on character that is behind the times with kids mental health and doesn't have a good understanding, he cries going to school everyday and begs me not to take him, iv spoke to head teacher today and she said we can try to make things easier but wondered if going back to nursery then re starting school in the summer, should point out I'm in Scotland so not sure if it's diff to England, anyone with experience or advise??? 😢

It is heart breaking when you little one is so stressed about school so you have my sympathy.

My concerns would be, if you moved him back to nursery (providing you got permission to do so) would you not have the same issues again when he moves back up to P1? Would it be the same teacher? Would the loss of his friends be a blow to him? Would it feel like he was in some way being punished by being moved back to nursery especially if he is coping with the work and has friends?

It is not impossible to do a repeat year, a friends DD did it (in Scotland), she repeated P1 due to complicated family circumstances throughout her initial P1. There were never any problems through primary but obviously by high school she was a year more mature but then again, many hold back Jan/Feb born children so not unusual for some age variation in each year.

I think you should try, with the headmistress, to tackle the issue with the teacher first by speaking to the teacher and giving her an opportunity to resolve the issues being encountered before looking to such drastic action as repeating a year. Between you all, have a clear understanding that there must be a timetable to see results and follow-up meetings until your DS is a happier little boy.

I have heard of P1 being repeated although you might get be better to move school. I had friends do similar but they moved location and went to a private nursery/school.

I think you need to speak to the head.

Has your ds got a diagnosis at all? This will go some ways to helping the school realise further support is needed. If not start that ball rolling?

I assume you have a school Senco? Arrange a meeting with them and also, tell them you want to be referred to the school community nurse for further support with dc anxiety.

Talking to the head and teacher may not always be the best way to get support. As you said your ds teacher has her own views on the issues, the Senco however, should gave up to date knowledge/interventions.

My dd's school Senco had no idea about her issues, because the class teacher hadn't mentioned it!! By making the Senco aware your taking the ownership away from your ds's unsupportive teacher.

You said about restarting school. What a cop out from the head! The only problem is the class teacher? Then it's a school issue that will only repeat itself next year!

There are a lot of factors to this, we are moving house in a few weeks and hoped a diff school although the initial change would be hard maybe a new teacher would be better, he has friends at new school too, but they don't have space for him until Aug so their only solution is to taxi him to previous school til aug, which is going to be extremely stressful and upsetting for him so this is a large part of me even considering the move back, he wouldn't see it as punishment as he is so unhappy at school he would rather do anything than go their, please bare in mind he has only just turned 5 a few days ago so he could of /should of been kept back and actually started this year, it's a little more than a disagreement with the teacher when he is so scared of her that she is making his anxiety so bad he makes himself ill and bed wets, I'm meeting the school nurse soon and she sounds very helpful, the same has happened here when I met with his teacher to explain his issues she didn't pass any of it on as she doesn't believe he has anxiety just a quiet child !

Sorry this is happening to your little boy.

Has he got a diagnosis for the teacher to work with?

I would move him back to nursery if i could and use it as time to prepare positively for move to new school / tackle anxiety issues.

Has your son been offered a place in new school from August? Is his place guaranteed?

OP why was he not given the extra year at nursery?

DD2 stayed on at nursery (although she's a November birthday so that brought along its own set of hoops) & it's the best thing I've ever done for her. No one knew she'd effectively been held back a year & now it's just accepted that she's the oldest in her year at school - only issue was when she moved schools & the new HT kept insisting she go into P5 rather than P4 due to her DOB but the education officer sorted that out.

I do think it's a lot easier to repeat a year up here (depending on your LA) than it is down south but it's unlikely that you'll be able to move back down to nursery for the remainder of this year as by the time you had the meetings (all staff involved, HT, EO & child psychologist for DD2 & she wasn't moving back down just staying where she was) & a decision was made on funding we'd already be getting close to the summer holidays.

I think it'll probably work if you move schools and he's still young anyway. I had done most of a year at secondary school in England then moved back to Scotland where they go to secondary school a year later so I went back to primary school! I had the option of being the youngest at secondary but I chose to repeat. It wasn't as bad as you would think because it was a totally different area. I also got on very well academically in the first year because I had done it before. Overall it didn't make a blind bit of difference to me.

I'd move him to the new school nursery. Not convinced either of anxiety so young as a condition rather than a (understandable) response to this horrible teacher

In Scotland if you choose to educate at school), no child is legally required to to be in full time education (p1) until the August start date after their 5th birthday.

You don't need anybody's permission to delay until that time, rather than starting at the more typical 4 years old. However, sometimes councils, schools etc will try to tell you that you do need permission. What they can do tho, is deny you funding for an additional year at nursery (there is no requirement to send your child to nursery).

I have recent experience (October birthday, 6yo DC is currently in p1). I didn't get funding for the extra nursery year and paid for some private provision. DC has some sensory and social issues related to autism and delaying school as long as we has absolutely been the right thing for DC, who has coped amazingly well (still acts amongst the youngest and least mature in the class but he is coping). Last year, p1 would have been a disaster, he was in no way capable of following routine or even making himself understood.

When my older DC were at primary school, I was aware of 2 class mates being held back (one in p 3/4 and one repeated p6), so it's possible to do it later in school too.

In your situation, if you are sure it's in your DC best interests, I'd look at all the legislation and then meet with the school and say you have decided to withdraw him until August 17 as he is not legally required to be in school until then. Maybe the fact he's already in school will throw a spanner in the works and make it more complex but, for the time being, he is not legally required to be in school so I think you should be able to de-register now your DC if they don't agree to letting him repeat p1.

He has struggled with anxiety before he started school so it is a condition that he will prob struggle with his whole life but this one teacher is really causing him distress and it's taken all my strength to get to this point and I finally feel like it's a dead end! He is extremely precious to me and I am failing him right now , he blames me for the the way he feels, he asks why I take him there every day, it's truly heartbreaking watching another person break him down the way she has , someone in her position should be nourishing and caring and kind,she is none of these and I want my son away from that , I'm going to do some research to find out my options but thank u all for your advise 😊

He is in school early as the nursery and health care professionals could see no reason why he wouldn't do well and all felt he was ready, against my deep down feelings I went along with it as they obviously know what they are talking about, I hold my hands up to that , I made the wrong decision

OP apologies my "why wasn't he given the extra year" may have sounded a bit snippy - it really wasn't meant that way

I know there are various reason a child is advised against denied having an extra year. DS is a January birthday & as his nursery didn't have an actual teacher there was no point in him having the extra year as there would be no benefit to it I just wondered if perhaps you had faced a similar issue.

I think your first port of call would be to arrange a meeting with the education officer to discuss both your concerns about the teacher & the options available to you & your son.

Is the new school in the same LA or catchment area?

He isn't in early as the cut off is feb 28th... but it may well too early for him as a January birthday. I am sure that if you call the new school and ask if there is space in their nursery and accept the p1 space there that would be for the best.
If not, then back to his old nursery would be better than this current situation.
And if not then just don't send him to school. He needs you to do what is right for him and you now know this school is not right for him.
Perhaps some educational psychology input would also be of help prior to his new start to help look at his needs and if he requires some additional support. I wasn't doubting he is anxious just suggesting that labelling him as having anxiety (and OCD as I'm almost certain small children do not have that) may not Be helpful for him in the long run. Help see them as feelings like any others that different actions and behaviours and scenarios can help with and lessen/stop.

Yes the new school is in next village about 10mins from where we are now, I'm meeting with the school nurse she has all the notes from the issues we looked at with health visitors so I'm sure she will be able to offer help and advise , the school are looking into ways they can help too so in the meantime I'm going to find out if there are spaces available in new school nursery, then to restart p1 in Aug, as there is such a large intake in the summer there is going to be composite classes anyway so regardless of him being a younger p2 or an older p1 he would be in the same class with the same kids