How much does your Y2 child tell you about school?

[BarefootDancer]

My ds, 6, tells me very little - claims not to remember! Just the odd snippet about playtime or rules, hardly any about lessons. Is this usual? Should I worry that nothing is actually going in? How can I encourage him to tell me more, without pestering him?

I find that I get more from my ds (year 3) when we have to walk to pick up his sister rather than go straight home from school. The longer walk encourages chat and he volunteers stuff then.

When my son was in year1, I used to get things like "Don't know" or "Nothing" from him when asked about school. He is now in tear 2 and seems to be telling me more even if it is to tell me he had a maths test. I think with my son that it is down to his teacher. In year 1, his teacher was OK towards him but towards teaching, I felt was a waste of space. But he seems to be learning more and enjoying school more since going into year2. I know this by the fact he is telling me more about his school day, even telling me before I've even asked him how his day had been.

So how can I encourage him to tell me more?

Ds1 tells me very little unprompted. Asking direct questions seems to help. "What did you do today?" will usually get an answer like "Can't remember" or "Don't know" but if I ask something like "Did you do X/Y/Z today?" I usually get more out of him.

I would agree with CT about not asking directly "what did you do"...leading questions work better for my Ds who is in reception! He is the same "cant remember" or "nothing", but leading questions work....the only thing he will say without prompting is when he has been on the "happy side" or when someone has been naughty enough to go on the "sad side" ...the latter he tells me with some glee (as long as its not him)

DD is in Y1. She doesn't volunteer much if I ask 'how was school today' or 'what did you do today'. I find 'leading' questions about specific classes/activities, children or teachers will get a reasonable and more elaborate response.

What worked well for my 2 was to get them to tell their younger sister (or a toy) all about their day. We couldn't shut them up them....

Yes - i do try leading questions, and they do mean I get a bit more, but not much....
I think he gets on Ok with his teacher and school, but I feel sad that he tells me so little. Maybe he will as he gets older.

I ask about stuff theyhave been doing - rahter than what did you do today? I know they are doing about exploreres so I asked about what explorers they had talked about.

I had to get info from the teacher and other mums as a way in, but it gives them a trigger, is much better than it used to be.

but TBH year2 and sons - you don't get much.

Hi Barefoot, I'm currently working in the school (but not the class) that my dd, now 7, is attending, its a real eye opener!! She, like your ds would never tell me anything until I started working there one day a week. It helps that I'm there to witness things so we talk more about school things, though sometimes she will still answer 'ok' or 'boring' when asked how her day went.

In my mind the reason for this is the school environment is such a fast paced place to be for a young child (or even an adult sometimes!) I genuinely think that most children can't tell you what's happened because they can't remember it all. Also, school is something that they do independantly. They are constantly being encouraged to do everything for themselves, from work sheets to tying their own laces, and negotiating their friendships with children and relationships with teachers, dinnerladies etc. I think that some children, when faced with the thought of home and the comforting arms of mum, dad, or whoever, where they can relax in the sights and smells of familiarity and they actually WANT to forget everything their minds and bodies have been doing for the past 6 hours!! (This isn't meant to be armchair child psychology btw, but it is based on observations.)

I haven't got much in the way of giving hints to help him open up, though I agree with coppertop that asking him direct questions rather than asking him to give an self evaluation of his busy day is a great idea...

I play 'my turn - your turn' with my lot. i tell them 1 thing i did today and then they tell me 1 thing they did today. I don't think its unusual, my dd is 11 and usually remembers what she needs for school when we get to the gate!!

Thank you for all your useful suggestions. I will try some of these and see if that helps.
Thinking about it he also sometimes makes up stuff that is kind of wishful thinking about what he might like to have happened so we start having a conversation about complete rubbish he hasn't actually done.
Also, he is generally not that good at relating stuff about what he has done, when playing at friends or when he's been elsewhere.
maybe there is some way I can help him become better at this. Or maybe he will grow into it.

does your teacher give you any info of projects or topics they are covering in class?

That is usually the easiest way in.

TBH i think there are just some kids who are like this...my mil said DH was like this the whole way through school, in her words "it was like pulling teeth" so i think my DS is a chip off the old block! DD will be different i think, she is full of news from preschool, and i will have to wait and see what the baby is like!
I think half the time it's because i am more excited about him being at school than he is...for him although he enjoys it, he dosnet see it as exciting as playing in the garden!

I get every detail from dd1 , what teacher said to who and what they said back including conversations over heard!
ALl in the 5 min walk home from school!

neither of mine tell me anything (dd in yr2, ds in reception) until they cover a topic that they find interesting then, suddenly, I hear loads.

So I've heard absolutely nothing about year 2 AT ALL (in fact, virtually nothing throughout reception and yr1) until the last few weeks before half term where they did the Great Fire of London and Samuel Pepys and then I got chapter and verse about it all (largely because dd was fascinated with the thought of London burning down)!

I don't think he's unusual at all - he probably sees school as school and home as home!

My DS never tells me anything about his day at school or what he has been learning!