Invited to play after just 4 days.......

[mycrazytoddler]

Don't know how I feel about letting my DS go to play at a new school friends house, they have only spent 4 days together and I haven't had a chance to get to know the parents yet!!
Wasn't expecting this so soon! Is this usual?

It sounds nice. How old is your ds?

How old is he? Are you going too?

My sons just started reception and bring his 'best' school friend home for tea today, but his mums coming too.

I have a same problem. I don't know my child's classmate parents.but he was asking my daughter almost everyday to his house. How to avoid this nicely.

Rattusn & Cheerybigbottom he is nearly 5 just started reception!! I think I'm going to stay, although other childs mum did offer to pick up straight after school......politely declined! I think other mum is expecting me to drop off and collect later?! Don't want to be rude or offend, but don't feel comfortable leaving him!

We joined school knowing nobody and I guess we didn't do things with other children for several weeks. It is probably a bit different for a child with older siblings who has been copped up all summer whilst brothers and sisters have had a procession of friends to play/sleep over.

I am assuming this is reception/year 1? If you are worried about not knowing the parents/their attitude to safety why not tell a few white lies along the lines of:

• Actually my son really benefits from a run around after school...how about we bring some snacks and head to the park instead?
• I don't really know many other parents...could I tag along for a cup of tea too ?
• We're really busy this week; can I email/text his Mum to find a day we can all do (assuming you get to share emails etc...it seems to depend on the school/parent group)

The problem is , we attend local school ,so her classmate lives around the corner. So when we walk to school or home ,he joined us and started to ask. I have already told a lot of lies and excuses. I don't want to leave her alone

Nearly 5 is quite young. I wouldn't want to leave my DC alone at that age in general, mainly because I don't think it would be fair on the other parent.

I would accept the invite, but stay. No need to lie, just say that it would be nice to get to know them, and that you don't think it would be fair on them to drop and run.

Yeah I don't think I'd like my son to go to a house where I didn't know anyone without me. Perhaps invite your sons friend, and parent to your house one day or like someone said to a local park after school.

Maybe they are lonely and are trying to make new friends through their kid? My brother has done that a couple of times. He arranged a couple of playdates and made friends with some of the other parents.

I'm going to stay, hoping that DS will insist I stay so that I don't have to awkwardly invite myself!! Lol x

4 is very young and honestly unless I knew the parents already (from nursery or whatever) I wouldn't have allowed this. A mutual meeting like a play area is the way to go. Or your house even.

Why not just quietly say to the Mum that DS isn't comfortable staying in a new place on his own yet and would she mind if you stayed the first time?

There was a free 'back to school' magazine that I picked up in Tesco yesterday and one of the tips for new reception starters was just that: help your child to integrate by inviting the new classmates on play dates ASAP. I was a bit reading that, as I feel they'll get to know them in their own time, but that might offer an explanation as to why she did it- she probably read the same magazine!!

My DC always did playdates from early on. Some have become regular, some haven't. At this stage, it's always been normal for a parent to come too.

One thing I regret is I declined the offer to go to one of my ds's friend's house soon after he started school.
The parents became like a mini clique(not in the nasty way), and my ds wasn't included in invites after that.

I stayed, had a cup of coffee and a chat......all very nice!! Glad I went, but also glad that I didnt leave!!
Thanks all, think I made the right decision!! X

I think it's not unusual for the parent to stay for the first visit when they've just started reception. One of DD's best friends burst into tears on the walk to our house on her first visit in reception. I had to call her au pair and she came and stayed with the girl for a bit. The second visit was fine and they're still really good friends 4 years later.

Ah, glad it went well.

I don't think this is weird at all. It sounds like a parent who is being proactive at making sure her child has friends in the school. I would just suggest to join along the first time. When my daughter started nursery, I arranged play dates and messaged a lot of parents I never met after she would mention names of kids she liked or wanted to play with. So I got the parents details of the list and contacted them to arrange. Some parents were aloof or not interested and some were great and now my daughter is happily settled, has friends and I know a lot of the parents.