Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Scottish P1 Entry - Deferring

28 replies

KirstyW10 · 17/12/2016 10:20

Hi needing some advice for DS, I have to register him for school just after the New Year, However, he's a February birthday so should go when he is 4 and a half. Some days I think he's totally ready and other days I'm not so sure.

I'm getting conflicting advice all the time but I don't know whether to send him or not, I don't want to make the wrong choice and regret it.

I'm at the stage where I'm just thinking, ok that's when his birthday is so that's obviously when he's meant to go. If he was born 4 days later it wouldn't be my decision.

HELP!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Nemesia · 17/12/2016 10:23

Most parents of boys born in February in my son's class deferred entry so they went to school at 5 and a half. I don't think they regret it at all. I also think that although he may be ready now, sometimes the age difference only comes to light when they start secondary school.
I would say there were more advantages to being the eldest over being the youngest in the class.

Original poster

KirstyW10 · 17/12/2016 10:28

I've heard that quite a lot. I maybe don't see it as an issue as I was a February baby also and I didn't have any problems. I really wish the decision was taken out of my hands.

OP posts:

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 17/12/2016 10:32

Is he at nursery? What do they say?

Shadowridge · 17/12/2016 10:34

Most people defer if that helps. It is high school where being a full year younger than your friends really can show and make a big difference. Personally i wouldn't hesitate to defer. I have a March DS and cou6ldnt imagine him going to school a year before he did. He did get a bit bored at nursery and was ready for school by 5+ but that wasn't an issue in the scheme of things. Do the nursery have a ready for school checklist they could go through with you that might help.

Original poster

KirstyW10 · 17/12/2016 10:38

he is at nursery and they think he will be ready. I just don't want to send him and regret it. I don't know if it's because most people keep telling me to defer him. MIL also thinks I should defer him.

OP posts:

Original poster

KirstyW10 · 17/12/2016 10:39

they've not mentioned a checklist, but that sounds like a good idea. I've never heard of that before

OP posts:

Shadowridge · 17/12/2016 10:44

You might need to ask if the schools educational phycologist has one.

As a mum though, you need to weight up the social and friendship implications too though. I too think that there are more benefits of being one of the oldest vs the very youngest in the year especially for boys in a high school setting where physical strength and abilities can be a factor. As you say if he was 4 days younger there would be no decision to make so

TheTroubleWithAngels · 17/12/2016 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trixymalixy · 17/12/2016 11:29

I would defer without hesitation too.

You're unlikely to regret deferring, but may regret sending him too early.

I have no regrets about deferring my DS.

Nemesia · 17/12/2016 16:49

Kirsty, deferring does seem to be recommended more for boys than girls. The Feb born girls in my son's class are all a year older than the February born boys! That is probably why it didn't do you any harm.

QuinnsNo1Lady · 17/12/2016 16:53

My boy is a Jan birthday. He was teady for school at 4...or so I thought.
Only now he is in S4 and still quite immature to be dealing with prelims do I wish I had deferred him.

Celticlassie · 17/12/2016 16:57

As a teacher I would defer if I was in your position. I sometimes find that by the time they're in secondary they are a bit immature compared to their classmates when they're in certification classes.

DanyellasDonkey · 17/12/2016 16:57

If you're in any doubt, I would defer him. I've heard parents say, "I'm glad I didn't put him to school" but nobody has ever said, "I wish I'd sent him a year earlier"

I think it's more common in boys as girls tend to be more mature.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 17/12/2016 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrostyLeaves · 17/12/2016 16:58

I would jump at the chance to defer. Mostly for reasons in high school. Emotional maturity, sports teams, age at leaving school. There are no benefits to leaving school early that I have seen and there are some disadvantages.

FrostyLeaves · 17/12/2016 17:04

Listen I know December born kids whose parents pushed for deferral!
With a February born you are given the option. Most people I know have gone for deferral.
It IS advantageous to be older in the year.

SoggyDays · 17/12/2016 17:08

Nursery are looking at him here and now. It's for the long term benefits that many parents defer.

Look at the wider picture.

AgentProvocateur · 17/12/2016 17:11

Defer definitely.

trickycat · 17/12/2016 17:14

Defer him. Think of how he will cope socially when a teenager apart from anything else. It would be a no brainer for me.

FinallyARainbow · 17/12/2016 17:14

I'm surprised that it's more common to defer, I've never known anyone to do this and have a lot of friends with Feb birthdays. Food for thought for DS, he's not a Feb birthday but a preemie so might still have the option.

Cantstopeatingchocolate · 17/12/2016 17:15

I would defer
My Nov born was ok, but at our first parents evening we were told he was 'quite young' which we took to mean he was a bit more immature than the others in the class.
There's 3 Feb born girls who all turned 6 just 3 months after his 5th birthday so deferring not just limited to boys. These girls are very confident and are doing well in class whereas DS can be quite distracted still.

SoggyDays · 17/12/2016 17:17

Our nursery teacher said a gap year before university is a good idea for 17 year olds leaving school..

It's hard to DO much at the age of 17 tbh and I believe it to be the worst advice ever! She was good with wee ones though. Also getting work opportunities is easier if you are older in the year.

SoggyDays · 17/12/2016 17:19

Finally I found deferral varied between areas.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 17/12/2016 17:26

I didn't defer our Feb boy. He's totally fine, but, he's only about to turn 9 and in P5. He's our youngest one, so had been going to school his whole life and could manage the checklist above and I saw absolutely no reason to hold him back.

Our daughter's birthday is the 29th of Feb and we sent her too, and she couldn't be any younger in the year! The oldest kid in her year was 18 months older than her (he'd been extra-deferred because of ASD), they were like a different species. She's our eldest, now 12 years old in 2nd year and also thriving.

Both kids are academically and socially able. Neither would have benefitted from being the biggest in the year/first to go through puberty/surrounded by "babies".

Our middle kid,however, is a September birthday, and I'd have deferred him if I'd been given the option because he still lives in a world of his own and can't organise himself for toffee.

So, I guess I'm flagging up that #notallboys. Yes, Mr Feb's physically smaller than the other kids, but, he's not in any way held back by that. I'm glad we sent him, he's in the right place and doing really well.

You know your kid best. I did too, and sent them, and it was the right decision for them.

Lone voice, though...

weebarra · 17/12/2016 17:29

I should have deferred DS1 whose birthday is next week. He's now in P5 and has struggled socially. He may well have done anyway- he has dyspraxia and is being assessed for ADD, but I think another year would have helped.

Flip

1 2