Picking a school?

[BooBoopBeep]

Hi, I'm looking for advice on how to pick a school and a little AIBU (but not brave enough for that).

There are 4 schools I'm interested in sending my DD to.

1. Is the primary I went to as a child, this is the one I want her to go to.

Pro - fantastic teachers, small classes, caring environment. Con - it's 5 miles away, unlikely to get in due to it being 5 miles away. (Moving closer isn't an option). DM couldn't pick up if I got stuck at work (likely)

1. Is one that a friends daughter has gone to

Pro - decent sized classes, only 1.3miles away, has a 'outstanding' from ofsted. Con - I just don't like the feel of the place, parking is a nightmare and at least once a year a kid is run over (the road that runs along side it is horrific. DM couldn't pick up if I got stuck at work (likely)

1. Is a lovely school near a park

Pro - it's near a park, it's rated "good" across the board from ofsted, the uniform is adorable, 1.9 miles away. Con - bigger class sizes. DM couldn't pick up if I got stuck at work (likely)

1. Is next door. Literally.

Pro - "outstanding" across the board from ofsted. It's literally 15 seconds walk (I can see the entrance from my front door). DM could pick up if I got stuck at work (likely), good sized classes. Con - DP doesn't want her to go because there is a higher Asian to English ratio (we argue about this a lot).

DP will not be dropping off/ picking up, ever. It will be me doing it all inc working full time (aiming to be back full time by the time DD is in school a month).

Long post I know but I'm unsure what to do for the best. It will cause arguments with DP if I put school number 4 down as a choice.

Number 4 is ideal, number 1 is 2nd on the list for me, then number 3.

What would you do?

I'm also posting this in WWYD. Thanks for reading if you got this far!

1,3 and 4.

Is he concerned that your DD would struggle in comparison to asian children
That's the only reason I can see for not selecting school 4! Certainly in many areas, you wouldn't have a cat in hell's chance of getting in any of the others. Look at the admissions criteria, look at the admissions data for this year and then express your preferences, no one gets a choice-just a preference!

No he's 'not' racist. So he says. Again, we argue about this.

He says he wants her being taught in an English school where the majority of children are English.

That's literally it. I'd like her in that school for several reasons.

I'll look at the admission criteria tonight :)

I'd only look at ones you have a chance of getting in. The la will tell you last distance admitted so 1 sounds a no. I'd visit all you may get a place at with dp. Check what before/after care there is as that will be a factor if working and how easy to get a place. As long as school 4 is mixed I don't see an issue at all - if 99% Asian of common heritage then yes it can be an issue as language of playground may not be English and all kids will go to same mosque after school etc but that doesn't sound like the case. By not picking your dead very you may get one miles away worse.

Should say dead cert not very

I think that if you're the one doing all of the dropping and picking up, you should be the one to choose the distance that you are prepared to travel each day.

Out of interest, has your DP ever actually visited school no.4?

Having worked in a school where 90% of the children came from an Asian background, the children all spoke English as did most of their parents. Most Asian families are not new arrivals to this country.