DD being ignored by her friend for another friend

[user1482129283]

Hello, a new entry to this lovely forum.

My DD is being ignored by her best friend for another friend.DD is 8 and kindhearted. She feels a bit lost and confused. I have encouraged her to make more friends, but other pupils have friends already.Teacher says its a good chance to open up socially and make more friends.I am confused too.

I'm afraid this is very normal for children this age, especially girls in my experience.

Encourage your DD to branch out and make new friends, it is good for her to have a wider group of friends as having the one "best friend" often ends in upset otherwise.

It's all part of growing up, learning social skills and building resilience. She'll be ok

Also agree it's very normal at this age. Some of the girls are maturing at different rates and will also start to realise that "best friend from Reception" and they now have totally different interests.

my DD is now 10 and her closest friends now compared to when she was 7 are almost an entirely separate set of girls. Your DD needs to make the effort to get to know others - friendships don't stay the same forever.

I can only echo what others have said. Girls in particular are in and out of friends all the time. That is why it is best to encourage a wide circle of friends than a particular 'best' friend, that way when the inevitable falling out or friends being "taken away" happens, it doesn't hurt quite so much if you can slot into another group easily. This worked for my DD and myself at school.

Some kids are very capable of being little shits. This girl is doing something your dd would never dream of doing but, sadly, will encounter in her peers every so often. On the plus side, this is an early warning sign that your dd should take the opportunity to distance herself from this girl (quite possibly what the teacher was implying but was not allowed to say!) before she gets worse with age. Not all kids are nice, don't waste your dd's precious childhood time being belittled and being made to feel bad for no reason.

I hate adults describing children as 'shits'. This child is not an adult and is behaving like a child. She is seeing something in the other child that attracts her to them. Some children are like moths that flutter around a bright light. It was ever thus! She may not be fully aware of your DDs feelings.

It is not always possible or desirable to distance yourself from another child that you thought was your friend but friendships do fluctuate and developing resilience to this is important. It is a really good policy to try and make friends with a wider group. Children are not necessarily wedded to friends and there can be room for another in a friendship group. Try inviting other children round to tea. Ask a child or two to the cinema. Ask your DD to choose who. Who is on her table at school? There is usually a way through this but it does take a bit of thought. Bitterness aimed at another child rarely works and is not recommended.